In The Eyes of a Victim
by PinkMartini410
Summary: Your trapped. You can't say a word to anyone or he'll kill you. The cove is calling to you. What if you were being hurt by your abusive boyfriend. Can an unexpected friend who notices the pain, save you in time? What happens when you fall for them...
1. My life

**Hey guys I might still continue Afraid im just not sure ppl like it but I said 'might' **

**so if you want me to keep writing then tell me! I hope u like this, it isn't much dialogue but it is just giving u info on her life. **

I wake up strewn across my bedroom floor after being brutally beaten. I must have slipped into unconsciousness after he hit me over the head with a powerful blow. This wasn't always the way things used to be, I used to control my life and make my own choices but now I'm in the thresh hold of hell and I'm being run by an abuser I thought loved me.

My name is Gabriella and I'm a victim of abuse I guess you could say. His name is Chase, my boyfriend, and somehow he has it out for me and there is no stopping his repulsive ways. We met about seven months ago, around the time I moved here from a small town in California. He was in a couple of my classes at East High school and at first he was the nicest person I knew but then as if falling down hill he changed and started beating me after I agreed to date him. I told him it was over and I never wanted to see him ever again, but he told me that if I ever told anyone what he had done or broke up with him, he would kill me. I was scared, but in fear of him killing me or hurting me further I stayed quiet and went along with everything though I was hurting on the inside and outside.

I live with my dad in Albuquerque, New Mexico. My mom left when I was four and my younger sister drowned by a cove in California, part of the reason we left. So there was enough drama in my life as it was but it only got worse.

My father has never really 'loved' me. He was extremely close to Peyton, my younger sister, but for some reason we were never really close. I didn't have a relationship with either of my parents because both of them were never involved in my life but I was used to being alone. When I was younger I would go out to the ocean by myself at six years old and swim. My father never cared if I came back or not so I did what I pleased. That's why he hasn't noticed the bruises covering my skin and the way I winced in pain when I tried to walk, he didn't care and I had acknowledged that at a young age sadly.

I didn't have many friends because Chase didn't want people catching on to what he was doing. So again, I'm alone.

Pain racked my body as I tried to get up. I looked around my room. Chase was no where to be seen. Hopefully he went home after he got what he wanted. I did whatever he wanted, I dieted when he said to, did things for him, and kept the secrets that were sworn on my life.

I immediately went to my makeup set and applied cover up over the bruises on my cheek.

I was tired and sore. He had gotten really angry today because I had been skipping cheer practice to catch up on homework, he said I was gaining to much weight and threatened to starve me. I yelled at him rebelliously and said there was no way he was starving me and that enraged him beyond mending. He lost it and started hitting me and slapping, and choking, all the while telling me that I did as he said and nothing else. So I guess I will stop eating, or at least hide it from him. I wish I had a shoulder to lean on and cry into, but while im under Chase's watch I wont be doing anything for a while. I sit on my bed and suddenly drift off to a much needed sleep. I have a terrible nightmare about someone who is running my life and hurting me, only to wake up and find out it's a reality and it is going to be worse.

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**This is just the beginning and im hoping to continue so review if ya like it peeps!**


	2. Another pain

**Sorry for the lack of updates on afraid but I am going to update this more frequently now cause I think people like this one better!**

For walls, boxing me in, taking my breath, shedding light through slats of misfortune where a shadow looms over me. He comes closer and grips my wrists, telling me I'm worthless and nothing to love but resent. Troubled expressions escape through darkness to a white light where something is calling my name with hatred, until I receive the hit that ends it all and the last gasp for air do I wake to the painful reality of my life.

I have been having nightmares like that lately. Where I'm sure I will never live again or love until I remember I'm in a scary dream that could either be a warning or a sign.

But right now my life is a scary dream.

I sit up on my bed only to remember it's Friday morning and school started in an hour. I got up and stripped down to take a shower. I turned the dial on my shower to warm and jumped in.

The warm water cascaded down my back and dampened my hair, waking me up a little.

I looked down at the bruises on my stomach and cursed under my breath. It was my fault they were there. If I didn't disagree and yell at his decisions or if I just listened they wouldn't be there. But all the same maybe they would.

I turned the shower off and grabbed a towel from the rack, wrapping it around my body.

After I had gotten dressed and dried my brunette curls, I was ready for school. I was sitting at my vanity when my door swung open abruptly. I jumped a little.

Chase walked in carrying his gym bag for basketball practice he had at free period. "Let's go Gabi!" He yelled. He was my ride to school because I hated the bus and my father could care less about me

"I'm coming" I answered nervously. I followed him out my bedroom and downstairs where my father was reading the paper and drinking coffee.

"Bye dad" I called as I followed Chase out the front door. No answer. I slammed the door in anger and got into Chase's car with him.

"So do you remember the plan?" He asked me. How could I forget.

"Yeah, cheer practice everyday of the week and low carb diets" I said just as he wanted me to. He smiled at me, but not in a way you would find comforting, in way that meant he was in control.

We pulled out of my driveway and started for East high. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat wanting nothing more than to leave this horrible life I live in.

"I have practice during free period today are you going to come?" He broke the silence.

"Um, I think I should work on my English paper with Taylor, she offered to help" I dare to say.

"I don't think she is right for you, and besides all the other guys have their girlfriends go so you will to" He commanded roughly.

"Ok" I whisper. I didn't want to upset him and put myself into more danger than I have.

I guess he hasn't realized it yet, but my grades are dropping drastically and it's all because I don't have enough courage to stand up to someone who threatens my life everyday.

We park at the school and get out. I grab my bag and chase does the same as we make our way into the school. He grabs my hand and I flinch a little as we enter through two big doors.

"Alright I have to get to homeroom and so do you so bye" He says and kisses me harshly.

I nod and walk off to my locker. Chase has Mr. Ketner for homeroom and I have Mrs. Darbus, a crazy theater fanatic and anti cell phone person.

I open my locker and chuck my gym bag in it just taking my books. As I try to close it a pain in my arm from last night reoccurs and wrenches at me. _Shit! I can't carry the books._ I switch them to my other arm and gulp. That one hurts too. But I can't let it show, I ignore the pain and walk off to class.

I walk into the room and take my usual seat in the back. Some blonde girl and one of Chase's basketball team mates are the only ones in the room. But then a boy, Ryan I believe, walks up to the blonde girl. They look a lot alike.

"Sharpay, you wouldn't even bother to give your own twin a ride to school?!" He yells at her.

"Calm down Ry, You weren't even ready when I wanted to leave!" She retorted.

"No, _you _weren't ready when _I_ wanted to leave! You were to busy with your god damn hair!"

"Well do you think these gorgeous curls form over night!?!" She shot back. By now more people filed into the classroom and were witnessing the fight.

"Mr. Evans, Miss Evans, can you take your seats and zip it!" Mrs. Darbus shouted over them.

They did so and everyone had stopped talking now and turned their attention toward the front of the room.

"Way to go Ry, now I can't remember what I was going to tell Troy!" She whispered.

"Miss Evans I'm serious! No more!" Mrs. Darbus yelled making the zipper motion over her mouth.

Sharpay scowled and Ryan smirked at her which she returned with a death glare.

Troy. That named sounded familiar. Oh yeah he is on the team with Chase, and I think his dad is the coach. I have seen him play before. He was good and always had parties which Chase forced me to go to so he could show me off and convince everyone that our relationship was perfect. I didn't want to think about that now, I had time to be away from him and I was grateful for that.

**I hoped that was good! Don't worry the dialogue and other stuff that it's missing will be in the chapters after this because I need to tell about her and how he treats her at first but it will move on!**


	3. If only he knew

**Okay I know I have been very naughty and haven't updated in FOREVER to this story so I am going to make it up to u with a new Zanessa series I got in mind! Not sure about the title yet cause I want it to be really self explanatory or just really good ya know? So that will be out once afraid is done! **

**Thanx to all my friends on FF who always R&R my stories cause it means a lot to me that u do! Anyways here is chapter 3!!**

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I tapped my pencil on the surface of my desk rapidly. I would catch myself glancing at the clock every two or three seconds to make sure I still was safe. I really didn't want to go to free period and have to watch chase at basketball practice. Something about that made me shiver inside because I knew that I would have to be near him and his impertinent personality that scared me to death.

I sat back in my chair and immediately cringed in pain from the chair touching my swollen back, piercing the bone with ecstasy. Why did this have to happen to me? I was afraid to leave my own fucking bedroom in case chase was in my house or waiting to hurt me.

I was in my thoughts further when the bell rang, announcing that homeroom was over for now and so was my confidence.

I got up and grabbed my books from under my chair. When I bent down my back struck me with intense pain again. _I can't let it show, I can't I can't._ I told myself while hiding the expression that wanted desperately to cross my face.

Once I got my stuff I started for the door when Taylor stopped me.

"So Gabriella, are we still on for the assignment you needed help with today?" She asked her face lit with expression and happiness, a feeling I wished to experience again.

"I uh…can't, bye!" I blurted out quickly and ran out of the room before being questioned further, leaving Taylor confused.

I didn't mean to be rude but if I was late chase might get mad and I don't want that to happen. I raced down the halls of east high passing people left and right till I came to my locker and dialed in the combination as fast as I could. Once it was open I chucked my books in it and slammed it closed.

Then I ran to the gym, only having to stop because of the racking pain that ignited my body furiously. I entered the gym and sat down on the bleachers with some other girls and the cheerleaders that were waiting for the captain. I didn't know anyone so I just sat there and listened to what they were talking about.

Chase came out of the locker room with a fake smile and came over to me. "Hey babe!" he said to me. _Who the fuck are you trying to impress!?_ I thought.

"Hi sweetie" I said as he kissed my cheek. He did this when people were around, this fake relationship thing. I hate it. But of course I better go along with it or he will make more bruises appear than ever for not doing as told.

"It's so sweet that you wanted to watch me gabby" he lies. _Just do as planned Gabriella it's okay just breathe._

"Yeah of course chase!" I say as best I can. He seems to be fine. No glares or certain looks. If I can keep this up I might slip the pain tonight, maybe.

"Ok gabby I'm gotta play now now but don't worry I'll make it up to by tasking you out tonight!" he winks at me and kisses me lightly then jogs to the court.

I can hear the girls making awe sounds in the back. If only they knew how it really was.

"Omg your boyfriend is the hottest most sweetest and considerate guys I've ever seen!" One of the cheerleaders squeal.

"Oh, thank you" I say in my fake voice forcing a smile. Well chase it worked again, your little stage performance.

After practice ends and the free period bell rings for classes to start again. I get up and let myself into the boys locker room. I walk past rows of lockers and some guys ( I come in here a lot and so do the girlfriends so it wasn't awkward) I finally get to chase and remember to put on a fake act again to please him.

"Hey babe you really looked hot playing today!" I lie and walk closer to him.

"Aww gabs thanks! You looked hot watching!" he jokes and then smirks at me.

Troy comes over to us, he is the last one in the locker room besides chase and I now. "hey man see you later! Bye Gabriella!" he calls then walks out the two big doors.

I only catch a glimpse of troy but the little time I had to, I kinda froze and stared at him for a moment, forgetting he said anything. Chase waved and turned back to me.

"I think we did good but stop being so damn obvious ok? I mean seriously just act like it's a normal relationship or else" he says in a dangerously low voice. I couldn't compare. I've never really had a chance to be in a…in a…well I don't know what a regular relationship was I guess because I've been exploited to a violent and traumatic one.

But all the same I nod and just go with his command . but the "or else" echoes in my head with a lingering with some vengeance.

"whatever I have to get to 4th period, I'll see you at lunch" he seems to brush me off. But then suddenly grabs my arm and yanks my sleeve up, revealing tons of bruises and scratches. To my regret they are still there, as if they would disappear is to my longing. I wish the pain would disappear as well.

"Don't, take your sweat shirt off today or roll up your sleeves okay?!" he whispers loudly hissing at me.

I cringe and mutter an "Ok". Why was it like this? But yet _I_ didn't stand up to him. I couldn't.

He leaves and I walk slowly to 4th period my legs inflamed with pain and more dismay. I have science now, my 'used to be' favorite subject. I'm failing though, I'm failing everything because of him. He doesn't care and I have to pretend like I don't either, though it bothers me. I used to LOVE school. It was really all I had besides the ocean and maybe Peyton. But only When dad wasn't worshiping her and her flawless love towards him and the mother who slit a small rip in our family. I could never trust her after she left, but its not like I had the chance because I don't see her coming around here anytime soon, but I don't actually blame her. Who would want to put up with me and…_him._ Peyton always said that mom loved us and she was a good mom but she had to go for her own purpose and it had a reason.

I cant believe that at all. And its because I know it is far from the concealed truth that hurts. My mother left FOUR days after peyton was born. Four fucking days. 96 hours. No note. No call, nothing. And peyton expected me to think she actually loved us. No.to hard.

A small tear sheds from my eyes as I think of the ocean back in the small quiet bay in central California. That bay was my life. That cove was what I would breathe in everyday and let it relax my hurt and wounded emotions that had no where to flow out or speak of. I was a like an angelic mermaid, belonging only to the sea and water of mysteries that fulfilled my life with wonder and a small getaway from the reality I had to face when returning.

I finally make it to 4th period science. I walk in the door and take my seat in the front by myself.

Mrs. Regina walks in with a clip board in her hands and a smug grin. She is the kind of independent business woman who is tough and single, which doesn't bother her. But I drift off and can almost hear the waves crashing against my shore with loud slapping gusts of water flowing freely onto sand. I am now in a trance and I hear soft music that I used to sing myself to sleep with once.

I don't notice ms. Regina saying that she assigned lab parteners and that we were to sit with them from now on. She calls my name but I don't realize it.

"Gabriella!" she must have said for the 3rd time.

I jump "What!?" I answer shakily. She rolls her eyes.

"You really need to focus miss montez. If you were listening then you would have heard me call your name so you can be assigned to a new lab partner, but since you weren't I am forced to repeat. Gabriella montez and troy Bolton. You are lab partners" she said annoyed with my wandering mind.

Bolton? Troy was my lab partner? How should I react? I bet chase will be angry that someone has to study with me now and sit with me, it's so risky. But I was calling,screaming, for help. My voice just wasn't able to be heard.

Troy sits down next to me as ms. Regina carries on with the list of pairs. His smile is warm and comforting. It's a look I barely recognize because I haven't received it in a long time, maybe never.

For a second I am lost in my thoughts about chase's reaction and my fear and punishment as a result but then I remember to act like I'm fine.

"Hey troy" I whisper faking a friendly smile.

"Hi Gabriella. I didn't actually know you were in my science" he said in a hushed tone so ms. Regina wouldn't hear.

"I…uh am a little quiet sometimes" I say. Not completely lying.

"Well I am glad to be partners with someone sane. It seems like everyone in this class takes this a little too seriously" he jokes and I actually laugh. He thinks I'm sane. Again, if only he knew.

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**Wow if u ask me I think he likes her! LOL maybe, maybe not! Ok sorry if im confusing u I just am soooo excited that I FINALLY got this one out! YAY ME! Plz checkout my vids on youtube cuz they rock! Just click the homepage button on my profile and there ya go! XOXOXO**


	4. Blood To be Lost

ITEOAV

ITEOAV

After an hour in 4th period, talking and…actually paying attention in science with troy my mind eased a little. As the bell rang I picked up my heavy books that scored pains all over my body and pushed my stool in under the table.

"Thanks for helping me Gabriella, your really good at this stuff" he complemented me. I smile and put my bag on my shoulder.

"I...Your welcome" I say nervously hoping I said what people usually say when they help. I haven't had someone…thank me, in forever. And again out of fear I rushed out of the room quickly before anything else occurred.

I walked down the halls unnoticed by everyone. I am suddenly pulled into a dark classroom by forceful hands, familiar hands. I spin around in the darkness to make out chase's figure. He is unhappy. I can sense it.

"I hear your new lab partner is Bolton hmm?" he asks though its perfectly clear that he knew. But how?

"Yes" I breathe audibly. I am scared as to what is going to take place in the next few seconds.

"Is that so then? Well what a pity it would be if something were to happen to him" he threatens. He knows that I am skilled in science and triy isn't. he doenst want me to help him. For him to know even one more thing about me in case his dirty secret was out of concealment.

"No! He didn't do anything chase don't-" he cuts me off with a hard slap across my face and my head collides with the closed door behind me. My books flying from my hands, onto the floor as my body follows. It is still too dark to see but I feel a warm liquid on the back of my head. Blood.

"Defending him?!" he spat at me and kicked my side, hard. My stomach burns from lack of food and the kick rekindled pain. I clench my teeth and try to ignore the pain.

"That's it your done today!" he pulls me from the floor leaving behind a small puddle of blood, invisible in the blackened English room. He picks me up over his shoulder and kicks the door open. The bell for 5th period has already rung so no one occupied the halls. How convenient. He storms out of English room 207 and stalks down the hallway with me slung over him.

We exit the building and stray across the parking lot to where his car is parked. Chase opens the trunk of his old beat up Toyota and thrusts me inside. All the scars, bruises, scratches, and other marks ignite in pain as I slam onto the hard surface. He slams the trunk closed leaving me in complete black surroundings.

I feel the car being put in drive and jerk violently along the rodes to his destination. I am flung from side to side in the trunk. Hitting against the hard walls that the small space contains. I am so full of fear and pain and hunger and…everything imaginable.

My rolling, thrusting body comes to a stop indicating that we've arrived. To somewhere I never wanted to go. A nightmare that would haunt me. I hear a car door open then slam shut followed by footsteps. Suddenly the lght blinds me as the trunk pops open and I am grabbed out of it quickly. He slings me over his back again and carries me up a couple cases of out door stairs leading up to apartment buildings. One of them his.

We stop and he fumbles with a doorknob until it clicks open after his key exits the hole. Chase shoves the door poen and once we get inside he immediately closes it. Any chances of someone witnessing this was now at a zero range. Boards coved all the window and the place was pretty much dark except for a lamp in the corner. I don't like it here already. I know I am already a prisoner.

He throws me onto the ground from his back and smirks.

"Don't think I would let this go unnoticed" he says in a low voice that makes me shudder. Silent tears flood my eyes blurring my vision as I try to stop them from leaving my eyes. I cant cry because in his eyes, its weakness.

Chase kicks my hip bone with the heel of his shoe menacingly and drags me to an empty room.

Its dark and cold. I feel weaker and weaker from the blood that I am still losing. Not getting the proper help at the proper time was dangerous. My dark hair is wet with blood by now and so is the back of chase's shirt where my head was resting.

He drags me further into the room where I feel hard wood floor under me. Making me shiver. He picks me up for a split second then chucks me to the floor again. I gasp from all the hurt surfacing through me and my swollen soul.

I can feel his reaction to everything he does to me. Nothing but complete satisfaction.

Its disgusts me but I am just his helpless victim. Maybe not the first…

He walks away leaving me on the floor in utter despair. I feel his presence disappear and hear the small door click against the hinges and about a thousand locks snap and bolt on the door. Keeping me a prisoner for real.

I am too tired to get up and look for an escape. So I just lay on the floor surrounded by my own blood and tears on the cold hard ground beneath me.

**Nobody's POV**

Troy walked along the halls as he made his way to 6th period English. Thank god he had finally found someone in science that could help him with all the confusing stuff. If it was cool with chase maybe she could tutor him. If his grades didn't improve soon coach Bolton was going to rethink his spot on the team his own father.

No one knew the real secret behind the boltons that troy had to hide. His father wasn't as perfect as people thought he was. Nor was their bond. The truth was that troy wasn't really jack's son and because of that jack disowned him practically.

Troy didn't give a shit what his so called father did. It didn't affect him that much but he needed basketball. It was his life. He couldn't risk losing it.

Troy entered the room only to be stopped by one of the janitors and some kids crowding around what looked like blood…

"What happened?" he asked surprised as the puddle of blood got surrounded by more English students and even the room 207 teacher, Mr. Ferro.

"oh probably just a bloody nose or some kids got into a fight. Nothing I haven't seen" the janitor answered shaking his head and starting to clean it up.

"Oh it looks like a little worse than that" troy guessed cringing at the sight. Having no idea how it got there only hours before.

"Now students Mr. Shaun should have this cleaned up on no time so we should start class before the bell rings and you are all counted tardy for unoccupied seats" he hinted as everyone rushed to sit down. Tory gazed out the window and let his thoughts travel to a certain brunette that he didn't even realize he was day dreaming about.

**Back to Gabriella's POV**

A song plays into my head slowly as I wince in pain again and again as it continues to wrench at me. Exhaustion is killing me. I am so weak from starvation and beatings that I feel my body losing consciousness.

I feel more blood escape as my vision completely blurs and I slip into an unwelcoming blackness…


	5. facedown

Ocean waves are crashing…sand is picking up in the wind…mist is blowing through the damp air…the sea is calling to me like a s

**Sorry if this is short but I've been wayyyyyy busy with stuff so I tried to make it good! Luv u all and u 2 chloe and megan! XOXOXOXO**

_Ocean waves are crashing…sand is picking up in the wind…mist is blowing through the damp air…the sea is calling to me like a song…I need the waters edge pushed against my soul…I need the vast drowning of the underwater world…_

My eyes flash open to a dark empty room. The same room where a prevalent sleep over took me forcefully. I felt it almost. The sea. I could hear the foam and the currents, I could feel the mist and the cold liquid splashing against me. It was so real. It was my cove, Peyton's cove. But why?

I haven't dreamt of the sea in years. The nights that I thought about it were terrible because I ended up in my own ocean. Of tears.

Pain rushes back to me where the back of my head is resting on the floor in dried blood. It still hurts with syringes of memories from how it got there. I can't heave myself up quite yet, pain wont let go of its dense hold on me. I can't see anything but black except the small slit of light under the door where I see shadows looming. It's him.

My breath gets caught and I stay silent with my eyes closed tightly and a small whimper let released from my shaking body. I hear the bolts on the door unhitch and snap open one by one. How does he know I'm awake? Or does he? Suddenly the door is swung open revealing chase with an annoyed look on his face. My vision is blinded by the light that's poured in abruptly and I cant see him clearly until they adjust. He's angry with me again.

"finally awake I see?" he snarls and comes closer to me. I say nothing. I feel so weak from the blood loss and so scared of what he's going to do that I can't find my voice to answer. Bad decision.

"what's wrong gabby?" he plays rudely. As if some thing weren't…

"I'm sorry" I whisper from a force of habit. That's what he wants to hear. He wants ME to confirm that I've done wrong and I should grovel and beg for forgiveness. He smirks.

But then from now where he grabs my side, pulling me up with the weight of my swollen head forcing my neck to straighten. I scream in pain and he cups his hand over my mouth.

"don't you dare scream or make any sound!" he whispers harshly and slaps my face hard with the other hand. I wince silently as he shoves me against the room's wall. My front colliding with the wall vaguely and then only to have my limp body slide to the floor. My breathing becomes shallow again and I feel my heart slow. I can't move anymore. I am unable to fight back.

Chase walks over to me quickly and heaves me up once again. His strong hands take a tight grip on me and he drags me to the bathroom outside of the dark and empty room. My bare feet brush against the cool floor during the dragging to te bathroom. He enters the room with me and slams me to the mirror, blood rushing from my lip. I am helpless and barely awake at this point. God don't let it end here. Not now. Not yet.

"I thought I told you not to talk to anyone!" he yells at me. How does he know I talked to troy?

I still can't answer which aggravates him even more. It builds the resentment inside of him and he hits me repeatedly. Harder the blow each time. I am numb and start to slip through again to that uncomfortable place. Chase cuffs my hands behind me and throws me to the ground. He hates when he isn't in control or getting his way. He hates me. Loathe is what his other desire is but yet I am still his victim to scar.

He starts kicking my side and yelling things that I cannot make out anymore. Chase's fist crashes into my shoulder swelling it already as more hits follow. I am picked up once more then thrashed into the closed door. My eyes fully close and my pulse skips a second. Unconsciousness meets me.

Chase pushes me to the side of the bathroom and opens the door. He walks out and away from me then closes it and locks me in with more bolts. Getting what he wanted.

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**Nobody's POV**

Troy was still outside at 9pm shooting hoops. He had nothing better to do because Chad was out of town and he didn't feel like facing his dad day after day. His mind flashed back to today's events in science.

_Flashback_

_Troy and Gabriella are at science talking during the period._

"_Wow so you really used to live in California?" troy asked resting his elbow on the table and staring into the brunette's brown eyes that caught his immediately._

"_Yeah with my father and younger sister, I grew up by the ocean so it means a lot to me" She answered. Gabriella hadn't opened up to someone in so long and she missed it badly. Everything she said Troy listened to and understood, their feelings almost connected._

_There was no doubt he felt it to but something was still in the way. Gabriella still seemed shy and a little quiet and it bothered him. She could barely speak to him and trusting someone was going to be difficult._

_Troy looked deeper in her eyes and caught himself in a trance. Gabriella felt the closeness and immediately closed up again like time and time again. Because of Chase her heart was in a fragile state. Not to be played with as it had been many times.She just couldn't risk it._

_End of flashback_

Troy didn't understand why she acted that way and something inside him was burning to know and find out. She seemed so scared. But of what? It didn't make sense.

_I have got to stop thinking about her! _He told himself harshly. So many thoughts were running around in his mind and he couldn't control them. He reached out a shot another miss.

"Ugh!" he groaned. He hadn't made one basket today and that wasn't like him. He had to be in shape for his dad. He was the captain and that couldn't change. _It's time to get focused troy, just let it go. _

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**Gabriella's POV**

I open my eyes to the tiled wall of a bathroom. My head in inflamed with pain and I feel my weak body cringe from the events. If I was weak before this made it worse. The controversy between chase and I was so different. I was so scared and yet he was so vicious and cold hearted.

No matter what he did I was immortal. Why couldn't he just end it now? I've been through enough and I don't want to be here. More tears cascade down my face in a waterfall as I lay on the floor whimpering.

In a flash the door flies open and chase comes in again. For more. Please just let it end.

He has a terrible look on his face and he drags me from the ground. I don't even fight but I want to. I am so helpless and paralyzed from fear and intense pain that I try to move but fail.

Chase slings me over his back again and carries me to a bedroom, _god no, please don't._

But he does and I react. He starts ripping my clothes off and I am screaming at him to stop.

"CHASE STOP PLEASE!" the yelling is taking away more energy and he isn't listening. He keeps hitting me more and more while removing clothing violently. Teras flood my eyes faster now and I am screaming and trying to get away from this man I fear and haunt my dreams with.

The room is also dark and I can't see much but I can feel it. He pins my wrists to the bed once my clothes were all off and I start to slip in and out of consciousness._ I have to stay awake, don't let me leave god help…help…_

I feel more pain and then I feel my breathing slow and my pulse becomes the only thing I can hear. My eyes close and the darkness comes back. Once again unconscious and asleep only to be awakened in a prison.

But my mind still chants relevantly.

_Help…anyone…help…I need to hear my ocean again…help me…save me…Troy…_


	6. Memories Will Wash Away

Hey guys I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my friend Zoe who has put up with a lot of stuff this week and deserves all the

**Hey guys I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my friend Zoe who has put up with a lot of stuff this week and deserves all the love and support for what a jerky guy did to her and for being sick recently. WASH UR DAMN HANDS PEOPLE CUZ THE FLU IS BACK!! AHHHHH! LOL And from this point on TOS (the entire story) is dedicated to chloe since I was gonna dedicate afraid to her but I deleted it so its now her story! Chloe's TheAuthor07 btw she writes the best stories ever!! LUV YOU ALL** XOXOXO

It had been three days since the apartment incident. After three terrifying and horrific days he let me go home. I was traumatized by the situation. Chase and I had slept together before but that was when I thought we were in love. When he lied to me. But never had he forced me into it and that was more than able to be handled properly.

Chase's car sped into my driveway and lurched to a violent stop. He was still mad at me for everything and I was still painfully curious about how he knew it all. It frightened me. It was as if I was being watched every second and that made me feel so insecure.

I slowly opened the door and gave him a questioning look asking if he'd really let me leave. He nodded and shot me a glare. I took a deep breath and started to close the door but he stopped me so he could get a word in.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning and don't even think about telling the truth about why you've been…absent. You were sick ok?" he more commanded than asked. His voice hissed as he talked at me.

"Ok I promise" I whispered showing the fear on my face and the inability to fight back in the way my eyes gleamed for help.

He reached out and grabbed the door from me and slammed it before I could. It slammed hard and he immediately backed up and took off down the street. I let out a sigh and dragged my sore body to the door.

I pulled my key out as silent tears fell and unlocked the front door to my house. It was not at all a home. I didn't feel safe there or anywhere else. The door unlocked and I pulled it open to a dark and empty house. I dropped my school bag from three days ago and slid my shoes of cringing in pain as I moved.

"Dad?" I called softly. I wassn't sure I needed his neglect right now but I didn't know if he was home.

No answer came as usual and I let out another sigh. I walked across the house slowly so I wouldn't endanger my body in further pain and came to the garage door. I opened it and peered inside the big area. It was too dark to see so I snapped the light on. There was only a lone pick up trunk resting. My fathers BMW was gone.

Maybe he'd gone out. I closed the door and wiped the tears that started to blur my vision once again. My head kept a ringing sound to it and it got harder for me to hear. It signaled me that something was wrong. But what?

I dragged myself back to the front room and looked around for any sign of life. Nothing. It was weird to me, usually when he was gone I didn't care. I wasn't alarmed because I was used to it. But this time, this time something felt strange and I didn't know why. I blamed it on the past days events and shook my head furiously as memories flew back. I let out loud sobs and suddenly crashed to the floor as the rape came to my mind.

It was so inevitable and scary that my whole body shook and I felt scared all over. More tears cascaded down and I sobbed harder and louder in the empty house where no one could hear me or care.

I pulled my knees to my chest and sealed my eyes closed hard. I took in deep breathes and tried to rid my mind of fear and weakness. It didn't work. It never does.

I heaved myself up and started for the stairs. I gently pulled myself up them and stumbled to my bedroom. I turned the brass knob and opened the door to my dark bedroom. The curtains flew lightly in the breeze from the glass door being an inch open and some air came in briskly. But it was now dark outside and so was my mind.

I slammed the door closed and went into the bathroom. I hurriedly stripped down and turned the shower to a warm condition then climbed in slowly. Pains shot up my back and legs as I lifted them. The water ran down my swollen body and eased the pain that the bruises and slashes had given me rapidly.

Everything was a whirl of emotions now and my control no longer existed. If I wanted to live I had to follow the orders of _him_. It was all my fault! My mind chanted at me deceivingly. I was incautious with chase and he waited till I was at my weakest and I had no shield nor protection and then he'd attack. Just as he'd done to me at the apartment. I was still sore from that incident. He hurt me in ways that I couldn't speak of or want to think of any longer. But they still would haunt me deeply when I closed my eyes. I was sure of that.

I slid down the tiled wall to the bottom of the shower and once again pulled my knees to my bare chest and cried my heart out. My eyes were red and blood shot and I was so breathless from crying that my breathing was like quick gasps that made my lungs strive to perform and keep me subtle.

The shower water washed over me again and again and I cried hared each time letting my feelings escape for the first time in a while. I was helpless in his eyes and because of him I would never be anything but someone screaming for help. Someone without a voice.

I wiped my eyes again and willed myself to get up and turn off the shower in steady movements that were hard not to cringe from. I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body so I wouldn't have to see the new gashes and marks and bruises that covered me from head to toe. I dried my brunette locks and made my way into te bedroom that felt cold from the breeze to my exposed skin.

I pulled on some boy shorts, my bra, a blank tank top, and some soft pink pajama bottoms that rested my aching legs with cotton surrounding them. After I had dressed I lay on the ground and let more and more tears come and go as the pleased. Thoughts crossed my mind and I began having trouble with my breathing. I hoisted myself up and decided that I needed sleep and fast. I glanced at the clock which revealed in bright red letters 12:24 am. It was late and I had to face a judge mental world tomorrow along with an abuser.

I turned out my light and dragged myself to my bed. I pulled the covers back and got in as slow and carefully as possible. Then I pulled them to me and covered myself with them. I looked out the window of my sliding glass doors that led to a balcony and felt more tears sliding slowly from my eyes and falling down my cheeks with angst.

I put a hand to the back of my head and gasped. I felt the cut. The deep gash was not yet healed and it burned as my hand touched it.

"I need my ocean" I whispered to no one. Inside my heart pounded and I wished I could hear the waves again. I wish I could hear Peyton's cries when she was a baby, and how I would tip toe into her room at night and climb the bars of her crib when I was three and look down at her with a gleam in my brown eyes. I would do that so she knew I was close and she didn't have to be afraid of the world as I was.

The only thing I was comfortable with was the ocean. I could swim for hours and run along the shore trying to race the tide that kept pace with my pulse at night when I slept. I closed my eyes and in my head the sound of waves was heard and it tried to lull me to sleep yet again. Pulling me into its depths like a song. I want to obey. I let my mind, body, and soul slip into it's imaginary waters and fell into a dreamless sleep.


	7. Predestined fate

I am jolted awake by a frequent beeping noise

I am jolted awake by a frequent beeping noise. I open my eyes and slowly tap the top of my alarm, silencing it. I attempt to get up but instead my weak arms give out and I collapse on the bed. I look down at my swollen and bluish colored arms and croon. They look worse than they ever have. At least no one had to or would see them but me, and chase. After all he was the one that put them there. Each with a hard and emotional blow to give the pain more to me and make him feel better.

Knowing I can't even struggle to get up, I drag my self out the warm and comforting bed that lulled me to sleep with a mimicking ocean I thought I knew. I haven't stopped dreaming about the cove since the apartment. I didn't really dream about it last night though. I heard it.

I saw nothing but blackness, but this time it was friendly and a little familiar. I could hear the waves pushing against the tide line and the way the water worked back and forth. I couldn't get the sea out of my head. I was in a trance state until I snapped myself into reality and rose to my feet with a cringe.

I still haven't eaten since the apartment either. Half of it was out of fear and the part was that I didn't feel hungry. After you keep depriving yourself you don't feel the hunger anymore, but this morning I was going to eat. I needed to if I wanted to keep going. But that was just it. Did I really want to? Putting up with all the fights that he won every time was catching up with me and started pulling down harder like weights. I had to keep going though. It might kill me but chase can't keep winning. The feeling inside of me then was like pure confidence. I was almost afraid of it because I wasn't used to it, I knew it would disappear quickly once I was n the view of chase again.

I stumbled to my bathroom and leaned over the sink out of drowsiness. I forced myself to look up and was struck at the sight of my tearstained face. It was red and I looked more tired than I felt. The bruises were darker than last night and the hurt more too.

My bloodshot eyes could sum the story up of what happened by just looking at them. I had to fix this. Once I had taken a long shower and eased the bruises and swollen marks all over my skin, I dried my hair and gently brushed it out. I was careful not to pull on my scalp to hard because of the deep cut from when chase threw me against the doorknob on that scary day when more and more of his revolting habits unraveled on me. When my hair was finished I bent down to grab a towel to wrap around my exposed body when something caught my eye.

On the white towel I was about to pick up I spotted a small red mark. Blood. I knew it was from the cut because this was the same towel I'd used to wrap my hair up in a turban. I shuddered and again slowly raised my left hand to my scalp. I once again felt the deep opening and whimpered when my fingers touched it. Bringing my hand down, I looked at the tip of my fingers and tears welled up as I saw blood covered all over them. It was hard to bare but I took a deep breath and wiped my tears that managed to escape.

I shook my head angrily. I am not going to do this, I have to pretend like nothing is wrong. I told myself that everyday it seemed like. I just wish that I'd finall come to believing it.

I brushed the cut out of my mind swiftly and started getting dressed for another day in a fake life. It didn't allow expressing feelings, or telling the truth to anyone. I had no anyone. No one cared and even if they did I had no one to tell.

I pulled on some blackish skinny jeans and a tight tank top that I covered with a big sweatshirt. It was white with the ripped logo 'Aeropostale' on it, across the front. It was really big but it covered the evidence and that was all that mattered.

After I applied makeup to the areas on my face where the bruises showed and gathered my bags by the front door where I'd dropped them the day before, I paused. The house was still quiet and not a sound could be heard. This bothered me just as it had yesterday and the curiosity got the best of me.

I set my bags down on the stairs and walked around the bottom story to where my fathers room was. I cautiously opened the door and peered inside the dark room. There was a small glow from the sun that bared through the shut blinds but from what I saw no one occupied the bedroom but me. I frowned and closed the door, walking back down the hallway and into the kitchen that I again found empty.

I grabbed myself something for breakfast and returned to a suspicious search that had me wondering. I knew the one place where I would get an answer. The garage. I went oer to the garage door and opened the door in a fast motion that made a small sound from the hinges. Empty.

All accept that lonely truck. My father's car was still gone. I knew he didn't leave this early and there was no way he came back last night for everything was untouched. I couldn't contemplate why he'd left but it wasn't like he cared about me so I decided he would come back and that overreacting was not going to solve this strange case. Though it still wavering in my mind, waiting to be brought out and come back to haunt me as that terrible apartment memory has and is.

I exhaled loudly and shut my eyes tight as reoccurring pain flooded back to me with a stream of sadness. But I couldn't identify that part of it yet. I opened them while I also pushed the pain away and put on the fake act even though I was alone. I still didn't know if chase was driving me to school but that question was answered when he pulled up in the driveway like always. I dreaded this part of the day. The car ride.

I exited my house and shut the front door behind me as made my way up to the car with the fake look and not the solemn one I'd come to have after the events of my life.

I opened the door for myself and got into the car as best I could without showing any emotion whatsoever. If I couldn't show _them _as in people, I couldn't show him as in, the cause.

"Hey gabi feeling better?" he smirked as I closed the door and looked at him with an answer in my eyes.

I had to pretend I was absent. He would kill me if I didn't. but it wasn't that hard, I have done this thousands of times. After a crucial beating or something that interfered with school I was in the position to lie about it and make up a plausible excuse. Something that would buy me time and approval.

He sped off to East High and went over what I would say and do and not say when certain things were asked of me. On the outside I nodded and replied to him, but on the inside I was screaming. There was only so much I could take. I could handle. This was far beyond my breaking point but I still was able to agree and listen and follow command like it was nothing hard and troubled.

Once we made it the parking lot he let me out early for some reason. He drove up really close to the entrance and told me to get out and go in, he said he'd park the ca and talk with me later. I was secretly relieved and grateful but I did as told and let him drive away as I got out onto the entrance sidewalk. Then the feeling of that curiosity came back and the situation felt strange to me.

Why would he let me leave like that? It clambered in my head like the thought of my father not being present and sent me into a state of confusion. Why was everything so hard?

Without ending the feeling I entered the school and was met with hundreds of high school student rushing about to talk to people, retrieve things from lockers or make classes early. None of them noticing me. Thank god. If chase wasn't with me no one came up and talked about basketball games or weekend parties.

I squeezed through the huge crowd of cliques that had no idea what was going on in my life. You couldn't read my face anymore from the makeup covering it. A task, one of the only, I could do right in his demeanor.

I made it to my half empty locker and spun the lock in rhythm to my combination. I pulled it open and stuffed some of the things from my bag into it and then grabbed my homeroom stuff that I'd need. Closing my locker and starting off down the halls I stopped at a nearby window and a figure caught me. I stared at it through the window. It was chase.

He was still out on the parking lot but he was talking to someone. But who? The guy looked familiar yet I couldn't name him right then. I ignored it and rushed off to my homeroom. It stuck in my head though. Just like my fathers absence, it played with my mind and aggravated me. I tried not to let it win.

I slowly and finally came to Ms. Darbus's room and walked inside. It felt weird being here, school seemed so far away because of what happened. I could feel eyes on me and immediately turned around to see who they belonged to. I spun around and was shocked to meet a pair of gorgeous blue eyes from across the room that locked with mine. Troy smiled at me and nodded.

I felt my stomach churn. Would chase get mad at me again? I had to be careful. I was so scared and unused to the feeling of compassion that I nervously looked away and didn't return the smile. My heart rate when up and started beating at a relevant speed. I didn't need this right now. Any of it. I just needed to make something of this senseless feeling that kept building up inside of me. It alarmed me that something was wrong. But I had no way of telling what and why.

I was thrown out of my deep thoughts as ms. Darbus spoke.

"Ah miss Montez, glad to have you back. Do you have a slip?" She asked and held her hand out.

I nodded and took out a small pink admit slip from my binder and handed it to her. She thanked me and I dragged myself to my seat in the back where I was unnoticed and unseen. Uncared about was really the phrase. Alone.

The morning bell rang and Ms. Darbus went off about musical tradition and the art of theater as I fell into an essence of thoughts and memories that captivated my attention and held me deeply to the plot with it. I gazed out at the window and more things traveled around in my head.

After a long time of drifting off the bell rang and second period started. I ran out of the classroom as per usual so no one could stop and talk to me, endangering my survival.

I went through another period of lessons and talking, wishing it would never end so 3rd period didn't have to take reign over me and put me in the pressure of him and them.

I glanced at the clock which read to my dismay that I had two minutes. I wasn't going to be safe in two minutes. I felt my stomach churn again and I let a small tear fall down onto the blank paper in front of me. I checked myself out mentally from every class and that gave me too much time to fear the periods when chase had control and I was forced into the spotlight of an abusive relationship.

My eyes shot back at the ticking clock, one minute. My heart started to beat rapidly and I closed my eyes tightly again. In my head the waves surrounded my despairing thoughts with sand and water. Water that you never can trust. Would it pull you in or keep you in a current of tranquility? You'll never know. But that's why I loved it, craved it with all my scarred heart and mind. I needed it.

The bell rang throughout the school and I got out of my chair and gathered my books and things hurriedly. Being on time was so important and if I wasn't it was another excuse to make up or dare to lie. Even though I god damn well know it wouldn't work. He'd know it was a lie, he always knows.

I darted from the class I was in and jogged down the halls without completely killing myself, or at least what was left.

The students in the corridors all went about with their own lives and didn't give me as much as a smile. That's when Troy's face came to my mind. He'd smiled at me. It was a strange feeling of that, that…kindness. I almost couldn't recognize it. But I also did not return the gesture and was afraid too. He was probably confused as to why I didn't, but he didn't understand. I was to let no one in. No one can know the secret of what he does to me. How it adds up to that I will ever quite get but as for now I had yet to risk another person in this prison. Prison of violence.

Making sure not to draw much attention to myself I opened the two huge red doors to the gymnasium and walked inside briskly. I took my usual seat on the bleachers and pretended to listen to the girls and what they discussed.

The boys locker room opened and Chad, one of the players and Troy's best friend, ran out and began warm ups with some other players. And so practice began, but I didn't see chase yet. Where the hell was he? It was not like him at all to be late.

Then just as it had two times today, the feeling came back. That bothering thing that teased me and made me feel so vigorous and dizzy. But before I could let chase and him talking to his friend or my dad slip into my troubled head, chase entered from the locker room and acted as nothing was up. I faked smiled at him when the guys were absent mindedly watching us and he gave me the same one in return.

I knew I was the only one that could tell if he was acting or not. No one else was put in these situations that I was, one where you have to make believe and lie to your self. But in this case I was very aware of what was reality and what was that plastic thing he called love. I word that I've come to hate,

It never means anything. My mother used to tell me she loved me, and now she's left me and my torn family to stand on our own feet and take care of ourselves without a warning or anything.

My father never told me he loved me and he didn't have to. Because I knew he didn't or doesn't. As cruel and surreal that may be. At least he never lied to me. He wasn't a father but he didn't get my hopes up and fill me with thoughts and feelings that I actually mattered. No one had to tell me I didn't matter. It was already perfectly clear.

After free period ended I walked into the locker room like always and found that me and chase were alone in it because all the guys had left.

I walked up to his locker with words chanting in my mind loudly. I breathed in and out inaudibly and looked at him softly, searching for an expression. Then as I felt my mouth open I tried to immediately close it but it was too late and I dared to ask a question that I shouldn't have.

"Why were you late?" I ventured. I stopped and time froze until I was met with a repulsive blow to the cheek. He slapped me hard this time and his eyes said it all. I shouldn't have gone there, that far.

"It's not your place to know! Just forget about this and go to class!" he spat at me and practically shoved me out the door. He was getting defensive, that meant only one thing. He was hiding something very secretive from me. I still had that wanting to know look on my face but I dropped it and scurried out of the room with my hand on the side of my face.

I held it from all the sharp pain that struck me hardly and off guard. Tears rushed down and I tried to suck it up as the red doors opened and I descended to 4th period.

I couldn't let anyone see me cry so I dabbed my eyes with the tip of my sweatshirt sleeve and stopped sniffling. Once I felt like I could cover it up I walked into the halls and made it just in time to science. I was unsure about working with troy today because of what happened for the both of us, more of a threat to him and a beating to me though. I didn't want either one of us getting hurt. If troy got hurt by chase it all rested on me for involving him in these closed walls that desperately want to fall and open to prying eyes.

Chase can't let that happen, if his secret was out I was sure to be killed. Maybe even troy and that's why I wouldn't work with him. Like I said, I can not risk another soul.

A twinge of fear passed through me as he walked in and sat on the stool next to me with his usual happy expression. He locked eyes with mine and my breath hitched. I felt the rapid beating return and I looked away from him to the board where an assignment was being instructed. I could tell he was confused even though I hadn't looked back. He must not have understood the way I had to be.

"Hey Gabriella" Troy welcomed me sweetly as he set down his bags and placed his science book on the table.

"Hey" I answered quietly and dug through my bag for my own book. I pushed pappers to the side and kept rummaging for it until I remembered that last night I'd thrown it down with the rest of my bags and it had fallen out. It was still on the floor bet, damnit I need it today!

Troy must have read the expression on my face because he opened his book and pushed it a little towards me.

"Here you can use mine too. I'm actually surprised I brought mine!" he offered then joked. I made no attempt to answer for a minute then let out a small 'thanks' to him and got into the assignment.

Every day in science I found myself getting looser. I knew that wasn't a good thing because after the class I'd close up again and leave try in a big state of more confusion. But it was the way he got me to open up and explain things is what amazed me. I knew all the answers and definitions for almost everything and when I helped troy he seemed to understand better and what to earn it from me. Felt different but at the same time I almost enjoyed it. Of course I was careful not to make eye contact with him or smile too much because of that feeling in the pit of my stomach, chase might be watching. He might hurt me and troy. So I kept it low.

My hand brushed across the page on Troy's book so I could follow along properly when I felt mine accidentally touch his hand. I flinched and pulled my hand away quickly. I heard troy chuckle a little. I cleared my throat and kept working.

Mrs. Regina announced that our partners and us would work together quietly while she made a quick phone call. Everyone started gabbing to their lab partners and I looked at troy optimistically for a second until he looked into my eyes as always.

It scared me when he did that, no one ever did that to me. No one eve took me seriously.

I nervously glanced back to the book and read the rest of the text. He did the same but when my hand reached out to turn the page he grabbed my wrist and instantly stopped me.

I choked in alarm and looked at him weirdly. "What?" I asked him not understanding.

"Gabriella? What's this?" he asked me worriedly as he pointed to an exposed part of my arm. The sleeve must have come up when I reached my hand out.

I looked at what he was pointing at and realized it was large purple bruise from two days ago when chase slammed me into his door. I froze and caught my breath indignantly. I can't answer the question though. My mind was racked for excuses when I finally foud one.

"I um, ran into one of the lockers" I said as my voice trailed off. He stared at me.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly. I cold tell he didn't believe me. Shit chase was going to give it to me big time, my cover was half blown. Jeopardized.

"Of course" I said in the most unbelievable way but still hoped it had worked a little. I didn't know what else to do or say. Luckily the bell rang announcing the end of the period. But troy stayed still and kept staring at me.

My breathing increased and I felt my whole body wrack with the inability to answer or speak. He remained still with an unreadable expression. It told me one thing. I think he knew what had been going on.

Before letting another thought cross my mind I grabbed my things with tears free falling out of fear, and I sprinted out of the classroom. I ran all the way to a certain place that my feet carried me too and darted up the stairs to the roof top garden where I collapsed on the floor in sobs. Someone knew. I can't face chase. Thoughts ran through my mind faster with intense speed.

I sobbed harder. The secret may have been revealed. My life rested in the hands of someone, who after finding out about this, who would surely kill me. Torture me further into anxiety and most of all…death. The last thing I remember before my eyes having been closed naturally was the sound of waves. Crashing against a sandy shore. My shore…


	8. Compelling weakness

I opened my eyes and found myself lying out on the concrete where the roof top garden was set

I opened my eyes and found myself lying out on the concrete where the roof top garden was set. I remember coming up here and then…and then just blacking out. It was too much to handle now. Now when things got to overwhelming and I couldn't breathe.

I stayed atop the roof garden for the rest of the day. I didn't want to see chase. If he knew that Troy noticed even the smallest bruise, he'd come undone and penetrate all his feelings into his beatings. That meant only one thing. He'd force them at me quicker than breath or heart beat itself, and I know I would never hear the end of it, or in this case feel the end. Recover from his daily torture and punishments to things I didn't do and had no control over whatsoever. He kept going to the point where I knew some day I'd let him take me away. Away from the world and him. But he would always have the satisfaction that he won. Was it ever a battle? A battle is not a war unless the other fights back. I shrank back in fear. This was no battle. This was a sentence.

I peered down at me arm. My eyes scanned over the dark colored bruise and sighed. I slowly placed my other hand on top of it and brushed my fingers along the swollen area. My eyes closed and I tried to relax the bottled up emotions that flooded the way I came across. The way I portrayed myself to the outsiders. To…_them_.

Thoughts about science class never gave a chance to let go and they played over and over like a record. Troy's expression…the way I just _knew_ he didn't believe my made up story and immediately assumed and sadly…was probably correct.

The odds of him knowing it was chase was wrapped up to. Chase was known for his terrible temper and anger issues. He always pissed off the team and other teams with the way he took things and solved them in his own way. You just look at him and you can tell that he's mad or when he is going to lash out. On me. Of course I was the only one who knew that but I'm sure people could see how angry he acted. I just wish they'd see it like I do.

I heard the bell ring for school to get out and I quietly descended down the stairs and made my way through the crowd. I was exceeding in not running in to chase and I was hopeful to keep it in play. I knew he was going to be angry and I was going to get hurt, badly, but that's just how it was. It had to be that way for him. In the end of everything we fight about I am always left wounded and worthless.

I padded down the halls to my locker in a sprint but stopped when my legs started racking me with pain and a burning feeling. I came to a slow walk but then froze. I turned around and saw a figure instantly slip behind a corner.

I felt like I was being followed. I shook my head after disagreeing to my own dictation then went on.

The feeling flew back and this time my body spun around faster and I caught the figure disappear once more, becoming a silhouette in the vast halls. My mind doubted that I was in this situation but I felt it. Was it chase?

It couldn't be. He would not hint around with me or hide. He would come on strong and right away. The yelling would start faster than his fists came to punch and I would beg and plead. This was not chase at all. Then who? It seemed so suspicious and frightening that someone other than chase was after me that my mind was stuck on the thought and became oblivious to my surroundings. Before I knew what was happening someone bumped into me and knocked me to the floor. His papers flew around the floor and I looked up to meet two beautiful pools of blue.

Troy gathered his stuff and looked at me. No one in the halls had really noticed and we were unaware of them as well.

"I'm sorry" He said nervously and I noticed his eyes driven to something on me. I didn't understand for a minute and we just sat there on the floor without getting up until I knew what he was staring at. I followed his glance and came to an even bigger bruise on my other arm.

Fuck I forgot to pull my sleeves back down after the rooftop garden. I stuttered and my eyes shot around the halls. I didn't know what to do or say or think. I was caught again.

"Gabriella what's…tha-" I cut him off before he could finish and stood up quickly.

"I have to go!" I cried and darted around people to my locker as fast as I could. If I did not leave so fast and stayed there then I would have seen troy just sitting there still on the floor with his mind going crazy with thoughts and confusion. But I didn't see it and I left with not even thinking about 'now what?'. I just had to go before it worsened.

When I came to my locker I grabbed my things from it once it was opened and ran out the front entrance. I ignored the rushing pains and bit my lip so it would not show to anyone. I went past the parking lot and out of the school yard. I would run home. I could not get chase to give me a ride after all that took place today. He would not have it. Troy had seen two of his marks and one bigger than the first. Both held angst though. His emotions packed into every one of them. Hatred, disgrace, loathe, and repulsiveness.

Running took so much energy from me that I found my self easing into a steady pace of walking so my body didn't collapse. I forgot about the other pains and I knew that being cautious wasn't all that mattered. I was not getting proper medical care for what I'd been through, that was more of a risk than being sore.

After a long and intoxicating of pain walk I made it to my house alive. I gasped out in relief and stepped up onto the porch steps where the front door was awaiting me. I opened it up and clambered inside. Dropping my bags as usual I let them crash down without care and tears already fell anxiously now. I slammed the door shut and locked it tight.

An eerie silence occurred and reminded me to check the garage once more to see if the presence had existed. I got to the garage and turned the handle in a slow pace until it let me open the dark room up. I flicked on the light and more tears flowed. There it was again. Just that pick up trunk. The one that Peyton and I used to ride with my dad when we were little. He'd drive along the shore at sunset with us in the back. I loved those innocent days when nothing seemed to be crucial or hard.

The trunk stayed in my mind and so did the BMW that was not there still. But that was all I needed to figure out why he wasn't here right now and why he hadn't been for the past days. It was just one reason that I should have seen coming. He wasn't coming back. He left me. He's gone.

I cried aloud and slammed the door closed with force. I was so upset and everything was going wrong. I had nothing! Everyone left me. I was just alone now for real and I was bate. It would not be long before chase came around and got me into his trap again and I payed a toll.

"Everyone's gone! There not ever coming back!" I screamed and threw down a picture of my father and Peyton and I. it crashed to the floor and glass shattered all over. I whimpered and wiped the corners of my eyes. I really did feel alone right there. Like I consisted of my own world, it scared me.

All of the sudden I felt a violent shake. I looked around and saw the shelves quivering and the furniture moving abruptly. An earthquake.

The entire house shuttered and I screamed as things fell down and some crashed around me in quick motions. The sky was black already and the house seemed darker than usual. More items flew down and the house seemed to shake faster and faster. I kept crying and yelling at no one. I just needed to let my feelings out. The earthquake surrounded me in falling items and fear and crushing weight but I relapsed to what had gone wrong and kept bawling and shouting through quick gasps of air that I needed.

The quake went on and on and damaged parts of the house. I was exhausted from yelling and crying that I finally gave out and my limp body fell asleep in the surrounding outburst.

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I woke up in pitch black and felt around me. I realized that furniture and other things were all around me and I had fallen asleep. The house was now still and calm as ever. I rubbed my eyes and felt a new pain from being crushed under stuff. I groaned as I heaved my body up and tip toed around everything that had been messed with.

I took a quick glance in the kitchen and read the clock on the oven. It read: 3:00am. It was extremely early and I was in desperate need of sleep.

I dragged my self up the challenging stairs to my room and entered. I closed the door and went over to my bed. Stripped off the clothing I was wearing and remained in my bra and underwear. I looked down at me small stomach that ached from famine and all the exposed bruises that were now in perfect view. I brushed it away and pulled my self into the warmth of my bed. I pulled the covers up over me and let me mind ease and relax through all that ventured through it. Sleep overtook me and I drifted away from where pain was. I drifted to a numbness of a dream. A real dream with a familiar visual. One I knew all too well. One I craved.

I


	9. To stray closer

My eyes flashed open and I felt the heavy breathing come on

My eyes flashed open and I felt the heavy breathing come on. It was there. It was real and my skin touched it's pulling and taunting surface. I had another dream, but one with a visual. I saw my cove and the evil waters I loved that over flowed with demeaning welcome and suspicion.

The last thing I could grab from the clouded dream was my self slowly luring towards the tide line with ease and grace, I then took one more step forward as the water came up closer and closer. It matched my pulse again and it lingered nearer every breath I took and beat my heart let escape. And then the tide line effortlessly flowed to my feet and then the water turned black and the sky grew smaller. Then I awoke.

Words couldn't describe that dream. If I could even call it that. I slowed my breathing and calmed myself down with a few moments to relapse last nights events. The earth quake.

I supported my body with my elbows as I lay half up in position but my weak legs still strewn across the sheets. I had to get up and leave for agonizing and ungrateful people, I had to leave this comfort zone. One of my very last. I pushed the sheets aside with a moan out of pain and lack of sleep. My feet touched the floor and I flinched as the dream fled back. It wasn't the black water, it was just the wooden floors of my bedroom. I shook my head and tried to make the black water in my head become distant and forgotten.

The morning went as usual and I took a hot shower to will my soul to go to school and put up with hatred and fear, it was clear that it was not ready to spare me yet. Or never. It seemed waiting for a 'yet' was impossible.

I dressed and dried my long dark curls, leaving them down as usual to hide my story. Or at least keep it more plausible. The curls fell to my face as I took the horrific drag down the stairs and found the living area and most contents of the house thrown about. It was more intense than I thought. There wasn't that many damaged stuff but that memory of me in the dark, trying to fight the rush of objects and surprise came to me in a way I didn't want to remember or let alone think about.

I made my way down the stairs and picked up some of the fallen items. I picked up a picture of me, Peyton, and my father. It was one of us with the house in the background. I could tell my mother had taken it, we all were so young and happy. I felt tears forming. Out of anger I threw the already cracked picture to the wall and watched the frame shatter even more. I didn't care though, I gulped and abruptly stood up.

By force of habit I found myself in the garage again, staring at the pick up truck and nothing else. After all there was nothing else in there to look at. No BMW. He was not here anymore and he was not coming back. None of them were. They all left me in different ways and they were all untrustworthy. Just like the black water.

I turned around and slammed the door. I went to the front entrance and retrieved my bags for school. I didn't get breakfast from my lost appetite that reoccurred much later.

I stood outside not sure if I was getting picked up or not. Troy came to my mind and I let the thought of him flow. And for some reason it eased me.

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**Troy's POV**

I looked at the dark morning skies as I exited my house to my car that parked outside. The dark reveals of the sky reminded me of Gabriella's dark eyes. The way the looked when I questioned her was so indescribable. It was as if she were hiding the world away from everyone and she feared me. I couldn't make sense of it.

But I knew I was worried. Why was she so scared all the time? She hinted around to things and seemed so lost in her thoughts and crucial expressions that when reality came to her she had no idea what tomake of it.

She didn't answer me. She wouldn't. It churned and built up in my mind and allowed no rest, it convinced me that something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

Would I confront her or let it go?

I unlocked my rover and got in. throwing my bags into the passenger seat and starting the engine up as to leave. I couldn't why she was so afraid to tell me. Does Chase know?

Man, if he knew something was wrong with Gabriella he would probably freak out and lose his temper like he always did at night practice. He had the worst temper. Anyone could tell that he did. I felt bad for Gabriella that she had to live with his terrible attitude. It must be hard for her though. But maybe she was smart for not telling him what was wrong. Ugh what am I doing?! I'm sure she is fine. I always think the worst.

I tried to stop it but my mind wondered off more and more as the drive to school took place. I couldn't seem to control it as it grew on more powerful then ever.

I let it take over and left it to travel to Gabriella. My eyes focused on the road but my mind in a completely different area, surrounded by her. And only her. Until my worries flooded into the day dream and it became clouded. It festered harder and longer until it was all thrown to a halt and I froze at the wheel.

To the right of my car I saw a small figure that caught my gaze and stayed fixed upon her. It was Gabriella. She seemed to be walking to school, but why? Didn't Chase always take her? The thoughts of her turned into questions and then I saw her look up and change demeanors abruptly. She didn't move.

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**Gabriella's POV**

I stared at the car to my left and stood still. Not even my thoughts came to move. His eyes were filled with another expression that I never got but he always seemed to portray towards me. Sympathy.

He then rolled the window down and started to speak slowly. It took me a while to answer so he repeated himself.

"Do you need a ride to school?" His lips moved to the words but I felt strangely confused.

Then I opened my mouth and uttered a small word. He leant closer and asked me what I had said. I was too quiet to speak up and a little frightened by his presence. I slowed down my thinking that rapidly sped up again and answered with a faint nod. But it was not what I wanted to do. What if he asked me more? What if he pulled up my sleeve again?

It was risky but I had to get out of this neighborhood in case chase did show up and got angry. I hated when he got angry. It only resulted in one thing, if he got angry; he got me.

I was helpless and he lived to keep it that way.

I dragged myself around to the passenger side of Troy's car and opened the car door with a lot of effort and pain. But I did it. Once in the car he put it back in drive and we drove the endless path to school. Publicity.

I started to breath differently and my vision became blurry and I couldn't regain the feelings that took off so fast that they left me wondering. He noticed and looked at me with his deep curious eyes that made me silence and forget. They caught your attention and after a glance you can't let go. Like a grudge. Once made never broken. Once seen never forgotten.

"Are you okay?" he asked after a couple minutes of us not speaking arose. I shifted in my seat and searched an answer. How many times have I been asked that by…anyone? It always seemed to come up. How could one really answer that without breaking down? I eased up and let out a deep breath.

"Mmmhhhm" I murmured and attempted a nod. It was the least it convincing but I said nothing more. I kept cringing and trying to calm down as thoughts of what chase was gonna do came to me. Why didn't he come this morning?

"Ok you just seem a little scared or something, you can tell me if something is wrong?" he hinted and looked deeper into my dark eyes. I stayed in that trance but quickly turned my head to the window and broke the powerful gaze. What's going on?

I didn't answer him. I couldn't but he went no further and kept on to the drive to school. I am not going to be forced to talk about what happened. It scarred me enough that he found out that even the smallest bruise lied there but now if he figured out how it came to be there, I couldn't stand it. The secret made me stay quiet and compose a someone that was not me. But had taken over me. It took all the effort that I had yet to give. The person was like a monster but no worse than chase. It didn't grab my wrists and keep me in sight just to torture and become helpless.

My eyes followed the road outside of the moving car and they only averted when troy asked me another question.

"Did you feel the earthquake last night? I bet they had a lot of those back in California?" his manner seemed different this time. But he was friendly and welcoming. I wasn't used to it.

I froze as he brought up California but I held the tears in as much as possible. God I missed it.

"Um yeah they did" I whispered and let some small tears escape. My cove came flooding back like the rushing water of the ocean and it swept me into in again. This was much more powerful then the feeling that got the best of me or the beating s I received. It grabbed my soul and tightened it's grip. God please don't let go.

**I am sooooooooooooooooo sorry that I have not updated in forever!! This and TOS have been on hiatus for now, and some other stories in the works! I love u all tho so much! Vote for "beauty and the tragedy" for missefron15's poll! Its such a good story!! Love and peace! **


	10. A Deafened Exposure

The drive to school stretched out in my mind and became longer still

The drive to school stretched out in my mind and became longer still. I felt eyes on me but whenever I lifted my head to glance at troy I knew he hadn't moved and his eyes stayed on the road. It just me losing my mind again and dealing with the truth.

He didn't say anything for a while and then he would occasionally ask me more about California. It was seemingly the only thing he really knew about me, so he kept it to that topic. But he didn't know that that topic brought me feelings and sounds and most of all memories that I wanted to escape from but I stayed addicted to.

I only knew to answer with a nod or a shake of my head or sometimes a barely audible "yes". It complicated my mind to have a real conversation when so many other thoughts rushed through.

"Gabriella? Are you…okay?" I averted my gaze upon hearing my name and looked at him. He had asked me this several times this morning. But how would answer?

"I…um, yes? Why wouldn't I be?" I more asked then answered.

"Well, I just meant is your bruise better? You have to watch out for those lockers right?" he gave a small chuckle but I could sense the doubt in his voice. He didn't believe me at all.

"Yeah I guess" I pretended to laugh but it didn't sound real. I couldn't truthfully answer that question.

"Ok I just wanted to make sure" Troy said to me sincerely and looked deep into my eyes. I looked away when I felt the trance feeling relive and he turned back to the wheel with a small sigh that I wasn't supposed to, but noticed.

The long ride halted as we pulled up to the school. I quickly opened the door before he could help me out and reached back for my bags. I breathed a deep moan when my arm felt pain once more and tried to keep it contained from him. I didn't need more concerns.

"I can help you with those" he asked me with a small smile that was made to comfort me.

"No" I declined "you have done enough" and I grabbed my bags and hurried to the entrance. My legs and everything scorched in pain and I hide it from my face. One thing I am good at is pretending.

Once inside the huge school building I retreated to my locker and stuffed things unneeded inside in a rushed motion. I wanted to avoid troy today as much as possible. That would be hard though.

No one gave me any trouble or condolences here and he didn't have to either. I was better off by myself.

I made my through the people in the crowded halls and kept a lookout for troy and chase. I had to get to homeroom before it was too late. I walked by a classroom and froze.

Inside I saw chase and that unidentified friend of his. They were talking as usual and chase didn't seem to notice me or the guy. Why wasn't he looking for me? What was he planning?

I held my breath and slowly walked by without making a noise. Maybe I could keep staying away from him. I new nothing would be normal ever again, that was long gone.

I finally came to home room and entered the classroom followed by some other students. I took my place in the back and turned away when I saw troy come in. he stared at me but took his seat when the bell rang and Mrs. Darbus came in wearing her usual bright colors. Thank god. I can't talk to him.

Homeroom went by like a blur because I never paid attention and i looked out the window with my hair covering my expressions. My dark curls lay out on my desk and I lightly tapped my fingers.

I pushed the ocean out of my mind but of course it came back and I had to slip off into it and become apart of its ways and currents that took me deeper and deeper…

The bell rang and startled me out of the day dream to where I grabbed my books and escaped the class. I was doing good so far.

The halls got more packed with people every turn I made and tried to ignore foot steps behind me that I heard. After it got to me I spun my head around and saw the guy. Chase's friend. He seemed to not know what to say but he ran the other way and acted as if nothing happened. Why was he following me? Where was chase?

I cringed and a small tear dropped from my dark brown eyes. I wiped it immediately and shook off the feeling and current event. I went to my next class early and sat down in the back once more. I put my head down and closed my eyes. Everything seemed to spin around me in the outside world.

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The next couple classes went by quick as I stayed with my head down and a thoughtless mind that only contained fear at some points and then a mix of my sea.

It was now 4th period and I was scared of that. I started getting really hot under my sweatshirt but I kept it on and made sure the sleeves were longer than usual. I had only some skinny jeans and a tank top underneath. I could not show my once almost porcelain skin now covered with bruises, to anyone.

I was still unsure about facing chase but I could not question it. I had to go or I would be in big trouble. I don't want that, he does.

I exited the room and slowly dragged my self to the gym. I opened the two huge doors and came inside to the large room. It held the cheerleaders and usual team with some by standers that watched the practices.

I took a relaxing breath and moved toward the bleachers. Slowly, as to not ignite the pain, I sat down and rested my things down beside me. I lay strewn across one row of the bleachers and closed my eyes. I was beyond tired and much needed sleep had slipped away from me when we left California. Now I barley ever sleep.

I opened my eyes when I heard the footsteps of the team coming into earshot and readying themselves for practice. I had to look like nothing was wrong when chase came for practice. I shook my head of worries as I got up and settled.

Troy was the first one to enter the gym. He immediately saw me and gave me a big smile. I forced a weak one then made sure no one saw but him.

The car ride still embedded into my head and kept a tight clasp.

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Death is never an easy thing. It doesn't forgive, it doesn't leave you time to take it in and think, and it most certainly doesn't leave you with the right feeling.

And that's all that I saw as chase entered the crowded gym. His face had it all over. Anger, mystery, secrets, lies, hate, and the most dangerous. Me.

I stayed quiet and tried to regain my place in the world. I'd never really had one. I wanted to be strong but falling into his hopeless trap again and again got me to stay in one place and never dare to move. Away. A word I though would come easily. Everything has gone away. My mother, my sister, my father, my ocean, my world. They all left me and never looked back. All assuming I'd be okay and move on without their guidance to lead me from what was going on now. No one ever warned me about this. About what chase did to me. Or about how, off all people. Started to have feelings that I have never known before, for someone else.

Someone who knows nothing about what's happening or why. He wouldn't know to ask or to help. And that was my fault.

They began practice and my mind filled with the water. My water. And it drowned out the basketballs and running and scoring. It stayed with me for that practice and because of that I was about to make a huge mistake. One I would never come back from. Or so I thought.

Once practice was over I didn't follow chase into the locker room as always. Instead I was surprised by troy who came uo to me and actually hugged me.

I flinched and tried to realize what had happened.

"Are you alright? You seemed a little distant." He told me sweetly.

I was stunned. What had I done to deserve this? He was always surprising me. I stared at him for a while and racked my mind for something to say but I couldn't say anything at all. He finally spoke again.

"I'm gonna go shower and get ready for next period. Ok? I'll be right back" he said and then slipped into the locker room. I was left alone in the vacant gym. Everyone left and it was just me and a lone basketball on the floor.

For a second I thought about leaving and just going on to next period even though chase might be angry and troy would be left confused. But then a wild thought cast over me and I did it. I wish I didn't but I did.

I reached down at the edge of my sweatshirt and tuggedit over my arms. Leaving me in a tanktop. Revealing each and every bruise located on my arms and neck. I didn't even care for a minute.

I threw the sweatshirt behind me. It landed on one of the bleachers. And then I walked over to the basketball and picked it up slowly.

I studied it's curves and lines that coursed through it all aligned at the same time. It almost made me feel smaller than I was. I then lifted it over my head and shot a basket for the first time since I was a little girl. Playing on the bay courts with my grandpa before he died.

I shot a perfect basket. It swished right through the basket and then hit the floor with a small thud. I stared at the ball again. It reminded me of the bay I used tostay at with my grandparents. Not far from my cove.

I lent down for the ball that had rolled to my feet now. I picked it up again and was about to shoot when everything I'd ever kept a secret had changed. There was not a secret left. And all of it was gone.

I wish I had heard troy open up the locker door and come out to retrieve me. I wish I never took my sweatshirt off and I wish finally, that I had never been here to go through it. Any of it.

He stood there speechless. All you could hear was our breathing. And then me, dropping the ball.

"Gabriella? What…what happened?" he whispered. His eyes studied my body as they followed each bruise and mark fluently. The ball went flat and stopped its rebound of bouncing by the time he spoke again.

"Who did that to you?" he was concerned.

"I…uh…." My breath hitched. I never thought this day would come. Ever.

**KAYYYYY I HOPE YA LIKE IT!!! Again I am sorry 4 not updating soon but I updated NEVER FAR BEHIND (my zanessa series) and don't forget to checkout my youtube! babynessaKiana206. I got a virtual zanessa story on it! Hehe **

**FOR CHLOE….. I love youuuuuuuuuuuu! 333 and don't 4get to read her story "Damaged" the best story in the world!!!! Ciao!**


	11. A Secret Revealed

**Decided to keep u guys posted =]]]] hope ya like!! Oh and I saw hsm3 for the second time this weekend! I am hoping to make it 3 pretty soon :} hahaha**

His eyes never left me. They either bored into my own eyes or stayed glued the purple bruises. But they looked nowhere else.

My breath took awhile to return but even when it did I stayed silent. There was really no excuse for this, and that had never happened to me before. There was ALWAYS something I could make up on the spot. But never had they been this exposing and scary. My entire mind was blank. I was out of excuses. It was over, all of it. The biggest lie I have ever kept was about to be told.

"Gabriella, please. What happened?" his tone seemed to fill with more concern each second that passed.

I refused t answer. What was there to say? I was actually surprised that it took this long for anyone to notice.

And suddenly I was desperate to tell any soul of the things I knew and I needed that attention, that sympathy. But did I want Troy's?

As soon as the feeling came, it passed and I wasn't sure if I wanted to him to know anymore. So I pursed my lips and my eyes stated to water uncontrollably. It was really happening.

"Who did this to you?" he was now whispering. Even though no one could hear us.

I spoke. I gave him the truth. One that I have wanted to tell forever. I spoke the words I had wanted to since we'd met.

"Chase" I muttered "Chase did this." And with that I fell to my knees with sobs and tears that were n a much need to fall and release they're own angst that had built up and added on.

I swear his eyes turned black with anger and his face hardened completely. He was mad. He was furious. For…..me.

"I can't believe this!!!" troy punched the red gym locker hard then retracted his hand and shook off the pain.

I sat on the bench around the locker area where the team changed for practice. His actions made me cry even harder.

He saw this and sat down timidly. He pulled me close to him as I had allowed him to do when we were in the gym. As soon as I told him I broke down and the tears seemed to push themselves harder. If possible.

For a moment, I let everything just go. I cried and I let him see it. Clearly. I wasn't used to showing _anyone _this side of me. A side that I never knew, still existed.

I stayed in his arms. I have no idea why but I did. I let him shush me and rub my shoulder. I needed this. I knew I did. But for some reason a feeling of paranoia would wash over me as I thought of chase. And how mad he'd be if he suddenly came in and saw what was happening.

I tried everything I could to ignore it and close my eyes tight. Just focusing on the now. I hated it though. I hated the bruises, scars, and all that covered and masked me. It wouldn't go away.

"Um…how long has this been going on?" he whispered. He was calmer now and it helped me to slowly answer.

I whimpered while the words edged to come out but they came.

"Almost two years" I said almost inaudibly.

**(A/N: IDK IF IT WAS MORE OR LESS THAN TWO YEARS! SOOOOOOOO JUST GO ALONG WITH IT! LOL)**

There was the black again. I immediately turned my head away in fear. His eyes scared me when they did that. I had only seen one person in my life look that angry. Chase.

He noticed this and his grip wasn't as tense. His eyes were now they're natural blue and I saw this as I turned to face him. A trance came over me and I felt this urge to bury my face in his chest. So I did.

The tears fled back as they had never left me. He comforted me once more and in his head, I'm sure, he was planning how to fix this.

I had told him everything. From the time we'd met, to when he had started acting different around me and sneaking around with that mysterious person that I had yet to know. He listened. To everything and It wasn't a short story. By the time I had finished it was well into our last period. He had never left and I just didn't care about school anymore. Why should anything matter now? For I knew I wouldn't be alive much longer. That is, if chase had somehow figured out that I'd told someone. His terrible secret.

It didn't surprise me when the last bell rang and I knew the school had to be empty by now. It was later than I thought but it didn't seem to bother him. If it did he showed no expression of it.

I still sat there on the locker bench with troy on the ground leaning against the wall of gym lockers with his head in his hands. Whenever I looked at him I couldn't help but wonder why he cared. I wasn't worth any of this. Not at all. Why was it that he thought so?

"you know we have to do something about this?" his abrupt speaking dragged me out of the depressing thoughts my mind spun with.

"We can't, I can't…no it's to soon" I started getting worked up and rose to my feet, shaking my head furiously.

"We have to. I'm not going to let this continue. No one would Gabriella. It isn't right he needs to be set straight and-" I didn't let him finish.

"What then troy?! Do you have any idea what he would do?! To me?" I whispered the last sentence but yelled the first angrily, maybe for fearful that angry.

"I'm sure he would do worse if he wasn't taken care of" he said darkly.

I froze and he noticed.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to scare you I just, I can't-won't- let this happen or go any further." Troy spoke honestly.

"But it has. He never stops troy..h-h-he never-" I started crying again. The tears welled up in my eyes and cascaded down my face. Troy looked at me with sorrow as if it were his own fault and wiped my tears with the hem of his shirt.

"It's going to be okay. I promise. That's why we need someone else to be involved. This is crucial and I don't want him hurting you anymore." He said lower than usual and I tried to stop my sobs from continuing.

I had to believe him. What he said made me calm down. I was now one-hundred percent sure that I wanted his to end. I wanted chase to be never again, able to be within thousands of miles from me.

"Ok" I whispered "but please not yet, give me time and I swear we can tell someone" I promised.

He looked like he didn't want to agree with that but he nodded.

"You have to promise me that if he even touched you, once, that you will tell me right away. Ok?" but he said it like a demand.

I nodded back with sincerity and took a deep breath.

"I am going to take care of this, of you, I promise you that" he whispered lightly but with force.

"I trust you Troy"

**GOOD?????? I HOPE SO!!!!!! AND AGAIN……….IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING BUT THE "Browse" BUTTON ON MY COMPUTER WASN'T WORKIN 4 SOME WEIRD REASON SO I COULDN'T UPLOAD ANYTHING!!!!!!!!! BUT NOW I CAN! YAYYYYY =]]] REVIEW PLEASEEEE**


	12. Dreaming wide awake

It had been weeks since my revealing. Everyday the bruises got lighter and lighter and I think Troy was pretty pleased, thinking they were gone for good. Yeah right.

That would never happen. And the absolute only reason is because chase was to busy at practice with the playoffs coming up.

I was tired, I didn't sleep much at night. And this terribly confusing feeling began to wash over me. I had someone in my life that actually cared if they were bruises on my skin? But I didn't like that. I didn't want that. Not anymore at least.

I ignored everyone as usual and stayed home from school more and more. Not good. My grades were already falling lower and lower but I didn't want to see troy or chase. For different reasons though. I saw chase enough.

And I was very stupid for thinking that he might have lost interest in my suffering.

"You have been hanging around him, haven't you?!" he slammed me into my bedroom wall.

There were no words to answer with. I was trapped.

"I…chase don't!" but he had already punched my stomach hard. Deep.

The burn of starvation hit again forcefully.

"I knew it. Even after he's been watching you, no one could tell with Bolten. He's good" chase uttered.

"Who's been watching me?" I asked completely distracted. Was this the following feeling I'd had? But every time I looked behind me it was just chase's friend. What did that mean?

"It's nothing you need to know!" he gripped his big hand to my face, holding it to look at him. His nails dug into my jaw line. I whimpered.

"Do you hear me?" he demanded as I closed my eyes. I wasn't in good shape for this. My bones too brittle, my skin too fragile, my stomach too wild with hunger.

"Yes" I whispered, afraid. He dropped his hold on me and I fell to the ground in front of my balcony window. I let no tears escape. Even though my abdomen pained.

"Good. Don't think you've gotten rid of me just yet Gabriella. That will never happen" he shot at me. He stood, towering over my body with a smirk. Obvious satisfaction.

Then he grabbed my sides and slung me over his body once more. He took to the stairs and was down them in a flash. I closed my eyes and tried to breath. My brunette curls cascaded down his back.

He made it to his car and this time, dropped me into the backseat. There must be something else, he was very angry.

I felt my self drift. That wasn't a good idea, I should be awake if anything happened. But then again I guess I didn't really care. I closed my eyes and imagined I was somewhere else.

I was on my sand, the sand that lied under my ocean. That trusting water that my dreams revolved around. I could feel the mist again, that wind in my hair as it blew towards me. I could feel a warm hand grasped around mine. That was odd. No one ever really existed in my dreams.

I was sure that I'd fallen asleep now. But I could not make out the face of whose hand held mine gently. I tried to look past all the fog but it covered it even though we were inches apart. The very first thing I noticed about the hand was that I was not scared of whoever's it was. That eliminated someone in my head.

I finally saw past all the fog and mist to see bright blue eyes. They held me in a gaze.

Troy.

My eyes fluttered open abruptly.

I found myself in a dark room. How disorientating. This room again.

I heard hushed voices whispering outside the bolted door. Two voices. Someone else was

here?

I stared at the shard of light that was coming from under the door. The only source of light. But it was enough for me to see a dried circle of blood on the wooden floors. My blood. From when my head had hit the door. I traced it with my finger and shuddered.

Who knew what type of punishment would take place here again. I shivered and thought back to my dream. Why had I dreamt of troy? That made no sense to me.

I was supposed to be avoiding him. At the least I wasn't supposed to think of him too. The voices became louder.

"…how the hell could you let this happen?! You let Bolten come between this! It's your entire fault!" chase was outraged at someone.

I froze when I heard Troy's last name. He knew. And now did chase know that he knew?

The other voice spoke. It sounded like an apology. I could tell that it came from the other end of a phone line though, not here. It was too scratchy.

But who was getting blamed for me telling Troy?

I froze a second time.

The follower. Chase's friend who'd been watching me. Making sure I told no one and kept it that way. I let angry tears run down my cheeks.

The conversation ended and I heard him punch a wall. And that followed with a clatter. I imagined him throwing his phone.

I sat upright and put my head between my knees. I finally realized why it was bad to tell someone what was going on.

Chase was capable of anything. He'd do whatever it took to silence me. And I'd been stupid enough to accidentally add Troy to that list.

My only friend.

I lifted my head up when I heard Chase come closer the bolted door. I inhaled sharply, sucking in a deep breath and holding it.

Hopefully he'd assume I was still unconscious.

But to my dismay the locks were unhitched one by one until a sudden shard of light entered the room and centered on me. My eyes were hiding the mask of bewilderment I felt.

_Now what? _I thought.

His expression was angry. Why wouldn't it be though, I'd mesed up yet again. Maybe I deserved this. But a feeling inside hoped for Troy's escape. I imagined it in my mind.

_Take me, but please spare _him_. _

No. That'd only anger him more. I exhaled

"You've caused more trouble, it seems" Chase mouth twisted in a strange way.

His true assumption had me wondering what to say.

"I was only…" but my frail voice was lost when I saw the enragement in his eyes. This was it then wasn't it?

He stepped closer and closer until he towered over me. I gaped up at him and held up my head to try and speak but no sound came out. I closed my mouth and closed my eyes along with it.

Let it be over then.

He grabbed me abruptly with iron gripped hands and pushed me against the wall.

I winced.

"You told him _everything_ didn't you?!" he roared. I gritted my teeth and nodded stupidly.

"I cannot believe this!" he struck my face hard "do you _know_ what you've _done_?!" he words were strong and distinct. I tried to apologize but he struck me again, harder, and caught my face in his big hand. I was forced to look up at him.

"Don't you dare think I'll ever forget this Gabriella. Never!" he said to me and then after that I don't know what happened. He must have hit me again.

I could smell the blood. My stomach turned. I couldn't bare the smell.

But the blackness was definitely there. Even darker then Troy's eyes, when I'd told him my story.I thought that comparison was impossible.

I could feel the cold floor beneath my weak body. Was I being dragged? Maybe. And maybe this time I wouldn't wake up. I could stay in my peaceful hallucinations of my beloved ocean. Forever.

I felt another figure present in my dream. Just like last time. The fog was hazy again and I couldn't see whose arms were warmly around me.

The waves crashed around us in the background and the sand felt welcoming.

The fog started to ease out and the figure leaned into me. His sweet breath drove me closer and closer until our lips touched. The feeling was sweet and passionate. I'd never felt this way before. But who _was_ it?

I looked past the fog. Two deep blue eyes stared back at me in awe. I marveled at their beauty until they struck a chord.

Troy.

Oh.

_Troy. _


	13. An irrevocable love

The dreams had gotten out of control. It was every night. And yes, I was by my cove, but there was someone _with _me. And that someone was _Troy_.

It didn't bother me but it was strange. I couldn't tell what the dreams meant, and that was kind of scary.

Chase never let up. I saw those dark apartment walls everyday, sometimes every night. I was there more than my own home. House. No one lived there but me.

Having troy know about all this was very difficult for me. I'd never let anyone in, let alone a stranger. But this time it was just what happened, more so, I was caught. Nobody would be able to explain my bruises and scars. They were self-explanatory.

My back was pressed against my bedroom door. I was alone in the house for once, just sitting there. I glanced at the clock by my bed.

**3:21am.**

The big red numbers flashed.

I couldn't sleep though. Well actually…I didn't want to.

Those repeating dreams were sure to come and I wasn't sure what to make of them. On one hand, they were like heaven. Because I never felt scared. I just felt at peace and when…when we kissed- like we did every night- that feeling was almost enhanced. The way Troy's lips felt against mine were peaceful too.

But on the other hand, I couldn't understand what they meant. Why were we at the cove? Why Troy? And why did he kiss me? No answers.

So I remained sitting on the floor, gaping across the room at my made up bed. The soft sheets were almost calling to me. I was tired but not tired enough.

Minutes passed. I stayed where I was. Then, gently I laid my head on my bedroom floor and sort of just curled up. The next thing I knew, I'd fallen into a deep sleep.

Waves were crashing up against my body, water was spurting everywhere. I couldn't see. I couldn't talk. But I felt safe.

I could feel my toes touching the sand underwater, the familiar way the smooth rocks swept under my feet. The water carried me farther out. It was wild. The ocean was like a storm and I was happily in the middle of it. Happily.

And that was because I wasn't anywhere else. Not near chase, or school, or Albuquerque. Just in the water.

Then I heard a voice. A voice that have been familiarized in my head.

"Take my hand, we have to go underwater." He said. I stared into the blue eyes, almost in a trance then snapped out of it.

For the first time in any of the dreams I was able to ask this question:

"Why are you here?" my voice cracked, and my hair blew behind me gracefully.

Troy's eyes were an even deeper shade of blue. They matched the water. They matched my _cove_.

It took him a while to answer, but when he did, it all made perfect sense.

"To save you." He whispered into my ear softly.

I was abruptly awake.

I sat up quickly, heaving deep sighs.

I knew _exactly _what this dream meant. And I knew exactly what I was being saved from.

It was already light out, a bright Saturday morning. I sighed. This time, just this one time, I wouldn't have minded not waking up from the dream so soon.

I pulled myself up and walked into my bathroom. Stripping off my tank top and sweats and then jumping into a hot shower. It woke me up more. I felt instantly at ease.

But why I let the water run down my back, I thought about the dream. It just wouldn't eave me alone. I'd been so stressed these days I didn't pay attention to anything at all. Just the dreams.

They were like the center of my every thought. My whole focus.

Once I was done I glanced at my phone that was resting atop my dresser. I had five missed calls. All from chase.

"Ugh!" I screamed, throwing my phone at the wall. The battery fell out and scattered under my bed. I clenched my jaw.

I was never alone was I? _This is ridiculous._

I threw on my cotton tank top and some grey boy shorts. Then slid down my door and sobbed.

This was the first time- apart from telling Troy my secret- that I just broke down and let it go. Maybe it was because of Friday. When I started _feeling_ something…towards someone. Someone that was off limits and seemed to always be there when I slept. When I dreamt.

_Flashback_

_I was walking outside in the courtyard, hiding from chase when I bumped into troy._

"_Oh, sorry." His voice sounded smooth. Something I'd never noticed before._

_I didn't speak for a second. But when I did it sounded shaky._

"_Umm it's fine. It was, uh, my fault." I murmured and tried to keep walking. But troy grabbed my arm quickly, stopping me._

_I winced and then tried to compose myself. He'd just pushed his thumb into a dark bruise that had formed along my arm._

_His eyes deepened. _

_He noticed I was in pain. My throat caught and I swallowed hard._

"_Troy, I-" but he stopped me. Pulling up the sleeve of my sweatshirt and gaping at the purple spot._

"_You said it wasn't going to happen again." He said, almost to himself. I felt sick._

"_This is all my fault" he said "I was stupid enough to leave this alone. Not anymore. Gabriella-" he paused staring deep into my eyes. It was just like my dream. Just like when were on the beach. With the waves in the background and his eyes, a blazing blue. I stared back into them._

_This was usually what took place in my dream. Right before he'd kissed me. I slowly leant in. Wanting to fall deeper into his eyes._

_What are you doing?! My mind screamed at me. But I didn't listen._

_Everything that was festering inside my head was gone. All that existed was him. I couldn't place this feeling. What exactly was it?_

_He seemed to lean in to. Was I imagining this? He whispered my name again. But not in a way I would answer to. It was like he was establishing I was there. With him._

_We were all alone now. The bell rang and no one was around us. My heart sped up. I felt lost. I had never had this feeling before._

_His hand wrapped around mine._

"_I'm going to fix this" he whispered "I promise." _

"_Thank you." My voice broke. And for a moment I was overcome with joy. Could this be the end? Could troy really save me?_

_And then that lost feeling was back. The one I couldn't understand. Why did I want to lean in closer and closer. _

_His eyes were so blue. It was breath taking, my breath _was _gone._

_I think I know what the feeling is. And it was clear, with another hard pound of my heart._

_I was in love with him. Irrevocably._

_End of flashback_

I sobbed louder and held my head in my hands. This couldn't be happening. Not now.

My throat was dry and I gasped for air through each sob. I was almost panting. Near hysterics.

This couldn't happen.

But it was. And I couldn't do anything to stop it. Did I even want to?

_No. You don't._

My heart answered for me. I sobbed louder yet again.

This would end badly. I'd drag him down with me and it would all me my fault. I didn't want to hurt Troy. That was the last thing I wanted. But it would happen if we were ever together.

Selfishly I wanted him for _me _though. For a moment I could almost feel that. But I couldn't hurt him. I was already bruised enough.


	14. The Getaway

I hesitate a lot. With people, with thinking, with breathing. Everything. It's almost impossible for me to not over analyze something. I'm always careful to look harder and deeper until I'm fully aware what is going on. But sometimes I slip, and that doesn't work. I fall into these patterns. And I'm stuck there wishing I had been hesitant.

But right now, with newly discovered feelings. I'm scared.

With my back pressed against the locker room wall, my heart pounds. Troy's eyes look even bluer up close. When I get lost in them I have to warn myself to be careful and be _hesitant_.

He's standing in front of me. Almost lost in though but paying attention enough to realize I'm shaking.

"Gabriella" he breathes, "You're shaking. What's wrong?" he seems truly concerned. As his hand folds over mine I stop breathing.

I shake my head mechanically and bite my lip. There are a million thoughts going through my head at this moment.

"I promised you we're going to find a way out of this. I'm not going to let this happen anymore." Troy says firmly. I'm overcome with a deep feeling, maybe hope? But I push it to the back of my mind.

_Don't be stupid, Gabriella._

_The last thing you need is to get your hopes up._

But I want to.

I don't think I've ever believed someone more than him right now.

I didn't believe my dad when he said mom was coming back. She never came back.

I didn't believe him when he told me that New Mexico would be a good thing for us. Look what it brought on; my bruises are proof of that.

But I believed Troy. We might really be able to fix this, to fix _me. _

He's so close to me now, I can feel his hot breath on my face. His scent is overwhelmingly pleasant. And his eyes are even lighter now.

His hand is still safely holding my hand, like his promise.

I'm not sure what's happening. He is getting closer and closer.

We're all alone in the locker room. The red lockers start to blur. My head spins around.

_What's happening?_

Neither of us speaks. He is gazing into my eyes, almost looking for something. I don't know where to look or what to say. So my gaze is fixed upon his eyes.

He's getting closer still; it's like slow motion now.

I have a flashback of my dreams; the reoccurring ones. Where he starts to lean in and then kisses me softly. This is exactly like that.

I breathe roughly and stare deeper into the blue eyes before me.

And then…

He kisses me.

For real, it's not a dream this time.

He finally leant in all the way and placed his warm lips, gently on mine. I don't fight it.

He squeezes my hand tighter and lightly cups my cheek, without breaking the kiss.

I've never been kissed like this before. All thoughts of being careful are gone. I simply feel care free as he kisses me. I don't remember the last time I felt like that.

Every unending nerve in my body is like a live wire. Telling me to stop, but I don't listen. I _can't. _Simple as that. And maybe…I don't want to.

My eyes are pressed closed and I finally weave my hand with his until our fingers are intertwined. I'm almost in shock. This deepening feeling is so calming it's a relief to every pain I've ever had. They have all been cut loose like strings. Tiny, thin strings.

The only thing holding me here now is Troy.

I pull away for air, and as soon as I do I know I'll regret it. But I meet his eyes. They are warm and I lose that fearful pang that has started to form. I immediately want to lean in once more, and this time…not pull back.

So I do.

His lips are even more welcoming and inviting. I'm so lost, I can't remember why I'm even here…here…where am I again? I don't even take a second to care, every fear, every pain, and every memory is washed away like a tide. It's all gone.

I can't remember the last time I felt so light, without being weighed down with the world.

He pulls back this time because I know I won't, even if I did run out of air. His breath comes in sharply, he looks at me temptingly.

And then it all snaps back into place.

I release a gasp of air as everything hits me like bricks. I've just kissed Troy Bolten. _Twice. _I'm surely going to die.

All the pain and a huge amount of fear start to fester up inside me again. Tears streak from my eyes and I jerk my hand away. _What have I done?_

My mind is numb and I turn away from him quickly.

"Gabriella?" he whispers "what's wrong?" his voice is smooth.

"Umm….I…" I can't speak or breathe or think. So I just stand there.

And then I stepped back from him and the tears were falling much quicker. I'm going to die. That was the only thought going through my weak head. How could I hide this from Chase?!

I rubbed the back of my hand across my cheek and ran from the locker room. My stomach heaved and the tears blurred my vision.

_God help me, please help me._

I raced through the halls faster than my legs wanted to go. The school was bare, empty of everyone. It was a Sunday. Troy and I only met here so we could talk privately. Thank god no one was here.

I kept running until I reached the parking lot. He'd called my name over and over, I heard his footsteps following me but they faded away as I charged deeper through the dark corridors.

-----------------------------------------

I slammed the front door behind me. I can't _see_. The tears are everywhere and I have no sense of where I am going. I kick my shoes off, hitting my foot against the wall.

"Shit!" I grabbed my foot and more tears fell. I shook it off and tried to make it up the stairs. My sobs filled the empty house. It was lifeless. I barely lived here.

Once I got to my room I crashed the bedroom door closed, I could hear the frame shake. My body shook with it, the sobs grew louder and my eyes were more and more blurry every moment that passed.

I have just ruined _everything_. And I cannot fix it now.

Why did I feel like this? It's not safe to love someone who is off limits, it's dangerous. But my heart leapt at the thought of him.

"Ugh!" I moaned and threw a pillow at the wall.

I knew I loved him. God it was so confusing. I could not take him down with me. Once Troy was involved, there was no way he could escape. I don't want to ruin is life too.

I felt the scar on the back of my head, from the door knob. I shuddered as I touched it.

Would it always be there? Just like every memory I've ever had to put up with.

The house was quiet. Almost eerily quiet, for a split second I missed my father. But then I was repulsed with everything he'd done. And most importantly, not done. I threw another pillow. I lay in a ball on top of my bed. The tears were streaking across my face and then lightly falling on the silk bed sheets, I watched a trail of them.

My throat was thick and I could barely breathe. I could hear the wind kicking up outside, a storm was coming soon. Rain sounded oddly calming right now, the way it fell. My mood was in the same pattern. I clenched the sheet with my fist as the thought of Monday came into my mind.

_I'm not going. No way in hell am I going back to that school._

And no one was here to force me otherwise. I smiled through the tears as I thought of that. I'm alone. And for once that was good.

But I was alone…here. In this house. I closed my eyes for a moment.

_Where do you really want to be?_

The sound of the waves burst through my ears, the smell of the salt, and the brightness of the blue water and the hot sun came to mind. _That's _where I want to be.

So why not? I thought to myself. Why not just leave right now.

I pulled myself up from my bed. Wiping my tears again, I also brushed my hair away from my face. I took a deep breath and with newfound confidence, I raced to my closet.

Pulling the doors open, I grabbed an old duffel bag and started stuffing random tank tops, jeans, and other clothes into the bag. I threw in my toothbrush and an extra pair of shoes. Then I zipped the bag up and set it on my bed. I pulled the grey sweatshirt I was wearing over my head and threw it on the ground.

I put on a dark grey tank top and some old skinny jeans. I didn't care if it was raining, where I was going, it wouldn't rain at all.

Then I pulled on some flip flops and grabbed my cell phone. And with that I was out of my bedroom and down the stairs.

I paused at the front door for a moment. I didn't have a car. And then I thought of the empty garage. Well…not empty yet.

I hitched the bag over my shoulder and then walked down the inky black hallway. Just then I heard rain pounding down on the roof. Heavy rain. I jumped, it startled me. but I kept on walking until I came to the garage door. I put my hand on the steel doorknob and then opened it. It was very dark inside, I felt my way along the wall until I felt the light switch. I flipped it and then the room became filled with light.

Revealing the lone pick up truck.

I slammed the door behind me and slowly walked towards the rusty truck. I hadn't driven in this since we drove down here from California. I was young and it was before my life here was abruptly claimed.

I ran my hand across its rough surface.

_Perfect._

This car is just like me. It's been used so many times, it needs some serious work. Needs to be fixed, from being broken so much.

I lightly gripped the car door handle and pulled it open, the front seat was deep old brown leather. Along with the passenger seat that sat right next to it. I put my foot on the step and then heaved myself up on the seat. I tossed my bag on the other seat and closed the door. The sound of the rain could barely be heard in here. I sighed in relief.

I flicked the garage door opener on and heard the loud rumbling as it pulled open. The rain came in now, I could hear more. It sounded painful, if you were standing under now.

I was ready to do this.

I turned the engine on and pulled out of the garage swiftly. As soon as the car was fully out of the driveway, I felt a little better already. I watched the door close slowly and then I drove off. The neighborhood houses were like a blur. I was going fast and the rain was even thicker than before.

It rattled on top of the car roof and made me uneasy every now and then, but I kept thinking ahead. Of what I was driving towards. Not a single thought of what I was driving _away _from.

Chase, East High, my father and…Troy, all faded away as I drove off into the rainy night.

**I have to say, I've been planning this chapter since the day I thought of writing this story. Its a big part of this story and I can't wait for u guys to read more. The next few chapters are going to be long and really important!!!! Which is exciting lol. I am so happy for you guys to read it!!**

**Ily allllll sooooooo much ;) thanks for reading.**


	15. Into the Ocean

I drove for miles.

Knowing that I was only hours away from my whole world, made it even easier.

I stopped a couple times so I could grab something to eat or just stretch my legs. I was tired but I had a feeling of exhilaration rush through me. It was exciting. Being so far away from Chase that he could do nothing to stop me, I could go as far as I wanted.

I couldn't remember a time when I'd felt this free. It was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I wanted more. I wanted it all gone somehow.

Even the memories.

The long endless roads were smooth under the huge truck. I was used to the loud engine by now and the rain never let up. I'd been driving for three hours since I left the house.

_I'm almost there, I'm almost alive again._

I pushed the peddle down harder and the speed accelerated. The passing views turned to blurs.

The rain tapped loudly atop the car roof. It made the street ahead hard to make out, even with the headlights on. I pushed harder and the car drove on. I needed to get there fast. I wanted to feel the sand beneath my feet and smell the salt…

_Focus on the road._

The car spun a little, I steadied it and took a deep breath. I was a wreck. My breath came in sharp and it was hard to concentrate on anything. I guess I was a little scared. And I could admit that.

After all I _was _sort of running away. But I had to, I couldn't just stay there and take it. I had to breakaway somehow, and now I was. Finally.

The rain rattled louder above me, and so on the roads seemed blurrier. Then I realized I was crying, it wasn't just the rain.

"Mmmhh." I moaned and wiped the streaming tears. I could barely get a hold of my breathing now, my lungs felt like they were being jolted up and down repeatedly. I took one hand off the wheel and wiped the tears again.

The realization of what I was really doing finally hit me.

My chest heaved again and the surging pain came back. That feeling when you're crying so hard that you can't quite catch your breath. But it hurt. And the tears were non stop.

_I can't go on like this._

So I pulled the car to the side of the road where I was safe, and killed the engine.

Then I broke down, I wrapped my arms around my self so the pain would be eased a little and I leant down onto the steering wheel and sobbed. My face was streaked with tears, and now so was the leather steering wheel.

I was finally getting away and I could barely handle it.

It was late now, I reached for the duffel bag I'd thrown on the opposite seat and unzipped it. Digging through it's contents, my fingers touched the smooth surface of my phone. I pulled it out and glanced at the screen.

**11:52 pm.**

I sighed. I wasn't the least bit tired. That was good I guess. I'd keep driving. I could just keep going and going and not stop.

I dropped the phone back into the bag and sat up straight. I took one deep breath and dried the remaining tears. I was going to be fine. I just had to keep pushing on.

I started up the engine again and pulled out of the side of the road. I was back on track now. It was pitch black, and of course the rain was still falling. But I was ready for it, I was ready to be at my cove.

--------------------------

I could see the sun peeking up from behind the horizon, it was nearly six. I was wide awake. The warm California weather breezed through my open window. It was a sweet relief.

Only a couple more hours until I would be at my ocean. The smell of the sea salt taunted me from the beaches I drove past. It let me know that I was close.

It was quiet in the truck, just me and the hum of the engine. I'd turn the radio on and every now and then, but it got boring quickly. I rather liked the sound of the gulls and the west coast beach waves more than the radio. It wasn't _my _waves. But they still sounded nice.

I loved the fact that East high was nothing but a memory now. I was never going to subject myself to anything like that again. Here, in this truck, driving for miles and miles, made it easy to forget.

Things like my father and Peyton, and Troy. I tried not to think about him, and I succeeded some of the time, but his face came to my mind a lot. I was good at pushing it aside now. But deep down, I longed for him. His touch, his eyes, and his…lips. They were so soft and warm and his hands, the way they clasped around mine just felt…right.

Like how it_ should _be. But did I really know any better?

I pressed my foot down on the gas peddle and the truck picked up speed. Not much was going on around the area I was driving through. It seemed almost empty. It was five more miles until I'd reach the main highway.

Then, from there, after a couple more hours I would be there. And maybe then everything would feel like it was in place.

I wonder if anyone ever bought our old house. With the worn hammock on the back porch and my mother's old garden. When she left, I obsessed over taking care of it. It was like all I had left of her. I wonder if the pool is still there. It had rich blue tiles that always had the paint peeling off of it. Peyton and I used to sit around the pool and scratch at the tiles forever. We thought that something even better was under it.

Or the tall palm trees that cast huge shadows in the yard. They were so beautiful.

It seemed strange that anyone would be living there, in our house. It was newly built when my parents bought it and I was born in the hospital just down the street from it, as was Peyton. That was where I truly grew up.

The sun rose a little higher from the horizon, making it much easier to see my surroundings.

I still remained in my dark skinny jeans and grey tank top. I kicked my flip-flops off and was now barefoot. I'm sure my dark curls were a little messy, even though I hadn't slept, they had to be a little unkempt.

I yawned and looked out my window. The smell of ocean spray was strong. I inhaled with a smile.

_Keep going._

Then, straight ahead I could see the main highway. It twisted along and was semi crowded with cars from the early morning rush.

I pulled onto it from the next intersection and drove on. This was like that last step. This highway would lead me to my hometown. It was really busy today though. Cars sped past me and it was noisy. But I've been on this highway many times and I knew what to do and exactly where I was going.

So I kept my grip on the wheel, I was so close. It was horrible, being so close to something I could almost touch it, but I was restrained by this massive highway.

It was long too, I drove two more hours, all along the windy road. Past houses and buildings. Schools and parks, everything. California was a vast state and where I was going, my small hometown, was going to be a big difference.

And as the two hours of driving dragged on, the towns got smaller, the cars seemed to untangle and not be so grouped together. There was more space on the road.

And to my delight, the palm trees got taller and greener. I was almost home. Thank god. I was almost home.

I grew a little tired, having not slept or eaten for a while started to catch up with me. But I kept going; there was no way I was going to stop. Not now.

Just ahead of me was the last light. It was green so I sped up and drove towards it. And beyond that light, was the road that leads to my town.

The truck raced across the street and under the light, I was so excited I could barely breathe.

And then I was there.

I pulled onto the street and looked around. It was just like I lived here again. The small shops and neighborhoods. The people running around, it was all so happy.

And beyond the town…was the ocean, my ocean.

I released a big breath I didn't realize I was holding and I put my foot down on the gas. I knew where I was going first. There was no place else like it in the world. I rolled my windows down lower and let the breeze blow in along with the strong smell of salt.

That's when I knew that I was right where I needed to be. I parked the car in the sandy parking lot. It was covered in sand. And I turned the engine off.

Everything I had been longing for so much was about to be right in front of me.

I didn't bother putting my shoes back on, so I opened the car door jumped out, then slammed it shut. I took off running.

I ran down the hill that divided the beach from the parking area, I didn't slow down at all. If anything I went faster every moment. My feet flew under me, racing towards the tide. The sand was so soft it was like a warm powder.

It was completely empty here. I smiled. Perfect.

I sprinted faster and faster, my heart pounding. My brunette curls flying behind me and the sand got kicked up all around.

I made it to the edge of the tide. Then I stopped to catch my breath.

_I did it. I was here._

The silent tide came in and soaked my toes; the water was foamy and warm. Then it drew back in.

My feet sunk into the soft powdery sand. I watched the tide come back up, this time much higher.

Then I fell to my knees, letting my jeans get wet. And I broke down.

It was so overwhelming to be here again. I let the tears fall freely this time, I was so happy to be here. I'd done it finally. After everything thing I was put through and after being dragged away from here, I was able to kneel on this beach and feel safe.

This is where I truly belong.

A couple of days ago, I would've never thought this was possible. To be on my knees, the tide coming up so high I was merely waist deep in this water, in this town. If you'd have told me that, a couple days ago, I wouldn't have believed you.

But here I was, my jeans soaked through, so much they looked liked they were dyed black. I closed my eyes and felt the hum of the ocean. The waves crashing onto the shore, making the foamy water look like dangerous rapids. That I trusted nonetheless. I don't think I gave anyone as much faith as I gave this place.

My dark hair blew behind me from the soft breeze. It was around late afternoon now; the sun would set in a matter of hours. But time didn't matter here. At least not to me. I was free as a bird; I could go wherever I pleased now. But I want to be here right now.

I looked out at the light blue ocean. It went on for miles and miles. I love it here.

I stood up from the sand and planted my feet into it. This was a feeling I'd missed so much. But…there was one more thing that I longed for. More than anything.

I slowly walked closer into the tide. I was now in water that rose up to my stomach. I kept on walking, letting the warm water soothe me.

And then I dove in.

I let my body become weightless as I plunged into the warm water. I swam out farther and farther.

I could almost feel my heart rejoicing, and thanking me for listening to it. This is what I wanted.

I let my hair fan out behind myself and my bare arms wove themselves through the water gracefully. Swimming in this ocean is what I used to do everyday. It wasn't as warm as it was when the tide had risen around me. it got colder and darker but I still loved it. It was still _mine_. All of it.

I opened my eyes underwater and looked around for a moment. I could see the colorful seabed and the fish swimming by my side. I didn't care that I was still in my clothes, I swam on and on.

I didn't want to stop. Every time I came up for breath I just wanted to dive back in, deeper.

Eventually I noticed the sun setting and my muscles became sore, so I glided through the ocean water, all the way back the way I'd come.

I crawled out of the ocean on my hands and knees, pulling myself up from the tide line. It had already lowered. I stood up and looked over myself with a laugh.

I was drenched. My jeans were damp and very dark, my tank top clung to my body tightly, and my hair dripped around me like soft seaweed. I was covered with the most amazing water in the world.

I turned around and saw the beach was emptier still, I could see my lone truck in the lot. So I dipped my toes in the water one last time, promised I'd be back tomorrow, and took off running back up the hill.

One I got there I realized I could have parked a lot closer. not even in the lot but in my _driveway._

I left the truck where it was and walked for a few minutes along the sand, leading somewhere I have known my whole life. I used to run from the all the way to the beach, the cove. Because it was so close.

I took a deep breath and steadied myself. I had to compose my self before I saw this.

I walked a little further and then saw two very large, familiar palm trees and I knew I was there.

There, right in front of me, was my old house.


	16. You can never say never

My fingers traced along the front doorknob.

Surely someone else lived here by now, and had taken over the house. It was different. It _had _to be.

But I also had a strange feeling. My jeans were still a little damp and so was my top. My hair was still its natural curly brunette but had an edge of water to it. I bit my lip.

I wanted to enter so badly. To see my bedroom again, and the back porch. The way it led right to the beach.

I took a deep breath and bent down, lifting up the door mat. _Our _door mat. It was still here. And under it my fingers touched something cold and small. I pulled it out.

The house key.

It _was _still here.

Dad always hid it under here, incase we'd gone out and forget our regular key. It was always here, conveniently. So I clenched my fist around it, I felt the burn of aluminum against my skin. It felt good.

I put the key into the lock and just like that it latched open and the next thing I knew I was inside with the door safely closed behind me. I broke down yet again. My eyes filled with tears upon seeing our house. Exactly as we left it.

And it was there, truly.

I never did really remember selling the house at all, but I was convinced it wasn't ours anymore. Or in this case mine. I don't think this placed had even been glanced at in years. It was an old style beach house. It wasn't modern like the new ones on the west side of the beach. But to me it was home.

I didn't have the happiest memories here, but they were all much more livable then the ones that had taken over me in Albuquerque.

And I was overly grateful to be in a new surrounding. Where I was truly happy. With my cove.

I planned on visiting the cove soon, just…not yet.

I walked through the front entryway and saw our dining room. I closed my eyes as memories flashed back to me.

_Flashback _

_I pressed my small body against the wall as I heard a dish shatter._

_They were really angry with each other tonight. I was scared._

"_They're your children too, Carlos! Start acting like a father! God damn it!" My mother yelled._

_I breathed in quickly. It scared me when they fought. _

_I slowly poked my head around the corner to peek at them._

_My mother held a broken dish in her hand and was seething. She looked infuriated._

_My father's expression was lifeless; he furrowed his brow and barely fought back. He never did._

"_I'm trying" he whispered "You are never here." He said, what an excuse._

_My mother's eyes grew in anger she looked even madder._

"_I cannot believe I'm hearing this_! _¿Cómo puedes ser tan jodido desconsiderado? Yo siempre estoy cuidando de ellos! Escucha!" _**[How could you be so fucking inconsiderate?! I'm always taking care of them! You listen!]**_ She prattled off in Spanish._

_I caught every word of it though, even at my young age. My grandmother taught me Spanish very young. Or my "Native Tongue" as she called it._

_I snapped my head back. There was no answer from my father. I didn't breathe. The silence was endless. Tears streaked down my cheeks. I wiped them away. And clenched my little six-year-old fists._

_I would not break down because of them. When I grow up I don't want to be anything like them. I would make sure of that. I would be happy._

_I heard a muffled cry from down the hall._

_Peyton._

_I tip toed away from the dining room and slowly creaked the door to her nursery open. The moonlight filtered in from the creased blinds. I shut the door behind me and made my way through her ting bedroom._

_I pulled myself up the bars of her crib and into it. And then I lay down next to her. I was so tiny I could fit into the crib with her and still have room. I stroked her baby soft head and tried to calm her down._

_She whimpered like babies do, and I kissed her forehead._

"_S'okay Peyton, I'm here." I cooed to her and rubbed her baby tummy. She was so tired. She'd been crying all night. And both of my parents ignored her._

_Her sobs quieted down to little baby noises. She gripped my finger in her small fist and looked up at me peacefully. She was the most beautiful baby in the world._

_Her dark brown eyes matched mine perfectly and her hair was just a little lighter than mine. But she was still very young. And so was I._

_I lay down with her and closed my eyes. The yells and shouts that came from the dining room slowly faded out as I drifted into a dreamless sleep._

_End of flashback._

I shuddered. That was an awful night.

It was I realized that it was me and Peyton.

Against the world.

And that would be hard for anyone to realize at six years old.

I reached out my hand and stroked the paneling of our worn down walls. They were slippery and cracked. There was still an evident dent from where the dish broke on the wood floors. I could see it from across the room. I let my hand fall and walked around from the table.

I knelt down by the dent and stared down at it. My fingers stretched out and felt the small crack. I remember the sound it made when she'd dropped it. It scared me, I was sure someone was hurt and that is when I rushed out and ducked behind the wall.

They were always fighting. Always.

They took all the attention off of me and Peyton, and put it on themselves. Even when we most needed it.

I jerked my hand away from the crack in the floor boards. I needed to keep going on with this and not break down at every little thing. Even though I wanted to.

I stood up shakily and wiped more tears from my eyes, they stung with the saltwater but I loved it. I'd rather have that in my system than anything else.

I walked out of the dining room and back down the hall towards the bedrooms. I let my hand brush against the wall as I walked. Feeling every little mark, crack, and dent that inhabited the foundation.

Then I froze as my hand brushed across something waxy on the wall.

It was crayon.

My eyes ran over the bright yellow crayon, it was a drawing of the sun. it was bright and yellow with a smiley face scribbled across it. And under it were the stick figures of my and Peyton holding hands.

I cupped my hand over my mouth and I sobbed. I didn't expect this would still be here.

It was on the across from my room. I turned my head and met the bright sun rays that spilled into my room through the tangled up blinds.

I walked into the little room cautiously.

It was painted a light blue. Ocean blue.

My small bed was in the corner. It was not much bigger than a small loveseat couch.

It had bars on the front incase I ever fell out and on top of the pillow was my rugged old teddy bear. I grabbed it and hugged it tight immediately.

_Everything _was here.

Across the room were more drawings on the walls. With paint and crayon.

Pictures of me, the ocean, Peyton, and just about everything else. They were beautiful. And ever so brightly colored.

I smiled, it felt nice on my lips. I'd been scowling so much.

I ran my fingers over those pictures and closed my eyes.

I could feel the heat from the sunlight venting through my large window. I opened my eyes to glance at it. I used to pull the blinds up at night, lift the window and climb out of it. Just so I could swim. The ocean is amazing at night.

I had to g back tonight. Just to feel its cool pleasure through the moonlit sky. I peered through the blinds to lookout at the shore.

It was almost fully dark outside. _Perfect._

But I had to see Peyton's room first.

I left my room and walked down the hall to a small wooden white door, and opened it.

It was somewhat dark, the windows were boarded over and it was dimly lit. I looked over the corner where her taken apart crib still was. Dad had never taken it to the attic. A small bed like mine stood where the crib used to. I sat down on it and wiped my tears.

It was so weird having her gone. The last time I was in this room we were together. She was alive and happy.

After she drown I didn't dare go in here and hurt myself with those all too painful memories. I thought I would be stronger now.

I lay down and rested my head and her small worn down pillow. It was soft and still smelled like her. I closed my eyes and tears escaped through the shut lids.

Sometimes I wonder what it would've been like to have a younger sister, growing up.

Someone to talk to. I wasn't the friend type really, I'd never had a best friend.

But Peyton and I were so much more than that. We were sisters and we never held anything back. And now she was gone. And I had no idea where I was going, or doing.

I pulled myself up and walked over to her old crib. The smooth white bars were perfectly intact. I put one side of the crib up, then propped the other up next to it. It was just like it used to be. I smiled lightly and rubbed the bars. I missed her.

I took a deep breath and steadied myself. Then stood up and went back down the hall to the kitchen. A perfect view of the beach. I needed to go back there. And it was time to let this place go. My house.

Minutes later I was back out on the sand walking towards my car, the house key in my pocket. I was coming back.

I reached my car and hit the unlock pad, then climbed in. I shivered violently and grabbed a nearby towel on the floor. Drying my jeans and cold skin. It felt warm and nice once I was driving down the old road, with the windows rolled down. It was amazingly warm here.

My hair now blew around my face, fully dry and ocean washed. It was like home.

I pulled into a small parking lot and stopped the engine, grabbed my bag, and locked the car.

I opened two large doors that led into the hotel lobby and entered. It was beautiful yet subtle. I'd been here a couple of times but never stayed here.

Once I had gotten checked in and my room card I was quickly on the elevator up to my floor. I adjusted the duffel bag on my arm and examined myself in the mirrored elevator. I looked better than I expected for just crawling out of an ocean. I laughed at myself and fixed my hair faintly.

The doors slid open, revealing a fancy looking hotel floor. There was lots of red and gold accents here. I glanced at the closest door number ahead of me.

307.

I was 310.

Just three down the hall then.

I walked on until I found my room and slipped the card into the scan box. It turned green and let me enter. I closed the door behind me. the room was much bigger than I'd imagined. I grinned and threw my bag on the bed. The windows overlooked the beach like the most beautiful painting.

I headed for the bathroom, pulling my jeans of me and the damp tank top. I unclipped my soaked bra and underwear as well, then slipped into a silky white bathrobe the hotel provided. It felt so nice on my skin. The goose bumps went away for good now. I stretched my arms over my head and yawned. Then I remembered I hadn't slept in a couple days, it seemed to just hit me.

But there was no way I could sleep now, with this feeling of exhilaration. I wasn't going back to the ocean until tomorrow since I was so achy, so I opened up the small fridge and took put a small bottle of whisky. Pulling the tab off I put it to my lips. It burnt, but it felt good.

I made my way outside onto the small balcony. I sat down there, looking out at the ocean. The alcohol starting to calm my nerves.

I put the bottle to my lips again and breathed in. For once… I felt _okay. _


	17. The Cove

I awoke at three o'clock in the morning. My eyes flashed open the see the ceiling of the pale colored hotel interior. My heart pounding in my chest and my forehead slick. I caught my breath and closed my eyes.

I looked out at the balcony, the sliding glass door wide open. As I'd left it just hours before. I could see the moonlight flickering over the ocean gracefully. It looked so inviting. And suddenly there wasn't an ache in my body that could deny that black water.

I sat up, propping myself up with my elbows, curiously looking out the door. The sound of waves didn't seem real at all. But they _were_. And that was the most exhilarating thing yet. I was yards away from it now.

I brushed my hair out of my face; the dark curls were softly dried by now. I'd made up my mind.

I slung the covers back and turned the lamp on, shielding my eyes for a moment from its brightness. Then I stepped out of bed and went straight for my bag, pulled my jeans back on and stuffed the bag under a sitting chair. Then I grabbed my room key, flipped the lights off, and opened the front room door. The hall lights were on, dimly, but still on.

I quietly closed my door and descended down the hallway to the elevator. Hoping I didn't wake anyone.

The light flashed for the elevator doors as they slid open, revealing a small maid. Her skin was darker than mine and she wore an apron over her uniform.

I jumped, being startled.

"Is everything alright Ms? "She asked me sweetly.

"Umm, yes. Thank you I'm just fine." I answered with a smile, and stepped into the elevator as she stepped out. The doors closed and she faded away. I fingered the room key through my pocket, making sure I still had it.

The doors opened up into the lobby. It was very still, just a lone concierge reading a book at her desk. She didn't even look up as I fled through the lobby and out the front entrance doors, into the parking lot.

From there I just walked, I didn't feel like starting up my loud and obnoxious truck. It'd wake the whole city.

--------------------

I knew the exact second my feet touched the sand; I exhaled in relief and walked on. It wasn't much of a walk. I followed the crashing wave sound and the light of the moon.

My heart raced and I started to charge at the water. I ran fast and smooth, ready to plunge into the deep blackness.

I could feel sharp sea shells under my feet, but I ignored them. Nothing mattered right now. Nothing at all.

At last my feet were submerged in water. I bit my lips and waded in deeper. And deeper and even deeper.

Until I was once again neck deep, paddling foreword. Desperate to get even deeper.

I turned back and saw the shore much farther away than last time; I couldn't even make out the hotel anymore. Perfect.

I took a deep breath, holding it in, and plunged myself into the inky black water.

I could see nothing.

But of course, that did not matter the least. Because I could feel _everything_. And that was enough. I fanned out my arms and stroked foreword into the sea. My legs kicking through the dark. It was amazing. I couldn't tell if I was going backwards on forewords but I simply didn't care.

To me, it really didn't matter right now.

I resurfaced with a gasp, and caught my breath. My throat burnt a little, but in a good way. It reminded me of why I loved this place. It wasn't dry like New Mexico, it was warm and the water was so close you could touch it easily.

I breathed in again and held my breath before capsizing myself under the sheet of water. This time I plunged even deeper, I think I was headed towards the bottom. I kept going and going. Excitement rushed through my veins. Chasing away the fear that lasted for a couple minutes. I felt the water grow colder, and if possible, even darker.

_That's odd_.

I thought to myself. Where was I going then?

I kept swimming, pulling myself down with my arms. Winding through the water faster every minute. And as I swam on, it got even colder. I couldn't see my hands fluttering in front of me, it was so dark. But I ignored that and went on still.

I heard deep sounds, like waves underwater. And they sounded close too. I could hear the musical song of a whale. But that had to be farther away I told myself. No way could I be that far out yet. Or could I?

Shivers ran through my submerged body, along with more excitement.

It was when my hand touched something too smooth, too slick, and _moving_, that my mouth opened.

What was that? My mind tried to function through the cold.

I was out of air completely.

Panicking, I kicked my legs hard and tried to push my body towards the surface.

_Wherever that was._

I compelled even more; my lungs were burning with the loss of breath, just a little bit longer. I told myself.

Almost there.

I could almost see the tint of the moon above me now.

My lungs were on fire. And I felt myself convulsing. Begging to breathe.

That's when I hit the surface and gasped. I inhaled deeply as my wet hair flew behind me like seaweed, tangled.

The fire stopped and I could breathe again. That was close. But I could trust these waters, and myself. More than anything.

------------------------

I crawled out of the tide on my hands and knees. Choking up water. I rubbed the sat away from my eyes and coughed. Feeling it deep in my throat. It burnt like flames.

I stood up shakily; I could see a faint light over the horizon. How long was I underwater?

It could've been hours. It felt that way anyways. I steadied my breathing and combed my hair with my fingers; it was just like the seaweed. I stretched my arms over my head and yawned.

Then made my way back to the hotel.

By the time I got there a faint sunlight started to spread through. It must have almost been five in the morning. So maybe I wasn't gone too long. The elevator was warm and made the shivers go away. For five o'clock in the morning I was pretty awake. Must've been the cold water. It was so refreshing.

The doors to the elevator opened to my hallway and I stepped out. When I reached my room I patted my pockets. The key was still there. Thank god.

.

I pulled it out and swiped the card through the scanner. Once inside, I slammed the door closed and rushed to the bathroom. I turned the shower on and peeled of my clothes. Stripping down to my underwear as I pulled that off too.

I stepped inside the hot water and let it run over me. I exhaled in pleasure. It was so warm and calming. I let the salt run out of my hair and scrubbed it thoroughly with the shampoo. I turned the nozzle off and stepped out. Wrapping a fluffy towel around my soaked body.

I dried myself off and put the whisky bottle back in the fridge, now half empty. That explained my sleepless night.

Then I put on some different jeans and a new tank top. It was too hot to wear anything else here. My hair had successfully air dried and was trickling down my back, the long brunette curls. I threw the disposed towel in the corner of my bathroom and sat on the bed.

I stared at my cell phone in my hand. No way was I going to turn it on now. I could picture it in my head, millions of calls and messages from Chase. Yelling at me, threatening me. And maybe even Troy.

I shoved his name to the back of my head again.

And I threw my phone across the room. It hit the wall with a soft thud, it was still intact though.

I was not ready to face that just yet, I was happy to be out of touch with the world.

I heard the sound of the waves outside. It was as if I hadn't swum yet, I had to go again. But this time I wanted to go to the cove. To my cove.

My heart sped up and my breath caught, was I strong enough for this now? Could I handle it? I had no idea but I knew I wanted to go. I sat up abruptly and brushed my hair away from my face. I picked up the key card atop the bathroom counter and left the room quickly.

I must have looked strange, rushing across the lobby back and forth. To the ocean, then back to room. Again and again. But this time was so different. This time I was going somewhere that I had longed for and dreamt about since we'd left.

I didn't bother to take my car again, once I got to the ocean my legs started to ache. From all the running and swimming. But I didn't want to end it. I would keep doing this. I had to.

My feet sunk into the sand as I slowly made my way towards the cove. It was very hidden and not many people knew about it. That was what I loved about it.

I passed the large rocks that seemed to guard the small opening, passing them I climbed up the big boulders and accidentally scraped my arm on the sharp point of the jagged rock.

"Shit, ugh." I moaned cupping my arm. It started to bleed. I closed my eyes and put it out of my head. That wasn't important right now.

I continued climbing. Until the rocks ended and I was now walking on a very slim strip of sand that rounded the island. Right under it was the cove.

I slid down a chain of rocks, holding onto them for life and then I gently felt my feet touch the sand below me. I let go and jumped onto the ground, lining the cove.

It was breathtaking.

The water glistened turquoise blue and the sun rays were bright against its color.

The weather was warm and soft against my tanned skin. I closed my eyes and let it touch me.

I was ready.

I crouched by the edge and looked deep into the water.

My eyes gazed down, then I clasped my hand over my mouth as something silver caught my eye.

Tears started falling from my eyes and I whimpered. There it was.

The silver chain bracelet that I had given Peyton when our mother had left. The tears increased as I hit realization. This was all real. It was not a dream.

I remember the summer that my grandmother gave me that. When my father couldn't handle Peyton and I, he would send us to grandmas cottage by the bay. It was old and the color of butterscotch. She raised her family in it and I loved being there.

I guess my father didn't feel as strong, raising us without mom. But we were too young to realize that.

Grandma's bay was nothing like our cove but I swam in it just the same. One night after Peyton was fast asleep in the old wooden cradle that my grandma saved for all her grandchildren, we sat out on her porch while she rested in her rocking chair with a cup of tea.

I laid below against the chair as we listened to the waves. Our favorite sound. When I think about it now, maybe she was the only one that truly understood me.

We stayed quiet for most of the time but she would pick me up and tell me that I _was_ appreciated, even without my mother. God knows how much I needed that.

No one ever told me that but her. And that was eleven years ago, but that night she looked deep onto my eyes and said, "Ella, I want you to have something that got me through a hard time like you've been through."

I sat up a little higher in her lap and she pulled up her arm that was around me.

She pulled her sleeve back, which revealed a small silver chain with a diamond charm on it. The charm was in the shape of a swirl, she told me it meant water.

She gave it to me because we both were emotionally attached to the ocean. But until that night I had no idea that I wasn't alone. The only thing she didn't tell me was what she went through that somehow related to my situation.

After that she unclasped it from herself and applied it to my small six-year-old wrist.

I did everything with it. I swam with it on, slept, everything. I never took it off. I even comforted Peyton with it when she was missing mom. But one night back at home she cried endlessly and I knew why. So I did what I always did. I tip toed into her room and climbed the bars of her crib quietly.

Then I whispered words of love into her tiny ear. I gently put the bracelet on her wrist, and she stopped crying immediately. I let her keep it for the years that followed she never cried again. But one day she decided to swim in the cove, by herself. I had fallen asleep on the hammock, under a palm tree on our back porch. My father was absent as always today. Off somewhere we didn't know.

I remember water being splashed more than usual, I could hear it subconsciously.

And I could hear Peyton's voice. She was calling my name repeatedly, panicked it sounded. And then she started calling for mom, it alarmed me that something was wrong. But she called for our mother, who we hadn't seen in years, so I convinced myself it was a dream.

I had just turned twelve and Peyton was seven going on eight in a few short weeks.

I awoke quickly, startled. Maybe it wasn't a dream. I got up and rushed to the tide line, but I saw no one and nothing.

So I made my way to the cove, again it was empty, I knew for sure that the voice came from here though, so where was she?

Two hours later I sat at home on the deck, watching the waves crash. Peyton hadn't come home yet.

I began to feel more and more scared. What if she swam out to deep and couldn't get back? But it was all answered when my father came home, stepping onto the porch, soaking wet. With the most solemn look you could ever see.

He finally spoke. His voice breaking.

"Peyton drowned in the cove today." He whispered, his eyes slit.

And that's when he stopped talking to me.

I stared at the bracelet, under the cove waters and gasped. I had to get it. It must have fallen off her wrist when she was…struggling.

I flinched at my own thoughts and cried even harder.

I dipped my bare feet in the water and calmed my nerves, I was going in.

I let the cove wash me away joyfully. I had missed this. I slid myself off the edge and sank into the water. It was colder than yesterday. I shivered.

My eyes adjusted to the water quickly and I swam down, it got a little darker but I could see everything. Even the thin trail of my wound, bleeding through the water. My body soaked through the water as my hair fanned out again. My fingers felt the soft silver. I scooped it up in my hand and squeezed it.

I clasped it around my wrist. It still fit. Impossible.

But it did, I marveled at it. It was just as beautiful as ever. And now I had a piece of Peyton with me forever.

My lungs started to burn, but I wanted to go further. Surely they would hold a little longer.

I swam from the cove a little, my arms wove through the water gently as I pushed my way through. It got even colder as I bent deeper. Into the deep.

Until I saw a sheet of light directly in front of me. I swam towards it.

It was a small opening that led to the ocean, I swam forward into the small porthole. I slinked through it in record time, gliding. And felt the water of the ocean rush through my hair. My lungs were like a burning band, squeezing my ribcage.

Just keep going, Gabriella. I told myself.

But it hurt; I groaned uncomfortably but kept swimming. My vision started to blur. I haven't been breathing for over three minutes now, they were on fire. Closing in on me. I had to stop swimming to gag. All there was, was water all over, everywhere.

I was close to the tide but not enough. I started to struggle, and then…

Everything went black.


	18. Once Profound

I've had many near death experiences.

Ones with loud sounds and colors. Or sometimes quiet and dark.

But none were quite like this.

I was aware of my body being pulled through the dangerous current. Swishing me around like a rag doll. But I couldn't move myself. I couldn't see. And I couldn't _feel_.

But I could taste. The salt in my mouth. Deep in my throat and my nose. Blocking off my airways with its water.

And the blackness was defiantly prominent. But was I awake or not?

I was thrust through the cold water again until I hit something. Hard.

It all went black again. Everything cut off. Even taste.

I was sure I was dead.

And then…

Something wrapped around me. Tightly, and pulled me a different direction. Was I being dragged down deeper?

It kept grip on me protectively, never letting go once. Light streaked through my back vision. But nothing was clear. I must still be underwater.

Maybe I really was dying then.

At that moment I broke the surface. I just knew it. But I still couldn't see anything.

That's when I heard him.

"Just hold on! You're going to be fine!" he shouted.

I felt my back press against something. Gravel? Were we on the cove entrance already?

I was sure that I was lying down. In the sand right by the cove mouth, I could just feel it.

Suddenly I felt pressure on my chest. Hands pushing. I could hear him whisper numbers to himself. Counting.

And then another hard push. That was all it took.

My eyes flashed open. My mouth coughed up the saltwater. My back felt the pain off the rocks under me. And I heard the waves in the background.

I coughed up the rest of the water. My throat burning from the salt. It was all so disorienting.

And then I looked up into two beautifully colored blue eyes. My elapsed breath caught in my throat again.

Of course.

Troy.

His expression was so worried and panicked. His face was harsh and he looked terrified. It must have not been as bad as mine though. I felt horrible.

"Are you okay?" he asked me loudly. Supporting my neck.

I started to breathe again.

Burning pains shot through my throat as the air entered. It _hurt _to breathe. I tried to close off my lungs as much as possible. Only taking that painful breath when absolutely needed. I didn't know how to answer him.

_Was _I okay?

I honestly didn't know. I felt the silver chain on my wrist. It suddenly weighed a thousand pounds and I couldn't lift my arm or any other part of me. The only thing that moved was my heaving chest. And those painful gusts of air that stung my throat.

"I'm 'kay." I tried to say. My voice was raspy and sounded far off. Did he hear me?

His features changed. He looked solemn. And like he didn't believe me.

How long was I under water? He saved me. So in a way, I was perfectly fine.

"Troy…" my voice rasped out. I tried to reach for him but failed. My arms were liked iron blocks. Locked to the ground. Every muscle in me ached.

He reached down to me instead. To brush my hair from my face. It stuck to my forehead, all matted and soaked. And to gently stroke my cheek. His hand lowered to my lips. He traced them.

"Your lips are blue, you must be freezing." His voice was worried again. Truly concerned.

It was ninety degrees outside. But I was shivering from the cold water that the cove hid.

His eyes followed mine. And he pursed his lips.

Then he scooped me up and settled me in his arms. I buried my face in his chest. Grateful for the warmth. He climbed back up the cove walls with me, and over the jagged rocks where I'd cut my arm. All the way to the beach again.

I shook with the cold, my clothes were soaking wet as was my hair.

He walked up the beach slowly. Carrying me like a small child. I opened my eyes every know and then. Were almost to the parking lot.

Then realization hit me.

_Why was he here? How did he know where to find me? _

They spun around my head, making me dizzy. I would have to remember to ask him later.

We made it up to the parking lot where his black car was set. He opened up the passenger door and set me down on the seat gently. He put the seatbelt around my shivering body and closed the door.

He got in on his side and started the engine. I felt the heat turn on and started to feel more human as he dove on.

"Where are you staying?" he asked me quietly. He sounded like he was in pain. Or just extremely concerned about something. _Me_?

"The Palms Hotel." I answered. My voice was scratchy. It sounded hoarse and tired. I wanted to sleep.

He turned down another road and pulled into the resort parking lot.

He killed the engine and got out immediately. Then he got me and locked the car. He scooped me up again. My legs weren't working yet.

He walked through the lobby quickly and got us into the elevator.

"What floor?" Troy asked again. He still sounded worried. But his voice made my heart speed up.

"Five." I answered. Practically inaudible.

He pressed the "5" button and the elevator jerked to life. I felt it carrying us up higher. It churned my stomach. I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten. Just that bottle of whisky. Thinking about it now made me feel sick. All I could taste was salt water.

The elevator made a high pitched bell sound and the doors slid open.

I pointed him to the direction of my room and he walked us down until I told him to stop. He set me down very carefully in front of my door. His arms wound around me to keep me from falling. I propped myself against the wall. Then handed him my keycard.

He swiped it in and the little light flashed green.

He swept me into his arms once again, even after I protested and opened the door.

Then closed it softly behind him, I barely heard it click.

The room was warm. The curtains flowed in a soft breeze and my bed had been neatly made.

He gently set me down on it. I lay there and looked up at him. My body was so sore. And it hurt to keep my eyelids open.

"Troy, I'm all wet." I said hoarsely. He smiled sweetly at me and sat me up.

"I'll help you, unless you don't want me to." He said looking into my eyes.

"Please, I can't…move." I whispered. I started to take my shirt off but my arms ached. He reached for my shirt, cautioning me with his eyes and gently pulled it over my head.

Leaving me in a soaked pain of jeans and a black bra. But I was grateful for his help. My thoughts were so messed up and crazy in my head that I barely realized what I was doing. Or what was going on. Troy Bolten was _undressing _me. I was too far gone to even move. But it somehow didn't matter.

I simply didn't _care_.

He helped me with my jeans and underwear. As my clothing came off I began to feel even colder. I shook violently as he picked my bare body up again. I shivered into his chest. I was freezing.

He walked into the bathroom and turned the faucet on the bathtub on. Hot water poured out and began to quickly fill the tub. It looked so inviting. It made me even sleepier just looking at it.

With me still in his arms, he pulled a fresh white towel down from the shelf and set it down on the counter. Right next to the bathtub which was now almost filled.

He hugged me closer as I shook.

_Was the room moving?_

No, that must have been me. I could hear my own teeth chatter.

Troy reached down and turned the faucet knob off. The water cut off. And the bathtub was now completely full.

He kneeled down on his knees and slowly put me into the bath. The hot water came in contact with my ice cold skin and instantly relaxed me and my nerves.

I closed my eyes.

It felt nice.

He set me into the tub completely, his blue eyes were smolderingly longing. I wanted to stare into them all day. He looked like he wanted to look into mine too. Every time we caught each others gaze, I felt my cheeks burn red and he'd smile this crooked smile.

He helped me wash my icy body. Grabbing the extended shower head, he lightly poured the warm water over my head and made the salt wash away.

I drifted in and out of sleep constantly. I wasn't sure if I was actually sleeping or just spacing out.

I'd open my eyes half way to see him smile at me lightly and gently wash the salt from my body. I felt warmer in the water. It surrounded me as I tried to fall asleep again. I felt his smooth hands brushing against my arms, legs, face and it made me relax even more.

I felt my matted hair flow in the water and he brush is fingers through it slowly. Unknotting each curl. My breath became heavy. I became sleepier.

I heard a deep tearing sound, I opened my eyes. It was just the drain. The water started to lower around me and drain out the large bathtub. Once it left me I felt cold again.

Troy helped me sit up and then gripped my arms. He gently pulled me out of the tub and already had me wrapped in the fluffy towel. I felt the warmth come back. I could almost stand up on my own now.

I stumbled as I tried to walk out to the room. He gripped my waist and steadied me.

"Be careful. Maybe you shouldn't walk yet." He whispered to me. I took a deep breath and tried again.

"No…wan' to a' least try." I mumbled out incoherently.

I tried again and stumbled into the door fame. He caught me in time and scooped my up against his chest again. My legs were completely numb.

He walked out into the hotel room and once again set me on the bed.

I watched his chiseled features as he dried me off. The way his lips pursed as he did. The worry and pain had yet to leave his face. He rubbed the fluffy towel against my skin and soaked up all the water leftover.

It dawned on me that I should feel uncomfortable. But I didn't. He was taking care of me like I was a small child. But I didn't even mind it. He was _here _with _me_.

And I knew I could not argue with that. I like it.

And I couldn't move, let alone think about what I was doing. So he really did help.

"I'm sorry, you must be cold. I'll close the balcony door." His voiced sounded like velvet. I nodded once and lay back down on the bed.

He slid the door closed and closed the curtains. The room was a little dimmer but I felt the breeze stop abruptly.

He came back over to me and helped me up.

"Troy…'want sleep." I tried to say as best as I could. My throat burnt whenever I talked. And it was still raspy.

He smiled at me, it touched his eyes.

"Of course, don't worry. I'll let you sleep, Gabriella." He cooed to me in a far off voice. I seemed to be drifting again.

He looked around for my clothes but couldn't find them. I'd forgot I hid them under the chair. I tried to tell him but my voice made no sound.

He was already pulling his shirt off.

Troy's bare chest was something you could only imagine. It must have been the effort he put into basketball. It was perfect. I was glad my arms were numb or I would've reached out to touch him without even realizing it.

He put his T shirt over my head and pulled my hair out of the collar. He stood back a little, his eyes lit up the slightest bit. Was that good?

His clothes were warm. They smelled like him and enveloped me with a sweet scent and feeling.

He threw the towel in the open bathroom door and walked back over to me.

His arms reached out and he pulled the sheets back from the bed. Then Troy helped up and into the covers. He motioned for me to lie down. I did, and he covered me with the soft sheets. I was thankful for the bed, I could finally sleep now. My muscles relaxed as I lied down.

He climbed onto the bed and lay beside me. He was careful not to lay on me accidentally.

"You look very tired. Do you want me to help you fall asleep?" he whispered. We were both lying on our sides, facing each other.

"I don't…wan' you leave me." I said quietly, my voice still thick and rough.

"I promise I will not leave you." He smiled, fully. The smile that seemed to be engraved in my mind now. His words made me feel secure. I smiled back at him.

My vision started to blur out and I felt myself begin to drift. And I could feel his tender fingers. Brush my hair away, and hook it behind my ears. I felt him sweep his hand across my cheek tenderly.

My eyelids closed. And I succumbed into a heavy sleep, Troy still at my side.


	19. Unaided to Persue

I felt something shift at my side abruptly. I opened my eyes with extreme effort to find Troy. Asleep at my side. He didn't leave me.

He looked like he hadn't moved since he'd put me to bed. I smiled lightly. He still bared his chest; I remained in his warm shirt. He was spread out on the bed. Fast asleep.

I pulled myself up and bit my lip. It hurt. Everything hurt. My arms and legs were just the beginning.

The light was still on full blast. But it didn't bother me, what time was it then?

I turned my head slightly and peered at the room phone. 3:16 AM.

How long did I sleep? I tried to sit up further, but my muscles didn't agree. So I pulled the covers back and gently lifted my legs. So slowly, until I felt the carpet beneath my feet. I was sure to be quiet so I didn't wake Troy.

I turned around again. Just to look at him. I still had to ask him my questions. Before I forgot them.

Then I leisurely stood up and steadied myself. That was an improvement. Now hopefully I could walk on my own. I held onto the night table for support and started to make my way across the room. I didn't fall, but I stumbled a couple times. Better than having my legs numb.

I got all the way to the sliding door. I tried to silently slide it open, and before I went out onto the balcony I switched the bright light off and let troy sleep.

It was dark outside. The only lights on were ones far off into the city. They were beautiful. I sat down on one of the lounge chairs and laid back my head. The ocean was quiet tonight. Peaceful.

I kept the glass door half open. And I closed my eyes. Trying to relax my muscles, but they were tense. I opened my eyes and sighed. It was hotter out now. I couldn't believe I was shivering before.

The heat was nice. My hair was dried from the bath earlier. I thought back to that. How tired I was. I could barely move. And then Troy…

He'd helped me.

But I wanted to know _how_. How he knew where I was. And that I was in danger and needed his help. Any help. But he was there, right when I needed him to be.

My mind felt clouded over. It hurt to keep processing all of this. But I needed to know.

I _wanted _to know. And it wouldn't be hard to ask him. I just felt almost embarrassed, like I should've known but I don't.

He was still fast asleep in the hotel room. I stretched my legs out on the car and winced. I would do anything for some pain reliever. All the kicking and struggling in the water made my whole body numb.

I started to feel the cold feeling creep over me. I wasn't fully recovered.

I heard a slight creak from the door and opened my eyes and turned towards it.

Troy stood in the open doorway, his hair messy and his chest still bare. He rubbed his eye and smiled at me. My heart stopped and I reminded myself to breathe.

"Hey. Are you feeling better?" he asked my calmly. He walked over to me and sat at the end of the lounge chair.

I nodded and returned him a soft smile. I wasn't completely better. But as I nodded, I saw the look of worry; ever so slightly leave his face a little.

"Yeah, thanks. For everything." I said to him, shifting so I was sitting up.

"You're welcome, Gabriella. Are you sure you feel better?" he mused. Looking deep into my brown eyes. I bit my lip. I didn't want to see that pained look on his face come back.

"Yes. I'm much better." I lied to him, looking down. Something I did when I lied. Of he wouldn't know that.

He grinned at me. The pain was no where to be found. So I smiled back.

"Why don't we go into the room? It's getting pretty humid out here." He said and reached his hand towards me. I stared at it for a second. And then extended mine to him as well.

I stood up and followed him inside.

I sat on the bed cross legged and looked at Troy. He sat down opposite of me. The TV had been turned on; I could hear the almost silent hum of it in the background. He looked up at me too.

My questions started to bubble to my lips. I tried to clear my head for the most important one.

"Troy…" I started. Looking right at him fearlessly. I needed to know this one.

"How did you know I was here?" my voice broke. It didn't come out as confident as I'd planned.

"I…I followed you here." He answered. Looking down at the bed sheets.

"You followed me?" I asked. Not sure what to think.

"Yes. I wasn't sure you were safe. And when you ran out of the locker room like that I didn't know if…if you were, going to be okay. Or if Chase–" I shuddered at his name "Had gotten to you. Gabriella I couldn't…I don't know what I'd do if he'd hurt you again like that." Troy's eyes darkened whenever he talked about Chase. They started to blacken now. Then he looked up at me with remorse. Like he was _sorry_.

"Troy I…it's not your fault. And I didn't mean to run away from you I just couldn't face what…I'm not…" My eyes started to tear. I didn't know how to word this and Troy thought this was _his fault_.

"Hey, Gabriella." he wiped my falling tears and gently moved the hair that fell into my face.

I took a deep breath and felt the hem of Troy's shirt that I wore. I needed to get this out. To go on.

"I'm sorry I ran out. I just had to leave before Chase found out about you and me…and how I-" My voice shook and more tears started to fall down my cheeks "How I…felt about you. I was sick of being careful, I didn't want to get hurt anymore, so I…just left. And I just needed to be _here_. With the ocean and everything I know, but then I made a stupid mistake and…I just kept swimming and even though I knew I couldn't, I just kept holding my breath and trying not to let go. But I did. And then _you_" I whispered as I looked deep into those blue eyes "You were there. Right when I thought I'd never breathe again. Or…get to see your face. You showed up." I said shakily, his hand never left my face. Even after the tears slowed. I couldn't help but lean in just a little.

He was silent for a moment. Letting what I'd said sink in. I waited. On edge, my mind was still throwing questions at me. His eyes were a soft blue; a shade I don't think I'd ever seen before.

"Gabriella. When you kept going down to the beach each time I had to make sure you were alright and…that…you came back each time. And then the cove…I knew something was wrong when you'd gone all the way down there. So I kept close and made sure you didn't get hurt" he said with a sigh and reached for my arm, he lifted up the sleeve and revealed the narrow cut I'd gotten from the rocks "But obviously, I can't prevent everything."

"I tripped." I said almost inaudibly.

"That's what I thought" he said shaking his head. Then went on "But then you just dove in and started going to the bottom, as if purposely. You were down there for a while" the pained look almost surfaced to his face "So I…I waited. But you never came back up. I started to panic and I didn't know if you were alive. So I knew I had to get you. I went in through the cove entrance and swam towards the ocean, where I was almost certain you'd gone. I couldn't…you were…" he closed his eyes and searched for what to say "I couldn't _find _you. I wasn't going to give up. I kept swimming and looking for you. Until I hit the current. And there you were. You weren't conscious, the current had very much had its way with you and I grabbed you. Then swam up to the surface. You almost…almost opened your eyes. But you weren't awake just yet. So I got you back through the cove mouth and tried to wake you up. You wouldn't" his voice strained and he touch my hand "You wouldn't _breathe_. I did everything I could until you were okay again. I got your heart beat up again and you were able to speak, but you seemed distant and scared. I had to warm you up before you very well froze to death. So I brought you back here and now…" he trailed off and looked at me. His fingers brushing up against my hand.

My eyes looked up from our hands and met his.

"And now, I'm alive. Because of you." I said, finishing his sentence.

He sighed again. I know I'd thanked him a thousand times but I needed to again and again, he saved me. From what I thought would never turn on me. the corners of his mouth turned up a little suddenly.

"How you _felt _about me?" he smiled. Catching what I'd said earlier.

"Yes…" I said slowly. He grinned again. And his fingers leafed through mine to grip my hand. My heart beat was speeding up.

"Ah." He smiled, like he had finally figured out some hidden message. I breathed in heavily.

It finally clicked. Oh. He must've been confused this whole time about _us_.

"Troy, you must've known that all along." I said, gently. Lifting our hands slightly.

"I think I did, but I…wasn't sure." He smiled. I blushed at the way we'd just narrowly avoided the word.

He slipped his hand out of mine and brought it up to my cheek. His fingers slowly brushed down my face.

"And _that's _why I followed you here. And stayed close to ensure you weren't to be harmed." He said, admitting his answer so that everything I'd needed and meant to ask was cleared up.

I was speechless. My heart was pounding through my chest; I swear I almost could hear it. I had no more questions. None at all. But I'd been given only one answer that I think I knew all along.

His hand still rested at my cheek. He traced my face again. I almost closed my eyes in contentment. I forced them open to look at him. If I had my answer, then why did I feel like we were still avoiding something?

He pursed his lips again. I realized he was waiting for me to speak.

So I just smiled, and ignored my heart beat. It was loud, to me at least.

I folded my hand delicately over his, still on my cheek. Holding it there for just a moment longer. I felt like we were finally on the same level. But my heart ached, still longing for the cove. The water that almost killed me. I still didn't see it that way.

It had been _my _fault for thinking I didn't need to breathe. And it was my fault to keep swimming on. So I had nothing against the water. It was still a safe haven.

Troy's lips curled into a smile at my expression. I was still in thought.

"What?" I asked simply, nothing to detect in my voice.

"Nothing." He laughed. "What are you thinking about?"

My starved stomach growled. I hadn't eaten in days. I bit my lip, caused by the dilemma. I still needed to ask him one thing. But I guess it could wait. So answered differently then I'd planned.

"Umm, could we…eat?" I asked. Half embarrassed. He laughed at my expression again.

"Of course, I'm hungry too. Why don't we order something up?" he suggested casually. That sounded perfect. Anything sounded good. I was completely deprived.

I nodded enthusiastically. He dropped his hand and turned his body around, reaching for the hotel menu booklet. He handed it to me first, politely.

"What would you like?" Troy asked me. Tapping the book.

I took it and flipped through the pages, not sure what I wanted. My appetite was ravenous and I knew I needed food soon before I collapsed again.

I was hesitant, going through the booklet. So I gave it to Troy first. So he could order, I felt like I was holding him up. He didn't show any emotion but exuberance. He seemed extremely happy.

But I knew there were still things to sort out. Things that only involved me. But would obviously get him into trouble because of that. Or worse, we'd both get hurt. But I pushed that out of my mind.

After a while we both decided on some sandwiches. Troy made the call and ordered them up for us; I sat back on the bed. The hum of the TV started to break through my hearing.

The news.

Talking about usual things. Debt, crime and everything I hadn't been in touch with in the last couple days. I frowned. I almost felt guilty for that. Selfish even.

I turned towards Troy. He was just sitting there, still playing with my hands. I smiled. He seemed to be watching my face. I don't think he believed me whenever I said I was _okay_. In truth I wasn't, but now…I think I was. As long as we were here. In another state. Far off from…him.

Troy's face changed; his expression a little subtler. It must have been in reaction to _my _expression. Oh. Because I was thinking of Chase. I bit my lip and tried to not think about it. I focused on Troy. He relaxed as I did. Why was he so on edge?

"So…" my voice broke our comfortable silence "You said you followed me here right? So you've been here as long as I have?" I asked confused. I was sure I wouldn't be able to actually notice him. I was so far gone the last couple days. Like a spell had been cast over me. Only intrigued with the ocean.

He smiled down at our hands.

"Yes, I got here just a little after you did." He admitted.

"Where did you sleep all this time?" I asked him; surely he went somewhere.

"Actually, this hotel. I had a room on the second floor."

I caught the word immediately.

"Had?" my brows furrowed in question.

"Yeah. I checked out earlier, because I thought you'd be leaving yesterday. But, you were only going to the cove." He said, his eyes never leaving…my lips? I nodded.

"I don't want you to leave." I whispered, embarrassed as I said it. But I _didn't _want him to. I don't think I could take anymore people leaving me. People that I cared about, especially him.

The intensifying look in his eyes brightened. He looked deeper into mine.

"I promised you I wouldn't. And…" he trailed off. Looking at me with a grin.

"And what?" I whispered.

"And…I wouldn't want to." He told me sincerely. My breathing caught. He didn't _want _to leave. It wasn't just a promise. My cheeks burned a rose color against my skin.

He reached his hand up to touch my face again. It felt hot. Even to me, his hand was cooling though. I liked the way it felt.

The TV's hum in the background seemed more distant. Even the waves weren't as prominent as our breathing, and my heartbeat. I could hear the water though. It was still my safe haven. But now…

I think I've found another one.

His hand slid down my face slowly. As he traced my full lips once again.


	20. Written in The Sand

Once we've eaten and the sun starts to perk up over the beach, my eyes feel a little droopy and I'm yawning more than I should.

Troy keeps studying my face, looking for something hidden. But it doesn't show, because I've told him everything. But he insists I go back to sleep.

I refuse to like a stubborn child and fight my eyes lids to stay open. I know I'm going to win.

I didn't want to deduct any time I had with him. He was here and we were together now, so I didn't want to chance that. Because the second we crossed the Stateline back into New Mexico. Our futures would both blow away like ash. In the wind.

And I'd be met with Chase. Something far worse than anything I have been through. Even drowning. My near death experience had nothing on Chase.

I scolded myself mentally for thinking about this again. I certainly didn't know what to expect but even assuming was bad. So I stopped myself there.

Troy and I had gone down to the shore when it started to brighten up. He'd laid a blanket down on the sand and we were both lying on it. My eyes closed. But I wasn't sleeping, quite the opposite really. I was trying to rest my eyes every now and then so I _wouldn't _fall asleep.

I stretched out on the knit blanket that Troy had pulled from his car trunk, and I imagined my muscles relaxing. I felt so exhausted. And my sore limbs didn't help.

Troy played with my hair, gently brushing them away from my face so he could peer into my sleepy eyes. I'm sure I had dark purple circle under them. That's why he kept sliding his finger over my lids when I closed them and telling me to fall asleep. I wanted to but I also didn't. What I really wanted was time.

More of it anyways.

I didn't know how much we had left.

My body felt light under the soft sand. I rested my head on Troy's chest and he began playing with my hair again.

It set me to a soft lull. I wanted to sleep now. But I forced my lids open and tried to get the most of my time here.

But maybe…I could rest them just a bit longer. So I do.

And my little plan doesn't work very well. I drift to sleep, hearing the waves around me.

I have that same dream. When I'm waist deep in the water and Troy is calling to me. But this time I don't wonder why he's here with me.

I welcome him.

With open arms and when his lips press to mine I awake.

I'm angry with myself for falling asleep. The sun still hadn't quite risen yet. So I wasn't out to long.

I feel around me.

Troy is gone.

I look out at the tide line and see him standing there. Staring up at the half hidden sun rise. His hands at his sides peacefully. He didn't have a shirt on. But I had changed to my jeans and a faded tank top. The heat was almost unbearable. His back was turned to me but I could tell he knew I was awake.

I rubbed my eyes and sat up from the blanket, I walked over to him slowly, feeling my feet sink into the soft sand will grace.

My hair blew behind me, I shivered a little. The warmth hadn't fully taken over my body yet. He turned slightly and met my gaze. His eyes changing to a tender blue as soon as I took his hand.

He rubbed my bare arms.

"You have goose bumps." He mused, looking concerned.

With that my body suddenly feels warmer, taking on a new heat with my thudding pulse.

I shrug, knowing I'll be fine.

We both look out at the blue ocean. Just like his eyes, I think.

"And you're not cold?" I ask him, glancing at his bare chest. My eyes linger there a moment longer then they should. I tear my gaze away.

"No." he laughs simply. "The weather here is so nice." He closes his eyes and leans his head down toward me. Then something touches my hair, his lips? I close mine too and let the warm sun chase my goose bumps away.

A person could really get lost here. With the warm West Coast feel to everything. The water, still not as warm as the Atlantic but perfect in its own way.

And the way people treat you. Like an old friend. My hometown was nothing like Los Angeles or Malibu. It was so much more than that. It wasn't caddy and high class, it was home. Complete with warmth and happiness.

It was no wonder I needed to come here of all places, this place is the only thing I've ever known.

"Troy…?" I say softly, getting his attention.

"Yes?" he smiles at me, his eyes lighting up.

I hesitate. This wasn't really a hard question but I felt strange asking it.

"Where did you grow up?" my voice wavers, a giveaway that I'm slightly embarrassed.

"Actually…Albuquerque." He says with a huff. He says it like an expletive. Like it was an awful place. And it was. I guess I always thought I was the only one who resented it more than my own life.

He looks at me then, since I haven't answered him yet. His eyes holding mine for a minute. I still can't believe he is actually here.

"I want to show you something." I say to him suddenly. I grip his hand and pull him away from the water.

His eyes still intent on my arm. The raised bumps. I didn't feel that cold but he still dashed over to the blanket, shook the sand off and wrapped it around me.

Then I take his hand again and lead him towards my destination. A place I love just as much as the cove. But had a different meaning.

Its just a little ways past my old house and then up some rocks. He helps me climb since the blanket trails behind my feet. I trip a couple of times but he caught my fall each time like it was nothing.

Finally I'm ahead, leading the way up the rocky hill. Were just about there. I reach out and grab the nearest rock, and hoist myself up. To the top of the cliff edge.

He follows me and were now both standing up, staring out at the sun that is about to fully rise.

The cliff isn't steep at all. It's not far from the ground either, but me and Peyton called it our "cliff". A little piece of adventure.

It overlooked the beach and the water like a balcony would. But if you jumped off it, you'd land perfectly in the ocean. A clean dive.

I turn around to meet Troy's eyes. He smiles wide. A knowing smile, that I've shared this with him. He knows it holds my memory but doesn't ask. I like that about him.

He comes closer to me.

I take a deep breath, I need to say this. To get this out before we have to leave. So I swallow my nerves and look into his eyes with confidence.

"Troy…" I start. Gripping the blanket around me.

"Ever since I told you about…my situation" I try out the word "You have been, just so helpful and I…I always felt like…" I can't finish without silent tears streaking down my face.

Troy comes over to me and pulls me into him. Giving me time to continue. I go on.

"I just want to thank you, for everything. And I…I" I breathe in sharply and close my eyes. This one effortless word can't roll of my tongue right now. Our avoided word that hung in the air like the soft scent of lilacs. I open my eyes and touch his face.

Stroking his cheek. This is it. The waves on the shore encourage me.

"I love you." I whisper. My voice shimmers like a bell. The words are strong and hold themselves. His eyes are lit up again. He's known this all along but to hear me say it is something else entirely.

"Gabriella, I love you too." He says to me sweetly. His arms are tighter around my waist. And he bends down slightly to kiss me.

I stretch up on my tip toes to meet his lips. I'm warm instantly, I melt into him effortlessly. This is how it was always supposed to be, my mind chants at me.

My hands move to his hair and I tangle it in my fingers. Pulling him closer as I do so.

My will and hesitation crumble to dust as we touch. There is nothing more to explain. My eyes are closed tight in contentment and I feel his hot breath against my face.

My heart is pounding against my chest and I'm sure he feels it too.

In the brief moments we pull apart for air he whispers my name.

He looks at me, intensity burning into my own eyes.

"You knew." I whisper against his bare chest.

He grins at me, in a way that I _let _my hard speed up.

"Yes. I have to say I did." His voice is clear and I mentally settle my easy heart beat. My cheeks redden. Another giveaway.

I knew that he knew. All along? Maybe.

Something deep inside me, past all the regret and longing for the West Coast, was the voice that led me to speak that one simple word.

I slightly tilt my head to the side and he leans in again to kiss me softly. My lips brushing against his like silk. Sweet and embracive.

"You must've known too, Gabriella." He says casually. Like I really _should've _known.

I did.

My lips curl up and I nod.

"I did, I just…didn't let myself really _believe _it was true." My eyes are now fixated on our bare feet. I don't look up at him for a while until he answers me.

"Why not?" he asks me curiously. I feel his gaze; I'm reluctant to look up.

"I don't know, Troy. I guess I thought it might be…safer."

I don't even think about meeting his eyes. I'm sure he'd be confused or…

I close my eyes and lift my head up. Then open them to meet Troy's cerulean eyes.

Then the black starts to creep into them again. And the pain on his face that _I _cause.

"Gabriella." He breathes against my face. "I'm not letting him anywhere near you ever again. You have to trust that."

And I do.

I know I do.

"Of course I know that, but at the time–" he cuts me off.

"It _was _safer, your right." Troy says nodding. The black goes away as does the pain. I smile at him gently.

He pulls me closer and rests his cheek on my head. It feels right.

I exhale with relief. There wasn't anything else I had kept from him now. It was all out in the open and I didn't feel strained or frightened. Were miles away from that place we both dread. Let's stay longer.

My mind pleads with me. I bite my lip.

I wanted to stay. We had to. If we went back now, no one could predict what was waiting for me there.

I pulled away slightly and yawned. Troy laughed.

"Still tired?"

I nodded sheepishly and looked out at the shore.

The waves were weaving in and out in a peculiar way. A way I didn't recognize, like a storm was about to come. Hopefully not. I liked the warmth here.

I looked away from the waves, my mind forgetting about the unusual curves that the water gave off.

And I buried my head into Troy's chest.

"Let's go back down to the shore." He urged me. I stretched up to kiss him again. My way of saying "Okay".


	21. Falling Over Me

I stretched out my sore legs on the soft hotel bed. I closed my eyes and searched for the waves, out the sliding glass door, beyond the parking lot and over the sand hill. The ocean was loud. Tonight that specifically caught my attention. It was always peaceful here. But tonight the ocean almost roared.

I opened my eyes. The soft color scheme of the room was nice. White on white, pale and serene. I liked it here. Well of course I did, but I mean I _really _liked this. The hotel, the ocean so close, and Troy. Right here with me.

I felt undeserving sometimes, for all this. But it was a wake up call to think about New Mexico. And then I knew I truly deserved _that_. After all, I was a horrible person. Wasn't all this my fault? And now Troy was going to be harmed because of me. I was undeserving. Of him especially.

A loud crash of waves coming onto the shore jolted me out of my thoughts.

Troy was in the shower. I was still resided on the bed.

After we went up to the cliff today, we strode along the shore for a while longer until I took him to the cave I used to go to. It was somewhat near the cove but much closer, and was slightly hidden by a wall of rocks.

We'd sat, and talked for a while. About him this time, my curiosity about his life had been too much to bear. So he told me. About his over bearing father, always pushing basketball and school work on him. The way he knew his parents didn't love each other anymore. And how he was sure they were only staying together for his sake. He said, it was obvious by the way that they didn't look at each other the same way. He picked up on stuff like that. He told me that he put everything into basketball, everything he had because he felt it was all he had.

"_It means everything to me. I've never had a passion so deep for anything before." _ He'd said, and then he pulled me into him. His lips finding mine in a soft kiss. I don't think he was talking about basketball anymore as I felt his grip on me tighten.

I'd never known he felt that way.

I mentally scolded myself for being so selfish. Just because I was being tortured my chase didn't make me the only person in the world having problems. Even if mine were physical.

His life was much easier to understand though. He was very assertive. Especially towards me. He always asked me what I was thinking and feeling or what I wanted. No one had ever wanted to know that much about me. No one had ever asked me questions like that. It was hard to answer at first. But it made more sense along the way. I _should _know how I was feeling and be able to tell someone about it. I _should _know or have an idea of what I wanted, and I did. But it had never mattered what I thought.

Now it did.

And I liked that.

We also talked about me too. A lot of stuff about Chase. I'd told him absolutely everything. As much as I could remember. How we met, how he'd lied to me and brain washed me to believe him and then taken me as his prisoner. And how no one knew. Just him.

I thought back to the day Troy found out and shivered. When I'd carelessly, but thankfully I did, take off my sweatshirt. Revealing each bruise.

Here, I didn't bother to cover up. Although some people stared at me and my bruised arms, I didn't find it bothersome. I simply didn't _care_. This was California, not New Mexico.

And that was like a whole new world.

Which rushed hurried thoughts to my head.

_We can't just leave. I don't want to. I want to stay. I have to stay._

I was getting a headache from all this. I closed my eyes firmly. Just then I heard a loud crack. Like a whip. My eyes flashed open. The water was really acting up today. And it was so hot. So hot that the glass door was wide open and the fan was whirling around. Which, I mean wasn't unusual for this town but it was still a little above average. Maybe it was just me.

I sat up from my laying position on the bed. And ran my fingers through my tousled hair. The soft brown curls curved with my fingers. My hand went from my hair down to my wrist as I gripped the bracelet reassuringly.

My grandma came to my mind.

She always said when the ocean was loud, that a storm was coming. The heat proved that too. I shuddered. The storms here were abnormal. Like small but deadly hurricanes.

I found myself missing her. It pained me that I hadn't seen her since I was about ten or eleven. A couple months before we moved. Where was she?

A crazy thought struck me. Was it that easy? Could I just go see her? I didn't know if she still lived by the bay but I was curious. I knew exactly where her little cottage was. Down to the angle it faced. That was my second home. A whole other life too.

But what if she weren't there?

I don't know if I could handle knowing someone else lived in her cottage. Or if the cottage was gone. I pushed that out of my head. I had to see her.

I had to go to the cottage. There was still so much about my life I didn't know. About my mother and what went on before I was born.

The sudden curiosity sparked my interest on a whim.

My mind ran on one track and it wanted to see her. Today. Now. I just had to.

I heard the bathroom door open. I glanced to the front of the room and saw Troy walking into the room with just a towel around his waist. He smiled at me, his hair all wet and dishelmed. I grinned back at him.

I stood up from the bed and walk casually over too him. And wrapped my arms around his neck. He kissed my forehead.

"Hope I didn't take too long." He whispered to me.

"No, you didn't." I answered. My mind still was racing with possible thoughts.

"You seem distracted?" he asked me. Kindness eased out of his voice. I was sure he'd be okay with my plans. So I tried him.

"Troy…do you want to take a drive somewhere?"

-------------

Troy held up a map as he sat in the passenger seat. I was driving; I had to barely look at the road to know where I was headed.

"You're sure you don't need this?" he held up the map again.

I shook my head with a smile. "No, I know exactly where I'm going."

"What brought this on?" he said to me a smile hinted in his tone but I didn't look away.

I just held up my arm. Showing the bracelet. I felt his fingers grip it gently as he smoothed it between his thumb and forefinger.

"A bracelet?"

"It's hers. Well it was, and then it was mine and then I gave it to Peyton. I was just thinking about it today. I need to do this." My voice wavered.

"I know. I'm glad your doing this." He said calmly.

"What do you mean?" I asked him surprised.

"The way you talked about her when you…explained to me. She sounds like a very wise person. I understand why you trust her so much. And I'm glad you're taking me with you." He said honestly.

"Where else would I leave you?" I joked, setting my hand back on the wheel once he released my wrist.

The drive there was rocky. It wasn't a real paved road. It was dirt and it made the way dusty but familiar. We passed the loading docks and shops along the old pier until I came to the small cutoff point that led to her street. We were on the bay front now.

Just as I was pulling onto the cutoff a loud crack sounded. I jumped.

"Thunder." Troy stated. "It's just a storm." He rested his hand on my leg. I calmed down. So the storm _was_ coming.

I kept driving and more thunder cracked. Out of the corner of my eye I swear I saw a bolt of lightening. It was near six o'clock now. The sky was just loosing the tinge of sunlight as it faded into sunset.

I took a deep breathe. It was just a storm. And I was nervous about all this. I'd be just fine. I told myself over and over.

My grandma's cottage was sort of like my house. It wasn't in an actual neighborhood but that's what made it special. It was old, a dark faded wood with stones. And the doors had stained glass for windows. So when the light hit the front door it looked like a rainbow.

I used to lay under the glare that the sun cast from the windows all day. Sometimes I'd fall asleep. It was so peaceful.

We were coming to the end of the cutoff now. My nerves were intensified.

_You can do this. It's going to be fine._

That's what my head told me, but my heart was speeding up as if I were running out of breath.

I pulled off the cutoff and into my Grandma's street. I eased into the neighborhood quietly. We took Troy's car so it was unusually smooth on the rough roads. My truck would've been noisy and shaky.

But this was nice. And much quicker, the pickup truck probably couldn't handle this type of venture.

I passed houses that were somewhat familiar and new ones that I'd never seen before. Each house had flower boxes under the window sills and stone finishing. Which is why we called it a 'cottage'. It was like that to me.

I stated to push down on the peddle more. And then I'd pause. I wasn't sure if I could do this. My breath came in shallow little pants. I felt Troy's strong hand on mine.

"Do you want me to drive? I don't mind." He said. Searching my face.

I shook my head. "No. We're almost there. I can do it."

He took is hand back with a reassuring look in his eyes. That was enough for me to calm the hell down.

I steadied my breathing and kept driving.

I pulled into a little paved driveway. A house made up of dark wood panels and the faded ocean-washed stone. My grandma's cottage.

I got that weird feeling as I did when I laid eyes on _my _house. Just days ago it was. Because this was exactly like that had been.

Her cottage was everything I'd remembered it to be. It even still had yellow lilies in the flower box. I gasped. My eyes felt misty.

I was hopeful.

I was hopeful that she might be in there. Still as she had been once. When everything was simpler.

I killed the engine and pulled the keys out, handing them to Troy who pocketed them. I took off my seatbelt and opened the car door. Inhaling the bay side's fragrance. It gave me the strength to close the car and take my first steps towards the front door.

Troy met me halfway. After locking the car he pulled me into his arms.

I all but almost broke down right there. But I stopped myself and bit my lip.

"Hey. Look at me," he whispered "It's okay. If you can't do this we'll go back. Okay? We can leave. Is that what you want?" he asked me. Holding me close to his chest and whispering in my hair.

"No." I shook with my voice. "I want to do this. I know I do."

"It's going to be fine." He said like he actually knew. I couldn't help but believe him.

He held me at arms length, studying my face again. And then he gently bent to kiss me. It was soft and warm. I relaxed in his grasp. I was ready.

We walked up the paved driveway and onto the wooden steps that lead to the small stained glass door. The porch greeted us with the dark paneled wood. My grandmother's rocking chair was in the same spot I always knew it to be. It sheltered us from the small drizzle of rain that now fell.

Troy squeezed my hand and I took a few steps forward. I stood on the doormat now. And then I felt my hand reach out and lightly tap the door. Two soft but distinct knocks.

I closed my eyes and waited. They flashed open when I heard muted footsteps. Almost inaudible. But sill there and growing louder. Until they stopped.

Slowly the door opened. Revealing a small, pale old woman. With long silvery hair. And a sterling necklace around her neck. The one that matched my bracelet. Since it was once hers.

"Grandma." I breathed, the rain making my voice shake.


	22. Windows Painted with Rain

**Hey guys. I haven't done an author's note in **_**forever. **_**How are you guys? And thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I'm so glad you guys like the outcome of this story. It's amazing to write it :) I really feel connected to this one more than any of my others.**

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to my beautiful lovely, Chloe :) Email me girl! **

*******

"Gabriella." The women said. Her voice came raspy but it wasn't a question. She wasn't _asking_ me if I was her granddaughter. She was recognizing that I _was _Gabriella.

"Hi." I said lamely. My breath had caught and was barely allowing me to speak. Troy's hand squeezed mine. And then he let it go. And I think he knew what I was going to do next.

I threw myself into her arms.

She hugged me back. Her arms much stronger than I'd imagined. She held me close and I was washed over with an alarming number of memories. The way she felt, sounded, smelled. Everything flooded back to me as if I were just here yesterday.

"I've missed you, child." She told me sweetly. And I couldn't speak. I was still trying to cohere my thoughts. This was real. I am really here. And so was she.

But my head refused to take all that in just yet.

She pulled me back and looked at me. Her gleaming smile touched her eyes. Almost hidden with wrinkles. They always made me think how wise she looked.

"My goodness you've grown. And you are truly beautiful." I gave a small smile in return. Still in disbelief. She looked to troy.

"Now who is this young man, Gabriella?" she asked me. Her voice cracked with age. I smiled and gestured to Troy. His smile lit up his eyes as well. Deep ocean blue.

"This is Troy." I said with love in my voice that I'm sure she caught. She looked at the two of us and her smile was brilliantly bright. Understanding.

"Ah," she mused. "How wonderful, child. Come in you two. The rain isn't supposed to let up for a good couple hours." She turned and led us into the small cottage that centered my whole childhood.

Troy politely thanked her and took my hand once more. I was greatly thankful for him being here right now.

"Thank you, Troy." I leant over and whispered in his ear. Low, so only he heard me.

"Your welcome." He said. His grin made my heart speed up again. I laced my fingers with his as we walked into the kitchen.

My grandma's kitchen smelled like a mixture of vanilla, ginger, and some homey smell that reminded me of how much I missed her that my eyes misted. Her house was exactly the same. Everything about it. She still had old artwork drawings from me and Peyton on her fridge. Like they were prized possessions.

That's how she was. No matter what you did, she thought the world of it. She said you learned from everything you did. And I'd come to really believe that.

She went towards her old stove and filled up her black kettle. One that I remembered I'd burnt my hand on when I was four. She filled it with water and set it on the hot stove.

"Would you two like to join me for some tea?" her smile was warm and I nodded.

"Thank you." Troy answered with a nice smile back to her.

Grandma always made tea. And every time I came over here the first thing she did was put the kettle on. No matter what she'd turn to me and say "Would you like to join me for tea?" as if I would refuse. As if I were only dropping in and then leaving. And I'd always smile at her and answer with a "Yes. Please!" and she would make us tea.

I surveyed the kitchen. She had a sink full of dishes and little sauce pans to the rim. Which wasn't like her. She always kept the kitchen tidy.

There were jars full of jam and spices lined up on the shelves, right where they've always been. A wooden box full of sea shells and sea glass I usually collected for her was set on the third shelf above the sink. I smiled towards it, remembering.

I was so glad to be here.

Troy and I sat down at her little kitchen table. It was white and had small roses made of colored wood shaped around each corner. She'd painted the roses red herself and the rest of the table was painted a crème color. This table was older than me; she had picked it up at a garage sale when she and my Grandfather had first moved here. That was forty years ago. But it was still the most intricate piece of furniture she had.

I tapped my fingers lightly on the table top and looked over at Troy. His eyes were calming and he smiled at me softly. As if to calm me down. I needed to be here. But I was glad he was with me.

My grandma shuffled around the kitchen. Getting tea cups and a plate of butter cookies. My favorite.

She set them on the table and motioned for us to eat. I smiled and we thanked her. I was starving and the food smelled so good.

Just then the kettle whistled, loud and shrill, announcing its conclusion. The water was boiled and three tea bags were rested beside the three mugs.

She got each one. Filling them up and adding the tea and some little scoops of sugar. Then handing them to us. Troy sipped his as I did mine.

"Thank you, this is really good." Troy said, always polite. He squeezed my hand softly from under the table. Mine felt so cold compared to his. I was shaking too.

"Your welcome young man. I'm glad you enjoy it. My parents used to brew their own tea right here in this town, many years ago." I smiled. I knew this story well.

Grandma grew up in a small house much like this one. This part of the bay was as old as time. And it still looked that way. It was charming and very warm. Her family lived in one along the bay at the north side. By the shore. She had four brothers and sisters. Two boys, two girls. She was the youngest.

Her family had been here since as long as she could remember. They brewed their own tea, which was their family business. It wasn't a wealthy marketing price but they were happy. And I loved hearing about the way her family was. Always caring and kind towards each other. I loved the stories.

So she told that one to Troy and he looked generally interested. I grinned and felt a pang of hope. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard with him here. We laughed when she did and smiled as she told us about the long summers with my grandfather and how truly happy they were. These were my favorite. The ones with her and my grandpa. There lives we so easily strained yet she explained how their love couldn't be broken. No matter how long the distance or outcome in the relationship. And she was right.

I sipped my tea. It was almost cold now; we'd been conversing for hours. My lids began to feel heavy. But I knew it was only from my lack of sleep and sore muscles.

Grandmother got up and took our finished tea mugs. Putting them on top of the ever growing dish pile. That one that I'd thought was odd since she was usually very neat.

I used to always trail behind her as she flitted around her little house. Mopping the floors, pulling a tiny weed, fixing a broken hinge, or weaving thread through an ancient loom. And mostly she cooked.

Now her house seemed slightly out of place. A little clutter here and there. As if I'd had been mourning my absence as well.

"Well my my, look at this kitchen. I think I should tidy up a bit." As if she'd read my mind she started running hot water and lightly scrubbing dishes.

I stood up from my chair. Ready to offer my help but she turned to both Troy and I and said,

"Why don't you two take a walk? It's a very nice night out. I can feel it." Her voice chimed.

"That's sounds nice." Troy answered. "But don't you need any help?"

"Child, I've been on my own for quite some time now. I can manage." She smiled at him and turned back to the sink. He nodded towards her and offered me his hand.

I took it and he followed me out towards the deck. The little glass doors clutched together with the bronze door frame. I pulled one open and then gently shut it behind us when we were both standing on the outside deck.

I started toward the bay.

"She's very kind." He smiled and gently caressed my hand that he held.

"Yeah. She's just as I remember her too." My voice trailed off as I took in the breath taking bay view. It was gorgeous. It wasn't my cove, but it was still a treasured memory.

We walked along the sand, getting farther from the little house. Swinging our hands effortlessly and talking. His smooth skin pressed against mine each time he'd reach across my body to cup my cheek or push hair from my face.

I was starting to fade. To get tired as we walked and talked. My eye lids held themselves up for the time being and I wondered how much longer they would until they gave up and slid closed. I yawned.

"Your tired." He pulled me into him. We were standing on the shore line now. The tide came up and washed over our bare feet.

"Yes." I mumbled. Wanting to just fall asleep right now. I closed my eyes.

"You should sleep." He whispered to me. "Let's go back to the cottage."

"No. Not yet." I wasn't quite ready to leave the bay just yet. I snuggled into him closer. the nest thing I knew he'd scooped me into his arms.

At first I thought he was taking me back up to the house, and I was about to protest. But then I felt the smoothness of sand under me.

He layed me down on the sand behind a couple of large rocks, so we were pretty much hidden.

I opened my eyes to see him hovering above me. His blue eyes melting me.

I reached up to touch the circles under his eyes.

"You look tired too." I said softly. He pressed my lips to mine before he answered.

"Just a little. Nothing I can't handle." His sweet breath breezed across my face with his whispers.

He lent down again to kiss me. This time I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lay on top of me. His body heat instantly warming me. His smooth skin pressed against mine, my bare arms tingled.

He pulled away slightly and then kissed my forehead.

"C'mon. Let's get some sleep." He said to me. I looked around us. It was pitch black. The sun must have set hours ago. But I liked this kind of darkness.

My grandmother was right.

It was a beautiful night.


	23. To Fall Away

**Oh my god you guys must HATE me. I'm so so so so so sorry I took so long**

**to update! It's been crazy and I didn't have the time. I appreciate your reviews**

**so much. I just hit 100 I think! Thank you so much you guys are amazing!**

Troy leaned against the guest bed in the tiny room down the hall. The cottage was tiny.

Just a kitchen, foyer, one bathroom, my grandmother's bedroom and this tiny room where Peyton and I slept when we stayed here.

I loved this room.

The walls were painted a sea blue color, with little sketches of shells circling the room on a thin strip of wall paper. There was a single bed, dresser, and a small wooden rocking chair in the corner.

The sheets were a salmon–almost pink tinge. The pillows an off-white color, and the wood floors were aged and authentic looking.

This room was like a second home. I smiled.

"What?" Troy asked, grinning at me.

"Nothing." I said with a small laugh. "Just this room. It's so...well, the same. It hasn't changed since I was last here."

"It's nice." he smiled back. He stood up from the bed.

The room was dimly lit with a ceramic lamp that rested atop the dresser. Troy's features were warm under the light. I heard the waves clash against the shore in the distance.

This was so relaxing.

"Well I hope you'll be comfortable in here." he kissed my forehead and grabbed a blanket from the rocker. Headed for the couch in the foyer.

I smirked teasingly. I grabbed his arm and put the blanket down.

"What are you talking about? Your not sleeping out _there_ all by yourself." I grinned. I pulled the covers of the bed back. Revealing the matching salmon colored bed sheets.

"Are you sure?" he asked tentatively. Always cautious with me like I might snap and thrust myself back into the freezing black waters of the cove.

I sighed.

"Yes. Your staying with me tonight." I said firmly.

The last time I'd been in this room, it was lonely without Peyton, cuddling up beside me in the moderately sized bed. We would talk about growing up and going to parties when we were older. Just like the girls we saw on the bay. We wanted to go to the bonfires and feel grownup.

But after she died and I came back here because my father couldn't handle me, I stayed here alone every night. Staring up at the ceiling and imagining myself at the beach parties that you saw along the shore. It wasn't the same without Peyton.

I miss staying up until we saw the sun. Those endless conversation about being teenagers and how we were going to date the most popular guys at North Pacific, the high school we would've gone to if certain events did not carry out.

I pushed those memories aside fervently. My eyes catching Troy's.

"Your always miles away." He breathed, coming closer. I smiled, though it did not reach my eyes, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Let's go to bed." I whispered against him.

We stayed at the cottage for three more days. We cooked with my grandmother, we listened to her entrancing stories, collected sea glass along the shore, hiked near the cave mouths where Peyton and I used to hide, sat by the fire each night or out on the porch and looked out at the black waves, and every night we fell asleep in each others arms.

It was like a small piece of paradise. And I was sad to leave. But staying here, blocking out reality was the last thing I needed; it wasn't healthy.

So now our bags are packed again and I'm standing in the guest room, unsure if I'll ever step foot in this room, this house, again.

I walk out to front door where my grandmother is standing in the doorway, her frail figure leaning on it for support.

Troy is out on the driveway putting our few things into the trunk of the Audi.

Without me even making a sound my grandma turns around to greet me. Her eyes smiling and her arms held out towards me. I embrace her, trying not to cry. It seems I just found her, and now I am leaving her. Alone.

We walk out to the porch as troy comes up and says his goodbye to her. Thanking her greatly and hugging her. Before he nods to me and heads to the car she pulls him back and whispers something in his ear.

Troy smiles and gives her a sincere look.

"I promise. You have my word." he says and heads to the car, giving us privacy to say our last goodbyes.

I give her a confused look but she just ruffles my long curls like old times.

"Gabriella." Her voice sways, "I am so glad you came to see me, child. It has meant the world to see you a grown woman. You are marvelous. I know you have many questions, dear. About your father, your mother, and your life back here. But you must know that I cannot be the one to give you the answers.

That you must find out yourself, all on your own." She paused, giving me a wise smile.

"Troy is a wonderful young man. I am glad you chose him."

"He sort of chose me." I say, returning the smile and squeezing her hand.

Her fingers find the bracelet, I never told her I gave it to Peyton, that Peyton lost it during her death, or that I retrieved it once again. But deep down I know she already knows. She rubs the tiny charm, engraved with the water symbol.

"You are apart of the sea, child. As you always will be. Please...be careful. I love you."

"I love you too." I embrace her one last time and her eyes hold this look of hope. I have to tear myself away and walk towards the car.

This is the last time I will see her. I know this already, as she does.

There are so many things I still need to say, ask, know... but like she said I will figure that out myself.

Were driving away now, slowly backing out. I raise my hand in a slight wave to her and she waves back.

Then she turns, and walks back into the tiny little cottage by the sea. Where she will stay.

**Sorry this is a very short one but I needed to finish up this part of the story. Hope you enjoyed it! I PROMISE I will be a lot better about updating! Things have been crazy with school and cheerleading but I will find time for you guys! Xoxo**


	24. Nothings Gonna Change my World

Troy kicked the door to our abandoned hotel room open, hands full of our bags. Set our suitcases on the bed and sat down. He looked up at me, my thoughtful, clouded expression waning at his smile.

"Come here." he said softly. I sat down on his lap. My head leaned back on the crook of his neck.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"For what?" He asked me, stroking my leg that was casually draped over his lap. I felt like a

small child.

"For coming with me, to see her. I know you don't really understand everything. But it was nice to have you there." I said timidly. I felt his arms wrap tighter around me. The next second we were lying on the bed, him underneath me, and he cupped my face.

"You know, I could understand everything. If you'd just let me in."

I sighed. He was right.

The ride home had been sort of quiet. But comfortably so.

We stopped in front of North Pacific High. I showed Troy the beautiful college-like campus, the school I'd never got to attend. Only in my dreams. We drove down the highway back to my hometown, farther from the Bay. I pointed out little shops, houses, distant memories of my childhood and he listened, smiled, and was avid to hear everything.

It was evening when we'd arrived back at the Hotel. My truck still in the same space. We parked adjacent to it and made our way to the room. Which we were in now.

He continued to stroke my face. Patiently looking at me. He was so good.

I leaned down and kissed him softly.

"Gabriella." He breathed. "There is so much I want to know about you. your so quiet, it worries me. I want to make everything go away. But how can I? You seem so immersed. Your always so thoughtful, it kills me not to know what your thinking sometimes."

My breath caught. I could be openly honest with him, I had. So why did it scare me so much to give him everything? He clearly had given me the world. I suddenly felt selfish.

My eyes felt heavy, welled up a little bit. Troy sat me up, cradling me again.

"Don't cry, love. I only want to know you more." His voice was smooth and caring. I shuddered.

I got up off the bed, shoving the suitcases off and took a step back. His eyes followed me cautiously. I slipped my shoes off. And glanced at him tentatively. He stood up, slipping his arms around my waist. Pushing me against the wall. I kissed him deeply, my hands in his golden hair.

My eyes slipped closed as his lips brushed mine, hot, and needy. I closed the gap slowly, my lips shaping to his own. They grew more vigorous, heavy. Suddenly my clothes were just too much in the way. As if reading my mind Troy's fingers pulled at my tank top, the hem in his fist. He pulled It over my head. My long curls falling down around my face.

Leaving me in my dark jeans and black bra, it was my turn now. I had his shirt over his head and thrown across the room. It fell by the sliding doors, leading out to the small balcony where you could hear the West Coast.

My hands roamed his ripped chest, tanned from the trip. He kissed me harder. I lost myself in his embrace. This was exactly where I wanted to be. I felt is hands undo my jeans, pressing me harder to the wall. He slid them off my legs and I stepped out of them.

I pushed him down on the white sheeted bed, falling down on top of him, my black waves brushed his face. His hands slid up my back, unclasped my bra and threw that across the room next to his shirt. His breath hitched as he drank me in. His hands on my chest. I closed my eyes in content.

He flipped us over then, me now underneath him as I helped pull his jeans off, then his boxers. The only article of clothing left was my thong. That came off a second later.

Troy had seen me naked before. The night he rescued me, he'd helped me into a bath. But it wasn't like this. This was love, lust, and everything I wanted.

He hovered above me. His eyes glowing and a smile on his perfect face.

"Gabriella, I love you." His voice was full of love, and almost a cautious question. He was so very careful with me.

"I love you too." I whispered. My hair splayed out around my head, my eyes locked with his. He was all I wanted.

That was all the confirmation needed. He kissed me one last time, his lips soft and safe. I spread my legs a little wider, then he entered me.

I let out a gasp of pleasure. He gripped my arms and hips as we moved in sync, our breath heavy. All my senses were heightened. His ocean eyes were enamoring, his bronze hair was so soft to my touch, and his body was hot against mine.

He eased in a little harder and I rolled my eyes back in content, my nails dug into his back.

I'd never been loved like this before. My heart was about to burst.

Troy's lips kissed mine over and over, then trailed down to my neck. He let out a low growl, more feverish kissing than before.

I kissed him back just as passionately, my hands all over his chest once more.

"Troy." I gasped, pleasure filling me. His hands moved all around me too. Cupping my cheek, tracing my lips, my breasts, then trailing down my legs.

It was all so amazing. My mind reeled with it. I loved him more than anything.

We made love like that for the rest of the night.

After that we laid out on the balcony love seat, wrapped in the bed sheets, in each other's arms. We watched the sun come up as Troy held me. Kissing sometimes, playing with my hair and whispering things in my ear softly.

I was in a state of bliss. Nothing mattered.

The sun sent streaks of warm colors through the sky as it made its assent. It made the California coast light up. My tiny little beach was wild with color, the palm trees swayed with an early morning breeze.

"Troy?" I asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Yes?"

"Can we stay here?" I whispered against the bare skin of his chest. I didn't want to leave this place, this state of total and complete happiness. I had never felt so overjoyed. So safe.

I clung to Troy like a small child, suddenly feeling scared of what the future held. Or more specifically what my past held against _me, _waiting at home in New Mexico, more furious then I had ever made him. Waiting til I got back... waiting until he had a good enough reason to finally just kill me. Well, he had one now.

My heart sped up, pounding against my chest.

"I want to. Just as much as you do. I really don't see why not." he said sifting through things in his head, probably weighing our options. This place had to be a pro. I wouldn't leave.

I couldn't go back to...him.

Again my heart was racing. My anxiety level dangerously high.

Troy noticed, our bodies being so close.

"Gabriella, are you alright?" He asked me sweetly.

I couldn't speak, my heart was on overdrive now. I breathed in pants.

Fear set on his face and he carried me inside, setting me on the warm bed.

My heart slowed as he rubbed my forehead.

"Its okay, your fine. I won't let anything happen to you." he cooed. So sure of this fact.

I calmed down, I blocked those thoughts from my mind and sat up, feeling more than a little pathetic. The sheet fell around my waist, I hugged my bare chest.

"What happened?"

"I...don't know. I just don't want to leave I guess." I spilled, looking up at him in a plead.

"Then we won't. I will not fore you to do anything." he stated firmly.

He kissed my forehead and I felt all back to normal.

I took a hot shower to calm down, and I let myself think only of the positive things. But more thoughts crept in that I didn't like. One was the fact that I was more or less making Troy stay here. He had a life before me. Basketball, school, friends. I couldn't make him leave all of that.

But what would I do I didn't? Would he leave me?

I shook that away and rinsed my long hair. The feel of the hot water was soothing.

Once I got out and dried my curls, I slipped on a simple white wrap dress. Troy, dressed in jeans a shirt now, was standing out on the balcony, his face set in a thoughtful gaze over the beach. He was propped against the bars with his elbows. I slipped my tiny arms around him and kissed him neck.

"Let's go for a walk."

We walked down the shore line, the tide coming up and splashing our feet lightly. It was still early morning, but I felt like it was six in the evening. It was hot and balmy, but perfect for a stroll.

He twined our fingers, bringing our clasped hands up every now and then to kiss mine.

"It's so hot here all the time." he remarked, glancing around. "Yet not a tourist in sight."

"Its always been like that, that's why I loved growing up here. It was like my own little island." I smiled, looking at the tops of tiny little houses, almost identical to mine, which I could see. It sat right by the shore. Untouched.

I pulled my gaze away from the house and looked out at the horizon, the perfect sun rise.

"It must have been nice. The weather and everything, I like it."

"Mhmm. It was." I recalled, the happier times in my life. Those of a rarity.

We walked around some sand dunes, to a much more hidden part of the beach. I leaned against the side of a cave mouth. My dreaded thoughts kicking in.

Troy read my expression.

"Gabriella, please tell me what is bothering you so much." he said in agony. He hated not knowing if something was hurting me. I went back to my earlier thoughts.

"I just...well it's you actually. I know you want to stay here, with me, but...I..." I choked, not able to finish. I took a deep breath then spat it out. "I can't take you away from everything back home!"

There I'd said it. I felt better, but his answer is what would really help.

"Your not taking me from _anything_. Everything I need, and I mean _everything_, is right here." he said looking straight at me and cupping my face, he leaned in and kissed me. I felt like I might cry.

"Wherever you go, I go." Troy stated, as in a 'that's that' kind of way.

"You mean it?" I asked, my voice quiet.

"I _promise_ you." another kiss, then he squeezed both my hands and pushed me against the cave wall. "I'll never leave you alone."

**Aww. Yeah lots of cuteness in this one. Hope you liked it! You all deserve it for being amazing followers of my stories! **

**So anyways my Christmas present to you all is...I AM CONTINUING "NEVER FAR BEHIND"! YAYYY**

**For those of you who have no clue what that is, it's my Zanessa themed fanfic story that I have not updated in FOREVER. So I hope you all will read on! Lovelovelove XOXO**


	25. The Desolation: Part 1

**Hey guys. Remember me? Ha. I am so sorry I have neglected FF for this long but school was insane this year and I had no free time. I really want to finish this story, it's my baby, so please enjoy and I PROMISE there is more to come. I love you all! Review and tell me what you think!**

**Xoxo**

You know those mornings, the ones when everything is so quiet and dream-like? The air is warm and windless, the sky is blue and a little foggy, and the sun is slightly obscured from view. Hiding behind tiny clouds taking form. Mornings where everything is just too peaceful and serene to be true?

That's how it started, that morning. With the deep seated feeling of unease, because everything was too perfect.

Troy stirred next to me in bed, pulling the sheets a little more towards his side. I snuggled in closer to him, the balcony door was slid open and a slight California breeze wafted in. I felt him adjust his position and circle his arms around my body in one fluid motion. Warmth returned to my body as I sighed with happiness. I loved this new normal. Every morning I woke up next to him, the sun shining through the sheer hotel curtains as we awoke. It was perfect.

I honestly couldn't say how long we'd been in this hotel, a few weeks? What did it matter though, we were shut off from the world and encased in a bubble all of our own. It was just what I needed. Troy insisted on covering the room expenses with his credit card, I didn't dare protest. He usually won most of these battles. I sometimes didn't remember how to say no to him in those situations, those liquid blue eyes were too much.

He also insisted we were fine, staying here so long. Of course I knew _I _was fine. No one would be looking for me. but for him, he had a family and I knew there must have been something going on. he said he'd laid it out to his father before leaving and that no one was going to flip out and send a search party or anything after him. But somehow I knew this wasn't entirely true, he fed it to me to keep me from worrying. But deep down I couldn't see his family being that understanding. From what I knew they weren't all too compassionate. He clashed with his father constantly and his mother didn't have a backbone.

But it wasn't like anyone could reach him now, it was too late. He'd lost his phone in the water while rescuing me. another thing swallowed up by the cove.

I faced Troy, a smile on my lips. "Morning." I tapped his nose playfully.

He grabbed my hand before I could pull it back and brought it to his lips, gently kissing it.

"Good morning." His voice was like velvet in the morning, slightly raspy but smooth. He leaned in closer, shifting himself so he was now on top of me and kissed my forehead. My head swam dizzily. I reassessed myself, and felt even dizzier. Yes, this was real. I was this lucky.

I still felt like I was dreaming sometimes.

I laced my arms around his neck and pulled my self up to kiss him. He kissed back, deeper. His hands roaming my bare body, I shivered and smiled into the kiss.

He pulled away and laughed. gently, he brushed some of my hair back, tucking it behind my ear. His eyes were locked in on my face, and they held this deep thoughtful look to them.

"What?" I asked, confused. Why is he looking at me like that?

He grinned, his white teeth shining perfectly down at me. "Nothing." He smirked and leaned down for another kiss. He lifted himself off me and got out of bed. Searching the large suite for his clothes. He navigated his way around until he found them, crumpled up in a ball by the couch. Where'd I'd thrown them last night. I felt warmth in my cheeks return just thinking about it.

He slipped them on quickly and went back over to me. I was sitting up now, stretching and yawning.

"Going somewhere?" I raised an eyebrow at him. I slid out of bed to stand up, facing him now. He grinned and wrapped his arms around my small frame.

"Yes, actually. How would you like some breakfast in bed? I saw a bakery down the road. Looks worth trying out. I'll bring back some coffee and bagels?" he asked me sweetly. His warm hands felt so good on my bare frame. I smiled and nodded my head.

"That sounds amazing. You sure you know your way around okay?" after all this was my hometown. He grew up in new Mexico his whole life. But it was a small city. He couldn't really get lost.

"I'll manage," he laughed as I walked him towards the door. "But, for this to actually be breakfast in bed you'd better be in that bed when I get back, Ms. Montez."

His hand on the doorknob he turned back to me with a smile. Clutching his keys in his hand.

"Oh don't you worry I'll be here, waiting for you." I said devilishly, cocking my head to the side just a little. What had gotten into me?

Troy's eyes started at my feet and worked there way up my whole body. He grinned mischievously.

"I'll hurry back!" he winked. And was out the door the next second. I padded back to the bed, then changed my mind and headed towards the bathroom. I needed the warm water falling over me, the steam of the shower.

I shivered when my feet came in contact on the cold tile, as I turned the knob on the shower and thrust open the curtain. My clothes were stripped off and I was in the shower, hot water covering me, in a matter of seconds. I sighed and let my mind wander. How had all this happened so fast? I was in this perfect state, completely at ease with the world. Troy was the only thing I needed right now.

That and a bagel. My stomach growled loudly as I got dressed in a bikini and shorts. I dried my long hair and slid on a small tank top. I felt totally new. Where was troy? It had been long enough for him to reach the bakery and back by now. Maybe he had gotten lost, this town was sort of tricky if you didn't know it like the back of your hand. Like Peyton and I did. we could navigate our way around anywhere. Day or night.

We knew all the best ice cream parlors—where the counter guys gave you free scoops—all the shadiest beach spots, and quiet hideouts like the cove that we randomly came across. It was like our own world back then.

I was getting a little restless now. There was this deep feeling in the pit of my stomach for some reason. I couldn't place it. I shrugged it off as hunger, even though it felt like some odd premonition. Whatever.

I strutted across the room to the balcony door and slid out, the day was turning slightly hazy. But here, it made the beach look even more irresistible, the houses even quainter, and the palm trees even more picturesque. I loved it. The air smelled humid and tropical, and a slight breeze brushed over me gently. Today was a perfect day.

I heard the door open abruptly. The lock clinking against the wall. Troy must be back then. Good, I thought. I was starved.

I smiled and pivoted around, making my way into the suite once again.

I can tell you exactly what I expected to see. Troy. With a bag of bagels and two cups of coffee. What I was met with, I couldn't have guessed even if faced with the same situation over and over again.

Tall, panting, and outrageously, furiously angry.

Chase.

Every single bone in my body froze. My brain stopped working. My breath caught. My muscles went limp in shock. I couldn't see, couldn't feel, and couldn't think. Everything shut off.

Today was a perfect day. Correction. Today was _supposed_ to be a perfect day.


	26. The Desolation: Part 2

**Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry I have been horrible with updating, and this story is like near the (very exciting) finish line so I know it's reeeeaaallllly mean of me to keep y'all waiting. So I will try harder! It has been super hectice with school and cheer (competition is coming up and we wanna go to Nationals this year) so we have to practice all the time. But I hope you guys enjoy this! I love all my readers/reviewers/favoriters/etc. Please read and review! Xxxx**

When I was little I was terrified of the dark. Not the cliché scared, the kind that included monsters under your bed or inside your closet, but the kind that held a deeper meaning. The dark. It's a blind world. There is nothing coming out or in, everything is secret and in a minute can swallow you.

I used to have one of those lamps that slowly spun around. The one that had shapes cut out in it, so when it was lit up and spun around it projected the shapes on the walls around your room. Mine, naturally, had ocean shapes in it. Sea shells and dolphins and star fish. I could never sleep without it twirling around my tiny bedroom. I don't remember how I got it, but I can't remember life before it. It lit up the scary blackness that is the dark. When I was little it was the one thing that kept me safe at night. I would watch those tiny dolphins and shells carousel around my room and every fear melted away. The darkness couldn't reach me then.

That's all I could see now, black. I had a faint feeling of pain on the back of my head somewhere. But it was almost like a whisper of pain, it felt far away. I couldn't remember much. Was I asleep back in the hotel with Troy? What was happening? I didn't have my lamp now. It was all black. No comforting shapes were putting me into a deep lullaby induced doze.

Ocean shapes. That brought something to mind, suddenly. I remembered the sea shells.

When Peyton and I where young, we used to spend all day combing the beach for shells. We found all sorts of shapes and sizes; colors and sheens; rough and smooth texture. We would take as many as we could carry, then once our handfuls were too bursting to bear, we would pull up the front of our dresses and drop them into it like one big pocket, our swim bottoms visible. At the end of each day we would compare our wonderous findings and save the best ones. Those got put into the trunk.

The "trunk", was actually a tiny wooden box our grandma had in her house. We'd discovered it one day and she had gladly handed it over. That was the special home for our little treasures. Sometimes I took my few favorite out and lined them up along the shelf in my room, right above the carousel lamp.

And that is what I saw now. My shelf. In very blurry vision, the shells as peircing white as possible. I saw my sea gems shining at me. Was this an illusion? Had I hit my head that hard?

The brightness of the shells triggered something in me. Pain. For I knew they were no longer there now, safe and sound on my tiny shelf. Then they vanished. I felt milding like I was spinning, and falling at the same time. I flailed out my arms to catch onto something, but they were as good as gone. I felt nothing. I was nothing.

**Troy**

Troy out his key card back in his pocket, opening the hotel door and closing it behind him.

"I'm back! Didn't take a lifetime did I?" he laughed coming into the room, holding coffee and a bag of bagels. Seeking the beautiful brunette girl he left just twenty minutes prior.

No answer.

He scanned the room, empty. That was odd?

He walked around the whole room, searched the bathroom and then finally found the balcony door open. The curtains blowing in the wind. He walked out to the balcony, still juggling his beverages and looked around. What the hell?

"Gabriella?" he called around, he didn't know where to look. She was here one minute, then as if disappearing into thin air, gone the next.

His eyes scaned around the balcony, randomly. Until the hit something important.

It was as if ice had shot through his veins. He dropped everything, coffee cups splitting open and pouring everywhere.

There was a small, silvery bracelet on the ground. With waves and water markings engraved in the stones. Gabriella's bracelet.

The clasp looked broken, showing signs of struggle. And she was gone. And he knew exactly who had taken her. Troy bolted out back through the door and raced down the hallways of the hotel. He took the stairs, trusting his own legs more than the elevator. He made it down various flights until he hit the main floor. Pushing through the fire escape door, he darted through the lobby to the parking lot. He gained many stares and scoffing as he rushed past.

He had to get to his car. _Now_.

He reached his Audi, hopped in and immediately fired it up to getaway. His feet pushing so hard he floored the pedal. He had to find her. He had to rescue her.

He had no idea where he was going. But he needed to drive. He needed to find that beautiful, troubled girl. She was so lost and fragile. She made him feel at ease, and he knew she needed him as well. it was as simple as that.

He ran multiple lights, thankful that he was in such a small and quiet old California town. Nothing was going to stop him. He was going to save the girl he loved, whatever it took.

**Gabriella**

My spinning carousel ride continued on and on. Through more lifetimes and eternities it seemed. I saw flashes of my life. I wondered briefly, if I was dead. And if I was, was I okay with that? It was incredibly unlikely that Chase would come all this way and not kill me. The visions brightened.

I saw Peyton's crib, the tiny baby looking out through the bars, grasping onto my little four year old hand; I saw Peyton and I swimming in the cove, kicking and splashing, blissful as ever, we thought we were mermaids. In fact, we were convinced we were. I saw the flash of bright seashells again, and the prints our feet made in the sand before the water washed them away.

I saw my mom and dad fighting one night after dinner, before she left us, I hid behind the banister, clutching a teddy bear, my hair dripping from a bath, too scared to show myself. I hated it when they fought. I saw my grandma's kitchen, fresh hazelnut cookies on the rack as I helped her set them out to cool. She was always wearing that apron with the flowers on it.

I saw the sky, right before I closed my eyes for a nap in the hammock; the day Peyton drowned. I saw the look on my dad's face when he woke me up abruptly and told me she was gone. And I saw the tiny child-sized coffin being lowered into the ground, the day of her funeral.

Everything seemed to mush together. I could no longer make out the pictures, they moved too fast. Like a movie on fast forward. They went so fast, and faster still, until they disappeared completely.

I was again submerged in a dark black nothing. All alone.

There was nothing but silence around me now. But then, slowly, streaks of light shot through my vision and I heard water. I was on a beach.

It wasn't just any beach. It was my beach. I could see the cove, just a little off in the distance. I struggled to sit up, my arms propping me up slowly. The sun was so very bright, almost unusally light. It took me a minute to realize it wasn't the sun, but everything was deeply illuminated and lightened. It was all white. The sand was even brighter, the water gleaming. I was still wearing my jeans and tank top, though. But they too, seemed to glow.

I saw something, or someone, sitting right by the tide. The water coming up closer then slowly washing back down into small waves. A perfect tide.

I sat up, noticing how good I felt. I should have been in deep pain from Chase's assault, yet I felt fine. Nothing hurt, I felt well rested and awake. A sense of calm coming over me. It was all so serene. Was this heaven?

For some reason, a feeling of longing entered me. I had to go closer to the person. I walked forward down the beach, the sand felt like powder under my bare feet, so soft and seductive. It brushed against me like small caresses. I walked further and further, the blob of a person now a proper silohouette. It was a girl.

I could see her long dark curls—very much remebling my own—delicately trickling down her back, and being blown in the perfect wind. The wind was warm, a light breeze.

The girl was crouching down, hugging her knees, and she appeared to be very young. I walked closer to her growing figure, now just behind her. I had a sense of familiarity, somehow I think I knew who she was. But it couldn't be?

She turned around, her long hair blowing back perfectly and her chocolate brown eyes brightening at my presence.

Peyton.

**Troy**

Troy drove absolutely everywhere. His hands gripping the wheel with such anger and force they must have been leaving small dents. His teeth were clenched and his heart rate dangerously high. He needed to find her. His breath came in pants, his eyes stinging. He couldn't lose her.

He was avidly searching for Chase's car. A blue Honda Accord with New Mexico plates, it would be the only on of it's kind here. This town was incredibly small.

He floored the pedal, speeding down a small highway like a bat out of hell. He was getting closer, he could feel it. His eyes darted back and forth to the land on either side of the road; searching for the car or any other clue. He had no idea what he was doing. His eyes caught a small gas station past an exit ramp. He took it eagerly, yearning for some type of information.

He pulled up to the station, killing the engine as an older man approached the Audi.

"Nice ride you've got there, son." He stated with a friendly smile. "I know my cars, and that ain't cheap."

Troy wanted to be friendly, he wasn't the type to overlook a gesture like that but this was an emergency.

"Sir, can you please tell me if you have recently seen a blue Honda Accord pass through here? It's _very _important. The car would've had New Mexico plates." Troy spilled, it came out fast and hurried. His grip on the wheel tightened.

The man seemed to understand his hurry.

"You've come to the right man. Just saw one come through here about forty-five minutes ago, in fact. You lookin' for someone, sonny?"

"Which direction did he go?" Troy asked in a high voice, now his heart was pounding so hard; it hurt.

"Why, he went that way past the outlet mall. More rural area, old houses and such—" But the man didn't get to finish. Troy had already flicked the engine back on and drove out of the station like a bullet. From behind him he heard:

"Hey! Didin't you want some gas?"

Troy's heart felt like it had just stopped altogether. He was going to find her, and when he did, he wasn't letting Chase ever see the light of day again.

His car sped past old houses and storefronts and he entered the abandoned looking suburbian area with lightening speed. All the while, intently looking for the car.

He was past most of the houses now, was there any left? He kept on going. He wasn't going to give up. He finally came to an empty area, way on down a deserted old road, he saw one lone wooden house. And in the very front of that house was a blue Honda Accord with New Mexico Plates.

**Gabriella**

It couldn't be.

But it was.

My little angel sister smiled up at me with perfect luminescent teeth. She looked just the same as the last day she spent on earth, yet somehow she seemed to have aged. It only bore on her small face. She was still tiny. She was wearing a thin white dress, falling right above her knees.

But her cheekbones were more defined, her eyes bigger and sparkling, and she held this sense of unlimited wisdom. She had been waiting for me.

I lost my voice; I didn't know what to say. But she did, she knew I was coming.

"Sissy, I've missed you." She said. I felt like I should've cried, or fallen to my knees just hearing her melodious voice for the first time in years, but I did none of these things; I couldn't. Peyton sensed my confusion and answered me.

"Nothing is sad here, sister. You leave all that behind you." She said simply. I nodded, a little awestruck.

"Peyton." I whispered, my voice was far away and full of longing. "I have missed you so much." I reached out my hand to pull her up, she stood facing me and wrapped her arms around me tightly. I smiled as her warm arms calmed me down. I was hugging my little sister again. I couldn't begin to fathom it.

She pulled back and smiled at me.

"Where are we?" I asked timidly, I was now suddenly more aware of my surroundings. The pristine beach didn't look as real as before; but it was so goregous. Almost enhanced.

"This is the other world. You come here when you die, it's beautiful isn't it?" Her remark washed over me. Die? Was I…dead?

"Peyton, am I dead?" I asked, my voice shaky. The tide came up then, lapping my feet with warm water that felt so smooth and calm.

Peyton's angelic face changed. The smile gone now. She didn't want to answer my question, I could tell.

"Gabriella, come with me." She said, taking my hand in her tiny one and leading me toward the cove. I was fearful of what was coming, but then that feeling was instantly dulled. You didn't feel anything but happiness here. I dilligently followed my little sister's lead.

We came to the cove mouth, the usual rough and course water looked different, like everything else, in the "other world". It was a caribbean blue and very calm. Peyton led me to the very edge, I noticed that seahells lined the whole cove as if specifically placed. Our seashells.

I gasped.

"They're ours. I thought they belonged here." She said sweetly gesturing toward all the glimmering gems.

When peyton died, I had taken to trunk to the cove and dumped every last one in the water. I hadn't wanted to look at them and be reminded of her, it was to much to bear. But now, here they were. Sparkling as ever. Not lost at the bottom of the ocean like they should be.

My heart skipped a beat as I admired them, gleaming along the water line.

"I love them here. They're perfect." I breathed. Smiling down at her glowing face.

I picked a few up, holding them in my hand and admiring their rough exterior. I held one up to my ear, hearing the ever present echo of the sea inside.

"That one is my favorite." Peyton grinned. She took it from my hand and gently dropped it into the cove water. I watched her in confusion.

Suddenly the water glowed an angelic white and shimmered. It became like a moving screen, showing me images of Peyton and I, on the deck of our grandmother's cottage. She was telling us a story, holding the two of us on her lap. I could almost hear her sweet loving voice. It flickered to a picture of our mom, my breath caught. She was just as I remembered her, milky white skin and long auburn hair. She was holding our hands as we walked along the tide.

The water stilled and vanished the images of the past. It returned to normal, caribbean blue ocean.

"Beautiful, isn't it? I watch them all the time." She laughed. the shell was suddenly back in her hand, she set it down, back in its row of place.

"Yes. I wish… we had more memories of her." Referring to our mother. But my feeling of unease was short lived. Peyton took my hand again, leading me past the cove to the small paml covered shore on the other side.

"Come here, Gabby. There is one more thing you don't know. I need to tell you." Her tiny voice took on a grave tone. I was suddenly worried for her. I abliged and walked with her, my mind full of assumptions.

We reached the palm tree shaded area, blue wake lapping up to the shore in a rythmic motion. I sat down, feeling the powdered sand once more. Peyton stood still as she gazed out onto the white horizon, her dress flowing like a picture. Everything was so perfect here.

"Pey, what is it?" I asked her, worried. Something was very wrong. There was something she hadn't told me.

She looked sad, but at peace.

"The day I…disappeared. Well…" She trailed off. Finally looking at me with her deep brown eyes, my eyes. Her lips pursed like a porcelin doll's.

"Well what?" I felt uneasy now.

"I didn't just drown, sissy." And that's when my blood ran cold and I gulped, because I was pretty sure I knew what was to come next.

"Daddy drowned me."


	27. I Look After You

**Troy**

Troy hit the brakes so hard the car skidded and drifted the the outer lane. He pulled up right in front of the wood paneled old house, next to Chase's car. The house was in bad shape. Shattered glass windows in the front, cracked wood panels and musty looking pillars holding up the overhead porch.

He was out of the Audi so fast, door slamming behind him as he bolted up to the front steps and swung open the falling-to-pieces front door. It hit the wall with an audible sound, dust kicking up into the air of the foyer—deserted and bare of any furniture. He was in autopilot.

He screamed at the top of his lungs in rage, everything was coming loose now.

"Where the fuck is she? Gabriella!" He yelled into the empty house. He tore through the foyer and into a sitting room, or what would've been, had there been chairs.

He ran up the stairs, coaxed when he heard a muffled sound. He raced down a corridor, dust kicking up under his feet with each step, until he reached a small room. It was walled in floor-to-ceiling windows, glassy and fogged. Light streaked into the room, almost blindingly. And on the hard wood floor lay a very frail and unconcious Gabriella.

Troy's breath caught and for the first time in the past two hours he felt like he was frozen, it all slowed for a moment. Then he made eye contact with the man standing over her frame. Tall, grimy, and seething with pride: Chase. The fucking bastard.

For a moment, no one spoke. Neither boy moved nor blinked.

"I'm going to fucking kill you if you've even touched her." Troy whispered with more hatred and threat then he could have if he were shouting.

**Gabriella**

My blood ran cold. My heart stopped. I couldn't breathe. The glow of this "other side" seemed to dim in my eyes for just a moment. Seagulls in the distance flew overheard in a picture perfect "V".

"Pey… Please no." I whispered. This was uncomprehendable.

Her face did not look sad, but relieved. Relieved that she'd finally had the chance to tell me, to rid her soul of this hideous bearing. Her little innocent face was expressionless and glass smooth.

"I don't know why he did it, Gabby." Her voice was airy and questioning. I didn't understand how she could be so calm. What happened for our family to deserve this? What was wrong with him?

"I… I hate him. I can't believe this." I wanted so badly to cry and yell but…I could not. Not here. It was heaven. You don't cry here.

"It's okay. The moment…it happened, I was here. I was safe and I was here."

I imagined how my reaction would be if I were hearing this on earth, with no serene barrier to keep my emotions in check. I pushed the thought away.

"There isn't anything you can do. I am meant to be here, I am meant to be telling you this. I am saving you, sissy." She was so determined. I was so confused and angry but it kept slipping away from me. This place was charmed. You could not be anything but serene.

"I am so sorry. I didn't know….I…" My words morphed together and I couldn't really tell her what I wanted to. What did you say in a situation like this?

"It's okay. Sometimes there are no reasons for things that happen. But I know I am meant to be here. To save you." Her voice chimed with information and knowledge. She was very sure of herself.

"Save me? I'm not…dead?" I stopped in my tracks, we were now walking along the pristine tide of the glowing beach that lay on the side of the cove.

It felt wrong to ask that of someone who was, but she seemed to be letting no to something that I was unaware of. My confusion returned.

Peyton shook her head, long curls flowing down her shoulders with the movement. She had a half smile on her perfect face, her red lips full and demure. There was more to this visit…

"You are not dead, sissy. You're not ready yet." She stated simply.

"And you were?" I barely choked out. Suddenly I could see my tiny sister, by far not this mature, running along the shore with me and grabbing seashells for the trunk; giggling late at night in our room; pretending we were mermaids in the cove; and hiding from mom and dad when they were fighting. She couldn't be ready. She had to be with me again. I needed her.

Peyton sensed this burst of emotion and touched my arm. She looked up at me reproachfully, her eyes held so much wisdom it was baffling. The sun beamed down on us, bright yet not painfully light. It glowed. Just like everything around me.

"I belong here. This is my world now, the other side was meant for me, Gabby." She whispered, a harmony couldn't have sounded more beautiful. I was vaguely aware of that glow that outlined her once more. She was going to stay here.

"But you, you are going back. Someone on that side needs you more than anything right now."

Troy. My heart beat a little faster at the thought of his name.

**Troy**

Nothing could've stopped his fist from flying through the air at that second. It hit Chase square in the jaw; he groaned in pain and fell back.

Troy took the free second to assess the beautiful, unconscious girl at his feet. Her eyes were tightly shut and bruises already formed lightly on her arms and one just visible on her cheek bone. He gritted his teeth. A noise from the corner alerted him Chase was on the rampage. He came surging at Troy, blood seeping out of his mouth. Troy jumped in front of him and hooked his arm viciously up at Chase's face once more. It connected powerfully and sent his head back. More blood.

Troy took a deep breath, rage pulsated throughout his body. He wasn't going to stop.

Taking advantage of Chase's pause in action, he shoved his shoulders against the wall, hard. The house shook. Troy looked him hard in the eye.

"She didn't deserve _any_ of this. You sick bastard!" He shouted, his voice cracking with anger. He brought his fist up to punch again, but Chase caught it midair. He shoved Troy off him and pushed him down. Troy hit the floor with an audible _Bam! _The wind knocked out of him, he struggled for breath as Chase jumped on top of him. All the air left his lings now.

"You're fucking dead." Chase swore.

Jet black hair covering his face, Chase brought his fist up and shot it out into Troy's face. It hit him in his temple. He cringed but didn't feel pain; he couldn't feel anything at all. He twisted around and threw Chase to the ground, now the one in command.

"Don't think so." He kicked him hard in the side and was back near his face in a flash, socking him hard in the eye. Chase gasped, swore and tried to free himself.

They were both like flashes of light, flying around the room, at each other's throats and throwing punches each second. He was struggling to keep up. His eyes kept flashing to Gabriella. He needed to make sure she was okay. He had to call the cops. But he couldn't break free. It was impossible.

Chase had kicked him in the back of the knees, Troy made a bad decision, turning to face Gabriella and assess her once more. Chase took Troy's distraction in a second and he was writhing on the floor in pain. Chase hovered over him and kicked him hard in the ribs. A loud crack filled the tiny viewing room. Troy's body burned, his rib cage was on fire. Something broke but he didn't have the time to care. He was on his feet and going at Chase in the next second. The power struggle continuing. He had to end this.

He was bleeding, his mouth, his arm, and something else. Everything burned but he didn't have the time to feel it. He grabbed Chase's neck, nails digging in and sent him flying backwards. His head hit the wall violently and he hit the ground, passed out.

"Fuck." Try gasped, panting as he stood up and raced to Gabriella. He scooped her up in his arms in a flash. He sprinted out of the windowed room and out into the lengthy old corridor. Where did the front door go! He couldn't remember his way in, the old house's formatting was confusing. He gripped Gabby tighter in his bleeding arms and made the decision to go through one of the door ways.

It led him into a dark, cold room. An old parlor. An aging staircase sat in the corner, leading up to God knows where. Tiled floor was all around him as well as peeling old wallpaper and a moth eaten couch. He set Gabriella on it, cupping her cheek. He couldn't see now, tears filled his eyes and threatened to fall. He couldn't lose her. He kissed her forehead gently and fished around for his phone.

He pulled it out of his genes, his hands so fidgety and nervous it slipped out of his hands. The sleek black phone hit the tile and he dove for it. He needed to call 911 _now._

His fingers danced across the touch screen dialing the three numbers and holding it to his ear. They picked up immediately.

"_911 what's your emergency?" _the operator said almost robotically.

Footsteps sounded from the halls. Chase was coming.

"Please help! I'm trapped in an old house and my girlfriends not responding! He's going to kill u—"Cold metal was against his neck; a very sharp blade. The phone was slapped put of his hand and hit the wall. And black iphone pieces flew all over the room. Chase towered over him; troy was on his knees, bending over Gabriella protectively. He glared up at Chase and stood. The knife was shoved against his neck in a threat, it cut the skin a tad, but he was able to flick it out of Chase's grip and send in soaring across the room.

"She isn't going anywhere." Chase growled. "And neither are you!" He tried to hit Troy, but he quickly dodged it and came up around the other side of Chase. Hitting him in the jaw again. It cracked, broken. Chase grabbed it and wailed. Whipping around to face Troy just as he dodged away once more. He came at Chase in a rush, his footwork swift and quick. His adrenaline was kicked into full speed.

"You will _never _touch her again!" He placed both hands on Chase's shoulders and shoved hard. He flew back again but didn't hit the wall. Troy heard sirens coming closer, they were loud and shrill. He felt the first feeling all day besides fear and rage: Relief. This was about to end.

His head flicked back around to glance at Gabriella, just for a moment. She was still unconscious; lying on the couch almost lifelessly. It made his heart ache and his anger flare up even hotter. Chase recovered from the blow and came at Troy with a vicious stride.

Troy took one huge step toward him, his fists clenched tight. In that second all the memories and images of the damage this man had done to the person he loved most in this world flashed through his mind. He would never, ever forgive him for this. Never.

He was just close enough now to deliver a strong hit. Chase grimaced at him, but his eyes were full of sick humor. He was feeding off this. Troy clenched his teeth, pulled his fist back and struck forward so fast he barely caught the surprised look on Chase's face as it hit him square in the center of his forehead. He flew backwards, the wall successfully breaking the stumble and Chase crashed to the floor. Jaw bleeding, he was out cold.

Troy stood over Chase's body breathing deeply and trying to remain composed. All the images and memories of bruises, cuts, and a broken girl vanished. Everything shattered from his mind as he stared at the finished man on the ground. This was over.

He heard wheels screeching outside and a number of footsteps rushing up the front steps, the door busted open as people ran inside. The police.

**Gabriella**

Peyton and I stopped along the sand line. The beautiful water lapped up at our feet and felt warm to the senses. I breathed in calmly, ridding myself of anything troubling. I wanted to focus, to enjoy every moment I had with my little sister. I knew they wouldn't last long.

Peyton closed her eyes, her face up tilted up to the sky and her smile warm and innocent. "I love the sun here." She spoke softly.

I felt like I was being distracted. She was coming near the end of our reunion. I could feel it.

"Peyton, I don't have to leave." I offered to her. I think it came across more as a bargain, or a beg. I didn't want to leave her just yet. Her eyes opened and she looked at me solemnly and wisely.

"Yes, yes you do. I already told you it's not time yet." Her eyes looked bright and fiery, she didn't want me to leave either but that wasn't in her control, I now understood. She didn't make the rules. The water at our feet sparkled with promise and new hope. It was like something I would've pictured in my mind when imagining the cove and our old home. Yet, it was here in front of me and I still felt like it was miles away.

"I don't want to leave you here." My voice broke off, I felt overcome with the idea of my little sister being left in this bright beautiful world all alone.

"I'm not alone, Gabby. Don't worry about me, I will always be here and I will always be looking out for you." She smiled at me sweetly. I bit my lip.

"It's time isn't it?"

"Yes. I have told you everything you needed. You need to go back now, he's waiting for you." Peyton said, speaking of Troy. I knew this was true, I needed him too. I felt so torn.

She looked out to the water, right in front of us. It suddenly became much more vast and sparkling, I could see for miles past the tide. It was endless.

She pointed toward the water, looking back at me. I understood, this was how I was going to get back to my world. I took a step toward Peyton and grabbed her in my arms. I hugged her tiny body tightly to mine. My lips kissed the top of her little head, and she hugged me back.

"I love you _so _much, Pey. You are everything to me, you're my whole world. I will never ever go a day without thinking about you. I want you to know that." I gasped out in a shaky voice. The water touching my feet was like reality, a small dose. I was able to touch my other feelings here.

"I know that Gabby. I love you too. Don't dwell on this, or what happened. You cannot fix it and you don't need to. Everything happens for a reason, that is what I learned here. He takes care of all of us in the other world, it's His job and you need to live your life. Live it for the both of us." She said to me, her voice was so full of insight I felt tears come to my eyes and stream down my cheeks. God would take care of her, she would be safe.

We let each other go. I looked at her one last time, a smile through my tears. I loved her more than anything in the world; I had closure knowing she would be okay. I had to carry on my story while she lived her's here. So, I stepped forward into the water, feeling the warm liquid against my calves, welcoming me.

I stepped into it further, and kept on walking; vanishing into the bright white light that surrounded the other world.

**Troy**

The next couple hours were a true blur to him. Cops coming in and out, an ambulance arriving, Chase being cuffed and dragged into a squad car. Troy was questioned and investigated for a short while. But apparently the cops had been tipped off by someone who had seen a young male carrying an unconscious girl across a hotel parking lot. So he was determined uninvolved with anything.

He stayed at Gabriella's side as the ambulance technicians checked her out and loaded her onto a stretcher. He didn't budge; he was not going to leave her. Once the cops had left with Chase, and the crime scene began to be investigated, he climbed into the back of the ambulance with two techs and the stretcher holding the girl he loved.

He watched the old house get smaller and smaller out the back windows as they rode on down the street toward the nearest hospital. Glad to be leaving this all behind. His hand stroked Gabriella's cheek, her eyes shut tight and her lips full and pursed. His eyes blurred suddenly, tears. He fought them back; he was so worried about her. He stroked her forehead and cheekbones gently. Needing reassurance.

The next thing he knew they had reached the hospital, Gabriella was taken to a private medical ward to be examined. He was left waiting in the lobby on that floor, fingers tapping the arm rest of the chair and mind racing. This was taking forever, he couldn't take it. He stood up abruptly, startling the middle-aged woman near him. He began pacing back and forth along the small sitting area full of chairs, tables with assorted magazines, and water coolers. He was going to go insane.

Every thought was her. She enveloped his mind; he needed to know she was okay. His heart was pounding in his ears. He couldn't hear anything. He couldn't see anything.

Just then two doctors came out of a room, dressed in blue scrubs and white lab coats. They called for Troy, his head snapped up and he raced for them.

"How is she? What is wrong? She's okay right? Right?" he spat out quickly and hurried. He couldn't speak, she had to be okay. She had to.

The doctor on his left nodded and put his hand on Troy's shoulder. "She is fine, still unconscious for the moment but that will only last a little longer. She has a few bruises and minor cuts, nothing serious. You are very lucky." He said matter-of-factly. Troy just about collapsed with relief.

He sprinted past the pair, running down the medical ward's corridors in a rush.

"Room 308!" The female doctor called to him. He was almost there. His feet couldn't carry him there fast enough.

At last, he came to the door and rushed inside. Gabriella lay peacefully sleeping, on a bed hooked up to an IV. Her beautiful hair splayed out around her pillow like a mermaid. She was full of more color, healthier. He gasped; his heart seemed to be let up from a million weights. He took her hand and squeezed it tightly in his. Ran his fingertips delicately across her cheek.

Then, leaned over, cupping her face and placed one soft kiss upon her perfect flushed lips.

**Gabriella**

The white light enclosed me in its vast surroundings. It was pure and bright and I felt weight start to pile onto me as I walked further into it. I took a step backwards, the weight lifted almost instantly. That was odd?

I knew that I wasn't allowed to go back to the other world, Peyton told me so. But, it felt so much better there. I had all my emotions and feelings heightened in the bright light; the darker part was so much easier to give in to. I hesitated, knowing I had to make the right choice.

I strode on into the brightness, feeling the weight again. The pain came after that.

I started seeing bruises appear on my arms, I felt soreness all over me. This was my entry back to the real world. Where nothing could be masked like it did so nicely in Peyton's world. I kept going though, toward where I belonged. I started to slowly feel myself disappearing, as if that were possible to explain.

I kept on my track walking, I could feel something now. I was close to my destination, to where I needed to be.

My feet carried me just a few more steps, the white became almost unbearably bright, a beautiful flash of purity and life and then—

I was back.

My eyes opened the tiniest bit, they were so heavy. I heard the light _beep…beep…beep _of my heart hooked up to a monitor near my bed. I was in a hospital.

The room was dark and I couldn't assess all my surroundings at first, they slowly registered. I felt weight on my side and looked over to my right, Troy was sleeping lightly. His head was gently resting on my stomach. With an immense amount of effort I lifted my aching hand from my side and ran it through his hair. A familiar feeling.

He picked his head up and looked right at me. I had never seen someone look so happy and relieved.

"Gabriella." He breathed, almost a choked whisper. His voice was the most refreshing thing in the world, like a splash of cool water on a blazing day. He sat up and cupped my face. "Baby, I was so worried about you." He barely was able to finish without his breath hitching.

I was weak all over, so tired. I managed a few words. "Troy. What…what happened?" My voice was raspy. I didn't understand, one moment I was looking out on the deck and the next I was emerged inside Peyton's world. Was it all a dream? It couldn't have been.

Troy gazed down at me; his eyes were full of something. A calm reassurance. How close to death had I been?

"You need rest, that is the most important thing right now, love. You must be exhausted. Are you in any pain? I can get the nurse." His voice was soothing. I was feeling sleepy.

"N-no I'm fine. Just stay with me." I grasped his hand in mine. He smiled; his teeth were a glowing vision. His whole face lit up. I was so happy to be back.

"I'm not going anywhere, babe." I smiled weakly back at him. The soreness in my body was unbearable. But I didn't want him to leave me to get the nurse; I just endured it for now. It felt like years since I had touched him. He leaned down and kissed me fully on the lips. I closed my eyes in pleasure.

He pulled back and gazed at me lovingly.

"What time is it?" I asked, suddenly aware of reality. I heard shuffling outside our private room. Doctors rushing past, beeping noises, telephones ringing.

"It's almost midnight. Just ten 'til." He answered me. I nodded and when I did, I winced in pain. My neck was so stiff. Troy looked at me: worried.

"Are you sure you don't want me to get the nurse? You could probably use some painkillers, Gabby." I told him no again. It would be fine in a little while. He finally took my answer and pulled my covers back. Then climbed alongside me into the hospital bed. I scooted into his chest as he lay down next to me, covering us up with the thin sheets. His arms wrapped around my frail body, warming me up in an instant. This was where I belonged. Peyton was right.

The windows were black; the darkness of the night around us had set in while I had slept. I could make out the shadows of palm trees illuminated by street lamps on the ground level. I could hear the ocean too. Lightly, but it was there.

"Troy?" I whispered into his chest. He opened his eyes.

"Mmm?" He smiled down at me. His hand coming to the side of my face to smooth my hair.

"I love you." My words spoke everything. The truth.

"As I love you." He said back to me and kissed the top of my head, his arms tightened around me. I closed my eyes in absolute content. Knowing everything was over.

I was free.

Behind my closed lids I could just make out the beautiful face of my little sister. Smiling at me still engulfed in her white angel glow.

**Well that is it! This has been almost four years in the making! I hope you guys liked this story. There will be an epilogue that I am writing right now! Should be up in a couple days! There will be no sequel but I think you guys will absolutely adore the epilogue! So please stay tuned and read the epilogue it has some really great surprises! Love to you all! Xoxo**


	28. Epilouge: Paradise

_3 Years later…_

**Gabriella**

I entered the brightly lit bedroom, butterflies painted on the walls. The serene sound of the ocean entered my ears and soothed me as I walked past a tiny canopied bed, stepping over blocks and baby dolls and a plastic tea set. The colors of light pink and white on the walls around me were glowing from midday sunlight; it streamed through the sheer curtains.

I sat down on a soft plush chair covered in teddy bears, facing the water view and was handed a book by the small child that climbed on my lap. A book I have read many, many times. Maybe too many.

"How about I tell you a story? Your favorite story." I grinned tucking my hair behind my ear as I set the book back down. My offer was met with a very enthusiastic _Yes! _So I began.

"Once upon a time, in a beautiful sunny town. There were two sisters. They lived in a cottage on the beach with their family. Every day they would play together in the sand and swim inside their magic cove, it was their secret hiding place that they went to when they needed an escape. The sisters loved each other very much, but their family wasn't always happy so sometimes they went to live with their grandmother in the bay. She baked cookies with them and told them stories about beautiful mermaids each time they came. The sisters would sit in her big rocking chair and watch the sunset each evening while she sang songs to them about the sea. And every time they went there, they would collect seashells by the tide.

Seashells were the sisters' favorite things in the whole world. They collected so many they had to put them all in a magic box so they could keep them forever. Each day they would count all the pretty shells and pick their favorite ones. They would make wishes on them and listen to the sound of the ocean, they wished they would always have each other. But, one day when the littler sister went out by herself, some things changed and the little sister went off to live in a very different world.

The big sister was so sad and angry that she was all alone, she took the magic box from her bedroom, went to the cove and dumped out all the pretty seashells where they sunk to the bottom of the ocean. She was so angry that the shell wishes didn't come true. Her sister was not with her and she felt very alone. Some time went by and the older sister moved away to a place where there was no ocean and people were very mean to her there. She cried every night. It made her very sad. She was so sad and missed the magic cove so much that one day she ran away from her new home back to her old cottage by the sea.

A prince followed her there, he really liked her. He followed her all the way to the magic cove to make sure she was okay and stayed there to make her feel better. The sister finally decided that her little sister would love her no matter where she was and that nothing could keep them apart. And because she realized this, she got to feel happy again and she and the prince fell in love. Their love was so strong that the sister never felt sad again. She would never, ever forget her little sister but she knew that she would want her to feel happy and enjoy life. So the prince and the big sister stayed in the beach town with the magic cove nearby, and they lived happily ever in a castle by the sea with their princess daughter." I smiled as I finished the story. I had told this many times, but it never got old. It was a favorite. A story that meant the world to me.

I smiled down at the adorable four year-old sitting on my lap, her long dark curls went past her shoulders and her eyes were a deep blue, just like her daddy's. She grinned up at me.

"I wuv dat story, mommy!" She clapped her hands excitedly. I sat up from the chair, picking her up with me. She wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Alright story time is over, we have to meet daddy for our walk." We walked across her nursery, her tiny hands playing with my grandmother's bracelet, still tightly on my wrist, to the two large French doors. I opened them and we strolled out onto the pristine white sand that warmed my bare feet. The sun was high and bright, a gleaming vision reflecting off the water.

Just down at the shore line I spotted my husband, his back to us as he looked out on the water, hands in his pockets. I walked up closer, still holding our daughter in my arms as we reached him. He turned around at the sound of my footsteps.

Troy smiled, his blue eyes lighting up. "Hey babe, where have you been?" He smiled and approached us, he kissed me softly first and then reached down to my arms, taking our daughter into his arms and kissing her on the head.

"Morning Peyton." He said grinning down at her as she reached up to touch his cheek and giggle.

**The end! Oh my god this is crazy! Can't believe this story is over, I have to say it was my all time favorite! I love it so much and am so glad I stuck by it. I came up with this such a long time ago and now it's turned into something that I never thought it would, I'm so happy with the turnout and hope you guys loved this as much as I did! Please read and review and I have a surprise coming up: A new story! It is going to be really good! Not a sequel to this but an entire new idea so lookout for it. I am also continuing Blood Lust (slowly but surely) so check that out too! Xoxo**


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